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New Bin Laden Tape Surfaces

Posted by michael on from the bullseye-on-his-back dept.

An anonymous submitter writes "Osama bin Laden delivered a new videotaped message in which he told Americans their security does not depend on the president they elect, but on U.S. policy. 'Your security is not in the hands of Kerry or Bush or al Qaeda.'"

4 of 482 comments (clear)

  1. Gee.... by GreyWolf3000 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Your security is not in the hands of Kerry or Bush or al Qaeda.'"

    Let me be the first to breathe a huge sigh of relief.

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  2. Al Jazeera did not translate one phrase properly by vandelais · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Ashlee Simpson and her band of infidels had failed Americans with her Saturday Night Live performance, deceiving the nation and putting it at risk from further al Qaeda strikes", bin Laden said. The speech was his clearest claim yet of responsibility for the Sept. 11 strikes of 2001.

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  3. Re:Osama makes more sense than either Bush OR Kerr by rmohr02 · · Score: 4, Funny
    Just read what the man said. He makes sense. I trust him more than Bush or Kerry.
    Regardless of your opinion on the matter, I don't think I'll be writing in bin Laden come Tuesday.
  4. I bet ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
    The total length of the tape received by the U.S. government is 18 minutes. Bin Laden spoke for 14 minutes and 39 seconds. U.S. officials would not comment on what else is on the tape.

    I bet the rest of the tape was:
    • The pwnage theme song
    • Footage of Osama reading "my pet terrorist" to some kids
    • Wild party and Osama performing his famous "the robot"
    • All your base is belong to us
    • Goatse
    • Osama doing the goatse


    Note to self; Dont attempt humour at 6 o'clock in the morning without sleep.