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Windows Accelerators - Do They Really Work?
danila asks: "Today I came across an intriguing review of Windows tweakers on a Russian technology news site. Among the plethora of traditional registry tweakers, the review mentioned Hare 1.5.1. The developers promised nothing less than up to 300% speed increase, 10% FPS increase in 3D games, automatic RAM preservation and even a wizard that automatically cleans and optimizes Windows. It also had AntiCrash 3.6.1 a program to prevent up to 95.8% of Windows crashes. Understandably, I was both intrigued and suspicious since it sounded too good to be true." Has anyone tried this piece of software with any degree of success? How successful are other "windows accelerators" at improving Windows performance?
"After a little research I found that download.com didn't have it and there are precious few reviews of this revolutionary software online, but that it was endorsed by McAfee and that developers touted conformance with Microsoft's interface guidelines as an important feature.
Still suspicious, I gathered all my courage and installed both programs (silently preparing for something like Bonsi Buddy or XXX Toolbar) on my Win2k Pro machine (P4 1.6/512Mb). Truth be told, after several minutes I was blown away. Obviously I can't tell how well every promised features works, but disk caching (and pre-fetching) that Hare does is outstanding and display performance improved enough to scare me - windows were opening, minimizing and redrawing without the delay I was accustomed to.
The question is -- is it real or was I fooled by some clever placebo tricks? And if it is real, why isn't the Web full of success stories involving Hare and AntiCrash? Why isn't everyone installing them on every Windows machine in the world? And a rhetorical question -- why doesn't Microsoft incorporate some of the features into its operating systems."
Still suspicious, I gathered all my courage and installed both programs (silently preparing for something like Bonsi Buddy or XXX Toolbar) on my Win2k Pro machine (P4 1.6/512Mb). Truth be told, after several minutes I was blown away. Obviously I can't tell how well every promised features works, but disk caching (and pre-fetching) that Hare does is outstanding and display performance improved enough to scare me - windows were opening, minimizing and redrawing without the delay I was accustomed to.
The question is -- is it real or was I fooled by some clever placebo tricks? And if it is real, why isn't the Web full of success stories involving Hare and AntiCrash? Why isn't everyone installing them on every Windows machine in the world? And a rhetorical question -- why doesn't Microsoft incorporate some of the features into its operating systems."
Nothing accelerates windows like a good ol' fashioned 9.8m/s^2
My Windows 2K install was pretty slow too, then I grabbed this one program. I think it was called Mac OS X. Ever since then, haven't had any viruses, crashes or slow performance. You should give it a try...
They cost about $200 more than your current processor, and you can buy them from Intel or AMD.
There are no trails. There are no trees out here.
silently preparing for something like Bonsi Buddy or XXX Toolbar
And disappointed when that didn't happen. I know. I know. I love Bonzi Buddy too
I tried it, too, completely broke my new Dell !
So is someone going to post about their actual experience with one of these products?
Never accelerate your Windows when you live in a glass house.
Yeah...by the same people who will enhance your manhood, give you immediate credit even if you're bankrupt and want you to click here to "unsubscribe" from future messages.
Did you know that gullible is not in the dictionary?
Programs like this never seem to work for me when I download them from Kazaa.
Not the brightest bulb in the box are we? Why don't you buy the software and write a review based on it. Don't forget 386to486.exe while you're at it.
Only the State obtains its revenue by coercion. - Murray Rothbard
This is like the people who, when you tell them that they need a new head gasket or valve seals, ask "Isn't there some stuff that I can put in my gas to fix it?" Of course the answer is yes, for $19.99, you can buy a bottle of stuff that will save you a $1000 repair bill.
Or not.
People are going to claim that "you can edit your 1337.ini file and set suck=no under the [R0XoR5] heading, and get a 11.1% FPS difference, d00d!"
This is great for the tinfoil hat crowd, that MS, Intel and Madonna are part of a sinister cabal to put you on an upgrade treadmill. It's also great for the Uncle Joe 6Pack crowd, people who typically "know about computers" and have loud opinions on that great free HP printer they got when they signed up for MSN.
There's no magic bullet.
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
My favorite app for windows acceleration is a nifty little app named FORMAT.COM. It's been known to increase windows speed by up to 1000%...
FreeBSD Addicts
And what are those revolutionary 11 bytes you may ask?
"HELLO WORLD"
Required reading for internet skeptics
but will it make DOOM 3 faster?
Well, it didn't work on their webserver...
...back in the (somewhat older) days when I spent most of my time in front of my beloved Compam 386 computer, I stumbled upon a bit of software called "386to486", which promised to instantly convert my 386 chip to a 486 chip. This was my first PC, and I didn't know much about it, but I was still a bit skeptical and very curious about how such a program could work.. So I checked the README file, which enlightened me on the subject with something along the lines of:
:^)
COMPUTER MAKERS DON'T TELL YOU EVERYTHING! THERE'S SECRET TRICKS THAT CAN BE USED TO CONVERT YOUR 386 into a 486!
