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Politics Making Strange Bedfellows
loid_void writes "Leave it to Reuters to report that the run-up to the U.S. presidential election is casting the spotlight on a new crop of Web sites for political-minded singles who are seeking Mr. or Ms. Right... or Left. But as such sites make small gains in the polls, another debate is brewing among singles in this politically divided nation: Is it better to find a like-minded mate or to cross party lines in the search for true love? Reached last week on his cell phone at the Republican National Convention in New York, Brian Barcaro said he does not interparty date and has no plans to start... let the debate begin!"
"date"?
There's our fictional cross-party/cross-cultural couple, and they seemed to do fine. I think if you care so much about a political party or viewpoint that you would consider only dating/marrying exclusively in that pool of people, you have some serious issues that make you unfit for such things.
11*43+456^2
This is such a joke. It's not like the Democrats or Republicans really differ enough on important issues to matter!
Democrats: For bigger government, to help the chillins, i.e. make more handouts and create useless government charity bureaucracies.
Republicans: For bigger government, to help "defend out nation", i.e. create subsidized military jobs.
Democrats: For free trade when it's convienent
Republicans: Same
The list goes on. On pretty much every issue, the difference is very minor.
I've had enough abrasive sigs. Kittens are cute and fuzzy.
So for the left it's like-minded, for the right it's cross party (often via bribery).
If your opinions regarding every issue are the same, where is the fun?
Do you like German cars?
Politics is like religion, people will defend their views to no end because they're so deeply rooted. It would be better to stay same party if anything. But love is still blind and it could affect decision making.
You are looking for someone to screw. Don't foul your nest.
Fsck the other party.
--Phillip
Can you say BIRTH TAX
>The poll found that 57 percent were open to >marrying someone who holds political opinions >significantly different from their own.
And given the success rate of American marriages, I sure as hell trust that 57% to know what a healthy relationship requires.
All I know is that the wishy-washy political fence sitters that say they can "understand both sides" deserve to be married to each other. And they deserve the divorce and the messed up kids that follow.
I wish some people would at least get informed and take a stand for once in their pathetic, non-confrontational lives.
If moderation could change anything, it would be illegal.
I don't see why anybody else can't cross political lines for love...
(This is politics?)
There are a lot of nay sayers on this board but I've gotta say a lot of these sites are having great restuls.
LemonParty for one has added a special section to their site for political junkie hook ups. It seems that when people are so like minded where their political passions are concerned, that dating almost becomes easy.
It sure makes it easy to find things to talk about.
It only a matter of time before they are both laying in a shared pool of blood.
I'm quite honestly stunned thet have lived this long. I figured they would murder each other long ago.
It is my understanding that many male voters prefer female voters who straddle both sides of this particular issue.
You will never find someone that agrees with you on every issue you have an opinion on. You need to at least respect each others viewpoints if only in the sense of "well with your background that your opinion on X is logical." Empathy for each other is essential, empathy for people your partner doesn't know can be seen as a character flaw, but need not be fatal one. If one of you tries to help business people and the other homeless people, it can be viewed as each of you persuing a different career, which can be a boon to a relationship by reducing your competitive impulse with each other. Over time any distain you have for each other's interest groups will dissipate as you exchange stories wrongs committed against each group.
There are, of course, character flaws you can't live with, I discovered to my surprise that one ex-partner hated asians. As an engineer, half my friends were asians. She made exceptions for my friends and her one asian friend as 'good asians' but that just wasn't enough for me. I don't think I could date someone who planned to vote for Bush, simply because I don't think you could hold that opinion and still be well informed or care about anything that I did. I could be wrong, maybe someone could fundamentally distrust Kerry for some valid reasons, and somehow consider Bush the lesser evil.
People always have the deepest hatred for those who are similar but slightly different from themselves. I see the difference between Democrats and Republicans as similar to the difference between Catholics and Protestants - while they have many superficial differences (and some more deep structural ones, in this case much more significant than the structural differences between the political parties), they accept the same framework and share a similar worldview.
This "polarization" in politics we're always hearing about is just another example. Dems and Republicans have a lot more in common than either would like to admit (I of coarse would be ashamed to consider myself either one).
----
This concludes our transmission to Oceania.
I expect that it would be hard to find a mate who differed on substantial social issues, such as abortion, firearms, tolerance, and religious-moral grounds.
However, if the differences are fiscal, than you can simply live life together and lobby your representatives differently.
Methinks that Christian conservative GOPers and Peacenik Dems might not work out so easily, but fiscally minded folks would hardly notice.
Support a few technologists in Washington.
As for my own story, I married a lovely woman from another party who had almost the same views as I do on everything except school vouchers. We then spent a brief period together in the libertarian party (in support of a mutual friend and no-chance lt. gubernatorial candidate.) No problems so far. Many suppers are spent discussing politics, but it all comes down to candidates rather than ideas.
In fact, now that we live in North Dakota where there is no formal voter registration, perhaps we'll both join BOTH major parties.
Trying to use sarcasm in text-based forums does not work.
For example, I couldn't have a long-term relationship with my girlfriend if she is pro death-penalty or very religious.
:)
But only these fundamental philosophical issues are important for me. Disagreement on other topics is good because you have things to discuss endlessly
Of course, few philosophical premisses already lead to consent on many daily political topics.
OTOH, if all you want is sex, it probably doesn't really matter.
My guess is that the typical Slashdot reader already has a limited selection of the opposite sex to choose from. Do they really want to limit it even more? :)
What about libertarians? Chicks dig us!
Oh wait...
Latewire
Do what you will. Date who you will. If you wish to only date/seek relations with people of your own mindset that is your choice. How I personally react is, limiting yourself to one side is cutting off your expereince in life, and essentially stagnating the way you think.
