The Space Elevator - Public or Private?

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The Space Elevator - Public or Private?

Posted by michael on Tuesday September 21, 2004 @05:25AM from the deep-pockets dept.

AtomicGoat writes "The Space Review reports that a Space Elevator may not get built without help from the U.S. Government, but the notion that 'the DoD can also provide a sense of fiscal discipline when dealing with large, expensive programs' sounds like an Onion story. Right now a small private company (Liftport), not NASA or the Air Force, is in the lead on revolutionary space travel."

8 of 445 comments (clear)

Sorry by Anonymous Coward · 2004-09-21 05:26 · Score: 4, Funny

Not public or private. I like my variables protected.
Re:Sight seeing by Jakhel · 2004-09-21 05:31 · Score: 5, Funny

I dare you to drop a penny off of the top.
What it might be like ... by YetAnotherName · 2004-09-21 05:35 · Score: 4, Funny

Private: the elevator attendant (a Valued Associate) is your Customer Interface to the Space Elevator. The individual is in his/her teens, wears plenty of Company Issued "Flair," and beams incessantly as you say at what altitude you want your spacecraft released.

Public: the elevator attendant (a Civil Servant) only grudgingly speaks to you. The individual, dressed in a simple brown uniform, is in upper middle age, and won't release your spacecraft from the elevator without a 29B/6 form that's been stamped.
*Ding Ding* by XaviorPenguin · 2004-09-21 05:36 · Score: 5, Funny

*ding ding*

2,756,234th Floor, Troposphere; Hardware, Automotive, and Lawn & Garden

Please watch your step as you exit and Thank You very much for shopping at Wal-Mart.

--
Friends help you move...
REAL Friends help you move dead bodies... ^_^
Re:Governments will be involved by mr_z_beeblebrox · 2004-09-21 05:48 · Score: 4, Funny

it's natural to assume that they will also want to oversee construction and whatnot, just to make sure Things Are Done Right.

"President Bush...what an unexpected surprise!"
"We can dispense with the pleasantries, commander. I am here to get you back on schedule"
"My lord, my men are working as fast as they can. Dick Cheney asks the impossible of us""
"Perhaps you can tell that to him personally when he arives"
Cue the imperial march
A few more bits by edremy · 2004-09-21 05:52 · Score: 5, Funny

Private: When you call to find out why you got released at 50 miles altitude rather than geosync, you're treated to 20 minutes of "Press 1 if need help finding the space elevator, press 2 if you need..." interspersed with a "Best of ABBA" tape. Upon listening to your problem, the help desk staff will ask you to make sure your guidance computer is plugged in. Shortly after this you crash and die horribly. The drone on the other end of the line continues by asking "Is the flight yoke attached?"
Government When you call to find out why you got released at 50 miles altitude rather than geosync from the Halliburton(tm) Space Elevator, your call has a bunch of mysterious clicks in the background before being cut off entirely. After you die horribly in the crash, it's announced that you were a terrorist who crashed the elevator deliberatly. The president goes on to bomb Syria, even though you'd never even been there.

--
"Seven Deadly Sins? I thought it was a to-do list!"
Re:"May not get built without help from U.S. Gov.. by fenris_23 · 2004-09-21 06:07 · Score: 5, Funny

Tell that to the victims of the previous attempt at a space elevator. That is what everybody is imagining.
Re:Sight seeing by meringuoid · 2004-09-21 08:05 · Score: 4, Funny

I dare you to drop a penny off of the top.
And then watch it go sideways.

--
Real Daleks don't climb stairs - they level the building.