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Xybernaut Patents Collar Computer
igargoyle writes "Wearable Computer manufacturer, Xybernaut, has encouraged the kludge that is the patent office by patenting collar based wearable computers. Besides being extremely vague, the whole thing sounds likes the Slashdot article, 'A Linux Machine For Your Collar.' There are many references to this idea, and computer collars have been used as nomadic radios and animal tracking devices before. Please help encourage this company to stop wasting taxpayer's money and encourage innovation instead of preventing it."
...sounds awfully much like the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation to me. Need I say more ?
Slashdot: stuff for news, nerds that matter, matter for news, stuff that nerd
The obvious response would be to patent a computer integrated into a thong. The antenna for wireless connectivity could run up the buttstrap. The computer itself could network with other thong computers to guage compatible sexual responses to social interactions, could be used to time fertility for female wearers, and include new and innovative video game controller mechanisms.
...Nothing interesting here. Just move along...
- The ankle computer!
- Using a thermos can on the beach.
- The breast pocket wallet (rather than one carried in a pant pocket).
My brilliance is unmatched, surely.
I have also patented the bathroom break, so pony up or plug it up!
If construction was anything like programming, an incorrectly fitted lock would bring down the entire building...
. . .thats like trying to patent shoes!
Exactly! They think they're so smart, but I'm ahead of them. I have the patent on the collar and they'd damned well better call me for a colicensing deal or I'll see their arses in court.
I've got lapels, plackets and cuffs too, so they shouldn't get to thinking they can pull a fast one that way.
I couldn't get shoes though. Nike already had that one. The bastards.
KFG
Is this a serious patent or are they all like that ?
and
What are this companies GPS coordinates?
The trouble with this is that if the company HQ isn't afloat somewhere its going to result in the navy dropping heavily armed HALO dolphins downtown again, and muttering something about acceptable losses.
Eclectic beats from Leeds, UK
handmadehands.co.uk
Almost. The fist sentence actually says "We know very well how to do jobs." The summary of the second is: "But we won't do them." (Because if the knowledge and know-how is all they are about, then they are not about actually doing anything).
The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
Didn't some cartoon character already have that?
Can you consider a cartoon character prior art?
There are two types of people in the world: Those who crave closure
I have patented the "fanny pack pocket protector", a device which prevents any embarassing ink stains from appearing in those delicate difficult to clean areas.
This opens new opportunities for Jean-Marie Pfaff !
(Belgian inside joke)
Woooooo! Bring back the 70's and 15" collars!
Look no further than Dr Theopolis and Twiki!
Well they were until Slashdot pointed out that you've patented something ridiculous... now there isn't a nerd in the world who accepts anything you do. Good luck fellas!
Get your Unix fortune now!
Is a "war fighter" what used to be called a "soldier"?
You were mistaken. Which is odd, since memory shouldn't be a problem for you
To quote the patent,
The preferred and optimumly preferred embodiments of the present invention have been described herein...
Does the use of "optimumly" invalidate the patent? Or is the invention of this word covered under the same patent?
- Shoes.
- Shoelaces.
- Undergarments.
- Trousers (in any form)
So either you owe me obscene amounts of money, or your coworkers are having a laugh.Cease and desist! I own the patent for this. It's what I call CrackNet.
I had problems figuring out how to power it without the lithium ion batteries burning the sensitive skin on the backside, so I use kinetics -- cheeks rubbing together produces an amazing amount of energy. There's a thin wire, like a bra underwire, that runs through the top that's connected to an 802.11g card.
The biggest problem is positioning the computer so it doesn't make women's butts look big.
Get a free iPod...learn how here: freeipods.com
The problem with waiting for a system to collapse in its own absurdity is that often it stubbornly stays up. Even worse when you try to hurry said collapse by adding absurdities, as you sometimes wind up having benefitted your opponent. It's like trying to shift into a throw in a fight to unbalance your opponent and finding that they're quite happy with you moving in that direction and would like to help you accelerate just a bit more on your way to the floor.
This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
Now, if I can just arrange the words ethernet, sniffer, promiscuous in some logical fashion...
Blearf. Blearf, I say.
Boy, this sounds like something out of a comic book to me.