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Do You Thrive or Crack Under Pressure?

Flatline5150 writes "The New York Times has a good article on why some people thrive under stress while others crack under pressure. Among other tidbits, pessimists make great lawyers..."

34 of 382 comments (clear)

  1. First read that as....... by thewldisntenuff · · Score: 5, Funny


    Do You Thrive on Crack?

    -thewldisntenuff

    1. Re:First read that as....... by savagedome · · Score: 5, Funny

      To quote Dennis Leary "I will never do a drug named after part of my ass".

      Amen.

  2. I love stress by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny


    Pressure doesn't bother me, in fact I thrive on it.

    My district manager just left my office after telling me that a huge project due for completion in January 2006 has been pushed forward. It's now due at 4:30 today. "No biggee," I said "is there anything else you WANT YOU MOTHERFUCKER?!"

    Everyone handles stress differently. Tonight, long after the project fails, I'll go to my district manager's house and burn it down. Then I'll urinate on his smouldering crisp remains while screaming "HOW'S THIS FOR A FUCKING 4:30 DEADLINE, COCKSUCKER?!"

    Most people would really crack at this stage. Not me. Tommorrow I'll come into work with a chainsaw. The first to get it will be the bleach blonde fat bitch at reception who always pronunces my name wrong. Then will be the district manager. He's only there through nepotism. Hopefully he will not have heard about how his uncle's charred, urine-soaked remains were found that morning. I expect to remove his spleen through his anus with my 18" McCulloch WoodMeister2000.

    This is the point where the men are separated from the boys.

    After a relaxing cup of coffee in the blood splattered cafeteria I'll quietly go the front grass of the building and stomp earthworms in my bare feet while awaiting the police. Little do they know that I'll have sticks of dynamite under my light jacket ready to go at the press of a thumb.

    I'll show them.

    det burg was here

    1. Re:I love stress by halivar · · Score: 5, Funny

      Steve, I saw you through my blinds typing this comment. Steve, I pay you $6.50 an hour to work, not post on Slashdot.

      Get back to work. You've still got that 4:30 deadline to meet.

      PS: I'm out of the office for the rest of the day to go golfing with your wife.

  3. It's simple by teamhasnoi · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thrive on crack under pressure.

  4. Under pressure... by halivar · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm under the impression I would compress. Might be messy, though.

    Seriously, if you don't give me a deadline of tomorrow, it doesn't get done. Period. (Why am I employed? I don't get it.)

  5. When I'm under preassure by russint · · Score: 2, Funny

    Crack seems to help a lot

    --
    ^^
  6. When I am under severe pressure by IWantMoreSpamPlease · · Score: 4, Funny

    I make diamonds

    (geology joke, carry on)

    --
    So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
    1. Re:When I am under severe pressure by Hobadee · · Score: 4, Funny

      Comon man, haven't you taken physics? Pressure = heat. Thats why hell is exothermic!

      Oh yea, and to get the diamonds you would have to stick coal up your arse. That's pretty nasty dude.

      --
      ...Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror, and you would not have been informed.
  7. Hmmm, as for me... by orulz · · Score: 1, Funny

    I've always considered myself the kind who just... cracks, pressure or no. Kinda sucks when it just "goes off" while I'm watching TV or something.

    1. Re:Hmmm, as for me... by Tackhead · · Score: 2, Funny
      > I've always considered myself the kind who just... cracks, pressure or no. Kinda sucks when it just "goes off" while I'm watching TV or something.

      That sounds like it would suck. Of course, I wouldn't know, because I'VE NEVER EXPERIENCED ANYTHING LIKE THAT, YOU INSENSITIVE CLOD! :)

  8. Crack or thrive? by Whatthehellever · · Score: 3, Funny

    I don't know... I see a high pressure situation and make myself scarce. Let some other sucker handle it.

    --

    ---
    IMHO, of course.
    May the SOURCE be with you.
  9. Re:Wrong choice by damned_in_davis · · Score: 2, Funny

    crack is just coke under pressure.

    --


    "why you tattoring fan sucked doo belly - i have to go buy something to strike you with... excuse me."
  10. Re:Hidden talent. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    oooo! new acronym! IANALBIAP
    "i am not a lawyer, but i'm a pessimist!"

    holy crap i'm a dork...

  11. Re:Best line in the article... by StalinsNotDead · · Score: 5, Funny

    When people start feeling that what they're doing is not meaningful, then they take more sick days, begin looking for another job, and complain of health problems.

    and read, post, moderate, metamoderate, and generally interact more on slashdot.