When my girlfriend starts argueing her pro gay marriage pro animal rights viewpoints, I get the impression she is a tool for some billionaire running for president. I can't convince her that killing fetuses is evil, our dogs are happy dogs and fish tastes good to eat. She doesn't like fish. I tried to get her to take a bite of my tuna sandwich one time and I almost made her cry. She cries a lot though. Maybe a conservative girl wouldn't cry so much, and she would make me tuna fish sandwiches everyday. I wonder how well she could handle a trip around the world in a sail boat (one of my life goals) if all we ate every day was fish. This is serious food for thought.
"What the superior man seeks is in himself; what the small man seeks is in others."
- Confucius
If your hot young liberal wife starts to turn Republican with age, you're not going to get your *ahem* needs met like you did before you got married.
-I like my women like I like my tea: green-
GWB is an old frat boy who's never had to work an honest day's work his entire life. He doesn't know the first thing about fiscal responsibility. He is a flagrant liar. He has increased the size of the federal government. He is not what his constituents think he is. All I can gather is that he pays lip service to being a "strong Christian", and most Republicans are stupid enough to buy it.
How is it that Republicans can be made to buy this bullshit so easily?
This is not to say anything different is true of Democrats. I don't know as many Democrats.
Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken - Tyler Durden
I hope this was supposed to be a joke.
I married a very nice woman who just isn't interested in politics much at all. Mostly we're on the same page, but she just doesn't have the interest I do. This is a bit frustrating because I'd like to engage in the issues a bit more, be active in a party, maybe run for office someday. We differ somewhat on a few issues, and it makes conversations tense if they come up in a meaningful discussion. If we were both apolitical these differences wouldn't matter much; we'd just disagree but there wouldn't be friction.
I mostly agree with what some other posters have said. Social issues are probably the most important to work out with a potential mate. Those are the things that you live by. Fiscal issues are less important; as long as you can agree on how to run your personal finances you can disagree on the gov't stuff. Unless you plan on being politically active. It's hard to take the time to do this sort of thing without the support and approval of your mate. Then it's much more important to make sure you agree on the issues that are important to you, and also that s/he approves of political endeavors.
I think people should spend as much time discussion political compatibility as they do religious or lifestyle compatibility. How you feel about "issues" is just as important as how you feel about $deity or how you feel about housekeeping/sex/family/etc. If you're going to live with this person, you need to be compatible in the areas that come up in normal life, and politics is certainly one of them.
Constitutionally Correct
If they wanna piss each other off (as married couples are want to do sometimes...) they can do it through their work and get everybody involved in their sniping contest...
hmmm... wait a second...
Wow. politics AND dating in the same story on slashdot. Let the juvenille degeneration begin...
The key is not opinions, it's values. One key, rather, because there's more to a successful relationship than just shared values. Core values can be interpreted differently, leading to different opinions; values and opinions can also be acted upon (or not) in different ways.
Shared values are important, though, both in my experience and in the analyses I've read. Other key factors: compatible fighting style, "givers" vs. "takers" (should be matched at the very least, but as a giver myself, I don't tend to think much of takers), activity level, degree of adherence to one's supposed principles, and sexual compatibility. And yes, I'm leaving "similar interests" out deliberately; probably nowhere near as important as those I've mentioned.
Cheers!
Corruptissima re publica plurimae leges.
A few years after that I happened to be lecturing at a conference that had Timothy Leary as the guest keynote speaker. Prior to the talks I ran into him and told him that story... he responded "isn't it wonderful that they could be together and have such differing views".
Aloha
There are plenty of real-life examples of party crossovers among couples. Such as:
- Democratic adviser
James Carville and his wife, Republican adviser Mary Matalin.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver.
- John Kerry and Theresa Heinz-Kerry. (Zing! Heinz-Kerry was married to a Republican senator before he died, and made public deragatory comments about Democrats back then)
The most important thing is that you have more important things in your life than politics, that you can discuss politics with your S.O. without getting enraged, and that you both have a good sense of humor to take the gentle barbs that are sure to be shot back and forth.
(I'm a Libertarian and just started dating a Democrat, if you're interested in labels.)
Ironically, the word ironically is often used incorrectly.
I dunno. I pretty much hate everyone. I'll let you know when/if I find a girl with a brain. People tell me i'll be searching for quite a while.
I wonder if anyone else read this as a political website where singles can meet mr or ms right... or left... hand.
I thought the internet already had a million of these websites. I get emailled new ones each day.
Good luck with this...This is completely false. This is not a sig.
Led by John Hlinko, one of the people behind the liberal group MoveOn.org (http://www.moveon.org), ActForLove's motto is "Take Action. Get Action."
Priceless!
---If you can't trust a nerd, who can you trust?
Dating outside your party has one possible benefit. A benefit the Republican Party and Bush has used quite effectively over the past four years. Bush: problems at home jobs high gas prices eroding education Solution: focus outside your home terrorism, Osama, Saddam, you're either with us or against us, evil U.N. Same goes with a Dem and Rep dating, for example. Problem at home: money job loss poor sex life focus outside the home: I lot my job because you're a Republican We have a poor sex life because you're a democrat You see, there's always value in the red herring...
That was too funny... :D
Is Capitalism Good for the Poor?
What about dating sites for "fringe" political views? i.e., for Libertarians, socialists, greens, marxists, paleocons, etc.?
I would like to see a libertarian dating site, but AFAIK, none exist. I know it doesn't help that as a straight male, like 95% of all libertarians are men, but still...
Is Capitalism Good for the Poor?
Does it count as crossing party lines if you're a Libritarian and your girlfriend has no party affiliation? If so I'm breaking major ground. What's the point of a girlfriend if you can't argue, anyway?