Slashdot Mirror
NIST Studies Virus, DDoS Effect On Grids
Ben writes "Scientists at the National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) have launched a new campaign to study the effect of viruses and denial of services attacks on grid computing systems. Specifically, they're developing models to establish vulnerability and find ways of fixing problems. But a grid's very strength -- its distibuted nature -- makes it vulnerable, indeed, they're finding. (Via Science Blog)"
Cue in jokes about studying the slashdot effect on grid computer...
But seriously, what can simulate a DDoS more accurately than a bazillion slashdotters trying to RTFA and get the slashdot fix?
Did anyone else read that as "NIST Studies Virus, DDoS Effect on Girls?"
I suppose DDoS'ing a girl is a pretty good way to give her a virus.
Slashdot is proof that Sturgeon's Law applies to mankind.
The perfect web ad for the slashdot crowd!
NIST Studies Virus, DDoS Effect On Grids
Boy are they in denial. Yeah sure, it was all just an experiment...studying, right....
Now the first step in any virus infection is admitting you have a problem (You havent patched), the second step is allowing others to help. Just these easy instructions and your grid will be sasser free in no time....
Dont worry, despite popular misconception its not just typical poor grannies with fat pipes that fall victim to script kiddies. Some think its the stress that comes with a high responsibility job of a computer scientist at an goverment research body makes one extra suseptible. Unlike grannies computer scientist are likely to try to hide the fact they are infested to avoid imbaresment.
How to recognise a victim:
You may notice their work is slowing down and they may take decades for even the simplest urgent security tasks Then they will start their denial. When questioned about stuff like this the typical computer scientist in denial will respond its the NSA that made him recommend the intentionally broken crypto years after its publicly cracked and that his or her grid isn`t really infected but that he/she is just "researching viral distribution paterns".
How to help:
Forcing someone like this to admit the problem takes time. It is best if you just direct these victims to you local script kiddie victims anonymous gathering. After a few sessions most victims will want to enter the 3 step program on their own... Ofcourse there are the more discreet commercial venues for helping with problems like this but they just want to get you addicted to virus paterns.
Remember it takes courage to admit you have a problem. This has been a script kiddie victims anonymous service announcement