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Chimp Can Hack Diebold Electronic Voting System
rbuysse writes "A million monkeys can write Shakespeare, but it only takes one to mess up an election. Scoop here." Blackboxvoting is behind this demonstration; there's also a lengthy thread on the Bugtraq mailing list.
"I can not bring myself to believe that if knowledge presents danger, the solution is ignorance" - Isaac Asimov
Is that chimp one of the Diebold engineers?
A new denial of service attack is spreading through the wild. It involves hurling feces...
A million monkeys can write Shakespeare, but it only takes one to mess up an election.
I'm a proud Bush voter, You insensitive clod!
Sigs are for the weak.
Final_Results.Mdb
Look for this attatchment on the Electoral College's Outlook Express inbox.
If you think
That's why the liberal media, like Fox, is reporting on it.
"saves vote totals in Microsoft Access"
Hey, at least its accurate advertising
"State elections officials also said Wednesday that they are confident they can protect the system from a decidedly lower-tech threat.
:P
Elections administrator Linda Lamone said" that monkeys will be prevented from accessing the machines during the elections.....
The good thing is that even though a monkey can hack the system this still puts the hack out of the reach of the average Republican ;)
But I guess Chimp hacks Access Database isn't really news.
I clicked on the monkey story, I wouldn't have clicked on any of the others except for the one that says "Turkey", then I would realize it isn't about the yummy bird and close it.
If I wanted to be up-to-date on the war on terrorism, Irak or whatever I would watch CNN, but I want to know about Monkeys so I read Slashdot.
My humble suggestion, stop submitting political stories and start looking for monkey stories. A turkey story would be nice too.
Obligatory monkey story:
I like Monkeys
The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.
I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour. Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. God damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.
I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed. I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortuantely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.
I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed.
The odor wasn't improving. I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys.
(DISCLAIMER: I am not the author of this story.)
--- I w00t, therefore I'm l33t.
beowulf cluster of chimps could do.
I think we've found the culprit
Click here or a puppy gets stomped!
I mean, really. They practically have a button that says "Press to Hack Election."
I would rather be killed by a terrorist than enslaved by my government.
"1. Citizen. Before w ZgJ 8GPxwFnwvG&iX4tKfo("2ny!3Pp..."
I bet the rest of that is just Danish l33t speak or something...
In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
When asked about the chimp hacking their voting machine a Diebold spokesman shrieked loudly, barred his teeth and threw feces at the offending reporters.
That's our life, the big wheel of shit. - The Fat Man, Blue Tango Salvage