Now, conviced it was just a hoax, or something worse, I tried the program. (I didn't really care about my data - the harddrive was dropped into the ground - multiple times, and the poor few working sectors I had only contained data I had copied from floppies anyway), The program happily told me the magical transformation was complete. I fired up MSD.EXE to check - no change in identification. Still a 386. I ran a benchmark program, which didn't show any change from before. Just to try, I ran the magic software again - this time I got the text "Your computer is already a 486!". At least the programmers thought about that. Well, no bigger disappointment, since I didn't really expected anything useful to happen. I never found out if it was a virus either...
Years later - a new little utility turned up on the BBSes I frequented - it was called 486toPentium, and the cheerful description of the file was "FROM THE GUYS WHO BROUGHT YOU 386to486"
Amazing!
Where do you store the \0?
From the hare website:
Hare will improve performance no matter what software you use, thanks to a revolutionary compact 88-bit Kernel, which accelerates common system instructions
WTF? This is complete BS.
No, it's not ! I have disassembled that 88-bit kernel, and here is the source:
No, they built it on a piano!
The only reason we have the rights we have is that people just like us died to gain those rights. -- Cheerio Boy
And I'll promise "up to $1M" to anyone who replies to this comment. Seriously.
Bear in mind that the term "up to" includes the number "zero", so to promise "nothing less than up to 300%" is to promise "nothing less than zero".As for my "up to $1M" offer, guess which end of the scale I choose for payoffs. The zero end.
You were 80% angel, 10% demon. The rest was hard to explain. - Over The Rhine
"Math in a song is good."-Linford
Our chief weapon is multiple hardware support...support and faster desktop execution...execution and support. Our two weapons are multiple hardware support and faster desktop execution...and ruthless efficiency. Our *three* weapons are multiple hardware support, faster desktop execution, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to Bill Gates. Our *four*...no....amongst our weaponry...are such elements as multiple hardware support, faster desktop execution...I'll come in again...
Rule #1 -- Politics always trumps technology.
Wait a sec...
The Cheese Stands Alone.
That's a mistake there. You accidentally disassembled the CPU-Cooling program. The 88-bit kernel gets it's 300% speed boost by only executing every third instruction!. Of course, you may notice some odd glitches in your favorite software, but boy is it fast! ;)
Urge to post... fading... fading... RISING!... fading... fading... gone.
It sped up my system so fast that my Blue screens of death turned into a RED Screens of Death!
a faster way to have your data deleted
Yeah, but it's 300% faster11!!!
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
1. On Slashdot, nobody values the opinion of Windows users.
...3. PROFIT! ... No, wait, wrong silly Slashdot reference.
2. The only people who can answer this accurately are Windows users.
3. Therefore, the only people who can answer this accurately will not have their opinions seriously considered.
Signature.
The emulate the integer execution corein the FP unit, translating everything to 88-bit floating point notation!
https://www.accountkiller.com/removal-requested
Oh, my god.
/hated/ my IIsi. I was developing assembly with it, and found the video memory unbeleivably slow, as it was shared with main memory.
/. post.
I
I hated apple for their crippled design (I loved my Mac Plus so much), and ended up buying a NeXTstation and became a NeXT developer. Funny thing.
I never thought there was a solution. I never guessed that, one day, some AC would give it to me in a random
Thank you. You made my day.
shareware junkies - 5 of 5, english worse then mine
worse than mine
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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
That's coming in version 2.0.
Alternative question: Why make Windows crash faster?
Reminds me of back when file compression was the big thing ... one program would delete your file, then use UNDELETE trickery to get it back. Worked fine, until you overwrote those sectors or defragged.
That seems a bit suspicious. 88-bit!?
It just uses your piano along with your processor. As long as you can stand the noise of your piano running at several Ghz, it's quite the improvement.
Of course this is all pointless since noe one is EVER going to pass more than an _int64 instruction in any code in any program ever
...
Nobody will ever need more than 640K of RAM either
Do not meddle in the affairs of geeks for they are subtle and quick to anger
Interesting concept.
Bob: "You've got two CPUs in your computer? What on Earth for?"
Neo: "One's for getting work done."
Bob: "What about the other one?"
Neo: "Oh, that's for Windows."
Please note that the 'sig' printed above is basically an 'rm -rf /' in perl-obsfucacted code, and that the comment is by an AC, so it really isn't a sig...
And yes, i discovered that it is that, not by perl-knowledge on my part, but because i, well, ran it.....
So mod him down please, but if you feel like testing it, for God's sake, do it on an unprivileged account...