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IBM Retakes Fastest Supercomputer Title

Posted by michael on from the more-power dept.

dshaw858 writes "BBC News reports that IBM has unveiled its new Blue Gene/L machine. The Blue Gene project already has two of the top ten supercomputers in the world. Big news for IBM! I wonder what great things they can calculate in just seconds now... maybe I should get a stronger PGP key."

22 of 275 comments (clear)

  1. Bah by zaxios · · Score: 4, Funny

    IBM Retakes Fastest Supercomputer Title

    If their supercomputers really were that fast, they would have taken the title back earlier.

  2. Uh oh by paul248 · · Score: 5, Funny

    So, IBM is taking the "Fastest Supercomputer" title away from NEC's Earth Simulator. How can NEC stand for this obvious theft of intellectual property? I sense a lawsuit brewing...

    1. Re:Uh oh by LiquidCoooled · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yes, the RIAA are going to sue IBM for billions of dollars.

      They played one illicit mp3 at 70 teraflops.

      An RIAA spokesperson said "Playing a song at those astronomical speeds is highly illegal, it almost burnt our accountants fingers just counting the zeros!"

      --
      liqbase :: faster than paper
    2. Re:Uh oh by fbform · · Score: 3, Funny

      They played one illicit mp3 at 70 teraflops.

      Knowing the RIAA's history, they'd probably claim that it was equivalent to playing millions of MP3s at consumer PC speeds. :-)

      --
      Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  3. "has two of the top ten supercomputers" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Ah...

    Must be those 2 guys I always see playing Quake with 1ms pings.

  4. Yeah. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    But can it cook me dinner yet? Seriously how much f***ing computer power do we need to bake brownies? I can't wait to throw out my girlfriend 1.0 once they finally come up with one that doesn't put up a inpenetrable firewall in bed.

    1. Re:Yeah. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      AMD makes the only chip hot enough to bake anything.

  5. This begs the question: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Will this computer be able to beat humans at chess?

  6. Appliccations by RealProgrammer · · Score: 5, Funny
    They meant hydrodynamics, financial modeling, etc. But no mention at all of how to combat spurious lawsuits.

    In an apparent first for /. today, mo mention of robots, either.

    This is OT, but I never noticed it before - the following HTML works here:

    link to slashdot:
    <a href="/.">/.</a>
    --
    sigs, as if you care.
  7. Just remember by Raul654 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't mess with people who measure their server power in acres. :p

    --


    To make laws that man cannot, and will not obey, serves to bring all law into contempt.
    --E.C. Stanton
    1. Re:Just remember by mog007 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Can your TI read punch-cards? I THINK NOT!

      --
      Learn something new.
  8. The future of patent law has just struck me by zaxios · · Score: 4, Funny

    This brings up an enticing possibility. What if Microsoft just patented "being first"? Wouldn't that get rid of all the prior art rubbish they have to cope with with their other patents? I mean, if someone showed prior art for "feline flatulence" or whatever else is developing in Bill Gates' unfortunately windowless office, they would be infringing Microsoft's "being first" patent. This is it folks! The future!

  9. Re:Don't worry by JPriest · · Score: 5, Funny

    If people want your key so bad they will build a supercomputer this big to crack it, you have plenty other things to worry about.

    --
    Saying Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders.
  10. Oh sure by Clueless+Moron · · Score: 2, Funny

    But can it play Doom3?

  11. Penguin Power. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Big news for IBM! I wonder what great things they can calculate in just seconds now..."

    Their sales of Linux.

  12. Re:Guessing vs Gut feeling by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    butterfly effect + herd instinct + stochastic resonance with a whole lot of chaos effects thrown in.

    Wow, that's basically meaningless. Nice work!

  13. Just Imagine... by mr_don't · · Score: 1, Funny

    "A Beowulf Cluster of these!!!"

    What? No one has posted that already?

  14. I defeated your girlfriend's firewall... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny


    "...I can't wait to throw out my girlfriend 1.0 once they finally come up with one that doesn't put up a inpenetrable firewall in bed...."

    I defeated your girlfriend's firewall: I used her built-in back door.

  15. That new computer is so fast by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    it can process an infinite loop in under 3.8 microseconds.

  16. Too late by vile7707 · · Score: 2, Funny

    *snip*
    " maybe I should get a stronger PGP key."

    We've already calculated your next 250 pgp keys, and divined your future. Hint: avoid badgers.

  17. Re:Don't worry by Gil-galad55 · · Score: 4, Funny
    As my number theory prof once famously said, "There are easier ways of finding out secrets than factoring large primes."

    Well, I thought it was funny!

    --

    To follow knowledge like a sinking star, / Beyond the utmost bound of human thought. ("Ulysses", Tennyson)

  18. Re:Chaos Theory... by nwbvt · · Score: 4, Funny
    "I know what Chaos Theory is."

    No you don't. Put down the joint before you hurt someone.

    --
    Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.