    --
    Thanks to the internet, we can now all die alone together! -SomeWoman
  12. Re:Thrive by ameoba · · Score: 2, Funny

    But you can still manage to get posts on Slashdot within the first 5min of a story being posted...

    --
    my sig's at the bottom of the page.
  13. I love pressure... by lothar97 · · Score: 4, Funny
    and I'm also an optimist. I guess that means I won't thrive as a lawyer.

    I am an underemployed lawyer, and silly me thought it was the terrible hiring market for lawyers. I guess the other underemployed lawyers I know are also too optimistic as well.

    On a side note, there is indication that some lawyer functions might be off-shored in the near future, so I've got that to be optimistic about as well. Nothing like have Gurpreet in India writing your legal briefs.

    --

  14. Re:Get some PRIORITIES! by themoodykid · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well, that's a vote for "Cracks under pressure."

  15. I must dispute one claim by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Among other tidbits, pessimists make great lawyers...

    I wanted to be a lawyer, but I didn't think it wouldn't work out.

  16. Only in America by unformed · · Score: 2, Funny

    would cocaine not be strong enough.
    Only in America, would someone need to make a drug that makes your head explode as soon as you smoke it. -- Dennis Leary

  17. Re:Let's just put it this way: by MCZapf · · Score: 2, Funny

    If you leave it to the last minute, it will only take a minute to do!

  18. Re:I guess I'm in the middle by macrom · · Score: 4, Funny

    You know, the pressure is much easier to handle when you take Xanax and Lexapro together. Oxycontin works well, too, as does Hydrocodone. If your doctor won't prescribe any of these, just make a few posts with a legitimate e-mail address on Usenet and you'll have several offers for acquiring these handy "pressure pills" delivered to your inbox within days.

  19. Re:Best line in the article... by Peldor · · Score: 2, Funny
    "GET TO WORK. You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams." -despair.com

    This should be required reading for all workers.

  20. Re:Best line in the article... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    "When people start feeling that what they're doing is not meaningful, then they take more sick days, begin looking for another job, and complain of health problems."

    This should be required reading for all managers.
    I disagree. It has too many syllables, and not enough buzzwords. Back to the drawing board.
  21. Missing third option by standsolid · · Score: 4, Funny

    I strive under pressure when I'm on crack. Which is daily.

    --
    WTPOUAWYHTTOTWPA
    What's the point of using acronyms when you have to type out the whole phrase anyways?
  22. Re:Differing kinds of pressure. by pizza_milkshake · · Score: 2, Funny

    i also have ADD and i have trouble stayi

  23. Re:There's the reverse as well by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm like that too, so I keep up the pressure: on top of my day job as a perl programmer, I'm in lawschool (getting my bachelor this year) and recently started learning Japanese.

    Oh great. Another lawyer who speaks
    perl in Japanese.

    Just what the world needs.

    #@#$^!)(#!

  24. Re:Do Pessimists make Better Programmers? by tool462 · · Score: 3, Funny
    I've had to fix an awful lot of bugs in programs written by optimists.

    Thanks :). I swear I'll start testing my code one of these days.

  25. The Real /. effect by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    I find that at my current job, I'm bored and feel like I'm pretty much wasting my time

    Which explains why you're, uh, we're both posting to /.? And why everyone else is reading it?

  26. Re:You want to get FIRED? by FCAdcock · · Score: 3, Funny

    ::Waves hand:: This is not the job you are looking for.

    --
    --Forest C. Adcock--
  27. Re:Best line in the article... by seafoodforklift · · Score: 4, Funny

    Some people can do that. It's a function of one's biological clock, I guess. I think Margaret Thatcher ran the UK on three hours of sleep a night - which explains a lot.

  28. Re:Get some PRIORITIES! by kraada · · Score: 2, Funny

    Personally, I'm more a fan of "Back Door Sluts 9" than I am a fan of "Cracks Under Pressure" . . . but then, maybe that's just me . . .

  29. Re:Thrive by ArbitraryConstant · · Score: 2, Funny

    There's a fine line between "laziness" and "efficiency". Only when you feel the flame clasping at your toes do you work to your full potential, finishing a project that might otherwise have taken weeks in one frenzied all nighter.

    I learned this in university, I perfected it at work. I am laughing on the inside every time I get a good performance review, and I always pray they won't notice the SSH tunnel to my proxy server at home.

    --
    I rarely criticize things I don't care about.
  30. Re:Yup. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    > Nope, none of these were connected.

    Except by your REFUSAL TO DIE, DAMMIT!

    I'll get you next time, I swear.