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Home Defense, Geek Style?
Yo Maing writes "So my mom got lives alone, and got her car broken into last night. We have a motion sensor light in the driveway, and the car has an alarm but apparently both of these deterrents were ineffective. Crime has been rising around her neighborhood, and only action the police can take is to file a report. So I ask you, Geeks of Slashdot, what tricks do you guys have to defend yours and your loved ones homes against crimes like this? Not looking for anything that would get someone injured, but more in the area of detection and repulsion. Anyone have a holographic Yeti generator to scare away intruders? :)"
Buy a gun.
First I would suggest watching Home Alone 1. That kid is pretty damn clever and easily fended off joe pesci and that ugly guy. Next I would buy an outdoor webcam with some motion detection software.
I wait on the roof dressed in all black with my ninja sword.
That's worked pretty well for a few years.
How could I say to men: "Speak louder, shout! For I am deaf!"? -Ludwig van Beethoven
I live on an air force base. No problems. :)
Guns. Lots of guns.
Geek it up some by controlling the shotgun trap with an old pentium running BSD.
Curb CO2 emissions: Kill yourself today!
drive a yugo
the extra "got" in his first sentence. Now everybody move along now.
I'm a minister!
How bout a full sized cardboard cut-out of goatse in the front hallway? I'd run....
http://request-header.info
netfilter.
...you mean you don't live at home?
... 10 guage loaded with rock salt seems to do the trick for me.
filter: +3. Hey, look! all the trolls went away!
Oh, so -that's- what it is. Thanks, until now I've been too afraid to bust in there and take his DVD player.
I line my house with slashdot trolls and a few penguins! Keeps even the most dangerous perps at bay!
Fuzdout
..My sig ran away. Has anyone seen my sig?
Car alarms are based on proximity? I thought they were just on a timer, set to go off at 3am.
I'm not kidding. Watch geese make a whole lot of noise when they spot an intruder, and they're aggressive, too. They also have the effect of confusing the hell out of some would-be criminals.
By reading this you acknowledge that you have read it.
Analogies don't equal equalities, they are merely somewhat analogous.
Dogs are for weenies. What you really want is a guard baboon. Seriously, who's going to mess with this?
NOTE: The baboon will not wear diapers.
Too agressive. The last one we elected, invaded Iraq on some rather flimsy evidence of WMDs.
I mean, who's going to mess with your pet cougar, or puma?
What is the robbing of a bank, compared to the founding of a bank? -- Bertolt Brecht
You calling me stupid? I'll bust a cap in yo ass!
"Have you ever thought about just turning off the TV, sitting down with your kids, and hitting them?"
Please. That's kids stuff!
:-)
What you really need for an effective deterrent is a 110,000 volt, 30 barrel taser gattling gun. More details here. Choice quote:
"Most spectators experience some degree of sinus discomfort after several firings, due to the high brissance of the plasma explosion."
Hah. I'll bet they do.
Whoever designed level 61 in Frozen Bubble is a sadistic bastard.
"Guns don't kill you - rappers do."
When you're sleeping, those aren't particularly effective. ;-)
But the NRA and CRPA bumper stickers (and the "I'd rather be hunting" license plate frame) on the car in the driveway IS. B-)
In particular, the burglars that were working their way down our street a few years back skipped two houses - the retired cop two doors up (whose son had similar stickers) and ours.
Current neighborhood has a couple gangs trying to move in. They've intimidated witnesses - with both minor and major vandalism - elsewhere on our block. They have NOT done that to OUR place. B-)
Closest they came is when their spokesthug came buy and asked the wife (an NRA-certified fireams / personal-protection instructor B-) who smokes on the front porch and watches neighborhood goings-on) whether she was worried about attacks or breakins. She said, no, she'd just shoot anybody who tried to attack her. But wasn't she worried about her guns being stolen while she was gone? No, because the firesafe weighs too much to steal without special equipment.
Been here over 5 years, no problems so far. B-)
Bantam Dominique roosters crow a four-note song. Once you've heard it as "Happy BIRTHday" you can't NOT hear it that way
Hmmm - his UID is 1029 (that's frigging ancient), his name is Wyatt Earp, and his web site is bloodshed.org.
I would take gun advice from him, ayup!
Glonoinha the MebiByte Slayer
Better yet, you can mount some ninjas in those turrets.
THAT would be cool.
No no no. A gun would work in the 80s. Now criminals have stinger missiles and humvee mounted machine guns. You'll never outgun them.
Just get a giant wobbling sculptured cock at your front step. Any criminal walking by will be reminded of Clockwork Orange, and they'll say "Cool" and walk away.
Stinking of cheap cologne, hairspray and marijuana smoke probably goes a long way towards keeping people off of you as well. Add to that your primered 1984 Iroc Camaro with non-matching wheels leaking oil in the driveway, and you have a perfect front. Nothing to steal here, keep moving. As a matter of fact, if anyone breaks in, they'll probably get robbed instead, or at the very least get a contact high.
Old school stoners are still the scariest kind.