Automated Sentry Robots

jimbob5 writes "New Scientist reports that you can now buy your own automated Room Defender. 'Who would like this gift? Any child, or anyone who saw the director's cut of Aliens and dreamed of owning one of those automated sentries.'" The New Scientist gift guide looks pretty useful.

Comments

I can see it now.

[Le Marteau]

Once triggered, it issues a verbal warning then fires a warning shot (a foam disc).

Oh yeah. I can see it now. How long before someone bolts their .357 to the thing, rigs up a solenoid trigger-puller set up to activate when the "foam discs" are supposed to launch.

Jehovah's witnesses might have something to worry about.

Re:I can see it now.

[billysielu]

what sort of pansy alien gets stopped by foam discs?!

Exit the room or there will be... trouble!

[mfh]

I want this! But I won't get it. We have a little one running around and I can see what would happen some early morning around 4am...

"Mommy, Daddy... I had a bad dream!"

"Exit the room or there will be... trouble!" (fires warning shots, 1/4 payload)

"AAAAARGGGGHHH!!!!! A MONSTER!!!!!" (flees, heavily pelted by nerf discs)

"You were warned! Have a good day and stay out of... trouble."

"ZZzzzzZZZzzZZZZZzzzZZZ" (mom & dad (in unison))

"Waaaaaaahhhhhh" (cries to sleep)

On second thought... that could make for some interesting Skinner experiments where we actually get to sleep for a whole night! Although the little one might not get to sleep at all, living in fear of the menacing turret monster. Hey maybe this could breed a new form of learned Tourette's Syndrome?? I mean what else is going to happen after being pelted by a nerf turret living in your parent's room for your whole childhood, until all you can do is swear randomly. (all the moderators with Tourette's are going to love this comment... can you imagine their reaction??? At least they won't be able to mod this down -- for a while)

Re:Exit the room or there will be... trouble!

[pete-classic]

On second thought... that could make for some interesting Skinner experiments where we actually get to sleep for a whole night! Although the little one might not get to sleep at all, living in fear of the menacing turret monster.

What an age we live in, where people try to automate traumatizing their kids.

Listen, save the money you'd spend on this thing and just beat the hell out of the kid every time he comes to your room.

I recommend a belt.

-Peter

At least make it a little (more) useful:

[Gentoo Fan]

Have it push around a vacuum cleaner while it's on patrol.

Re:At least make it a little (more) useful:

[ensignyu]

The Roomba Defender?

I've had one of these for a while...

[Rude Turnip]

I have an earlier model. The biggest change is that instead of shooting discs, it howls and then poops on the carpet.

Too cool...

[grub]

I sent that link to my gf. She has 3 cats, 2 young ones which torment an older one. The old one stays in its room most of the time while the 2 others come in to play mean. I suggested she puts one of these at the entrance to that cat's room to keep the bad ones out.

...and I want one just because it's cool :)

What about EMP?

[DeepFried]

I was going to get one of these but then realized it wouldnt take long for wife wife to figure out how to disable it with an EMP grenade.

Re:What about EMP?

[the_weasel]

I was going to get one of these but then realized it wouldnt take long for wife wife to figure out how to disable it with an EMP grenade.

Really? If you and your wife ever decide to part ways - I would be glad to meet her. That's my kind of woman.

(She will likely have to defeat my current wife in combat first....)

Defending my own room...

[Anonymous Coward]

....wouldn't be as fun as liberating my sister's room. I want a unilateral robot room liberator/democracy imposer.

Pointless

[Prince Vegeta SSJ4]

You can also program it to shoot in 'warning shot mode' where it will fire off a 1/4 of its payload, 'ambush mode' will fire off half the magazine, or 'assault mode' when it will empty it's breach completely at the unsuspecting intruder.

Why all the bloat? Just give me Assault Mode!

Can you imagine an office full of these things. Hundreds of cubicles flinging nerf discs everywhere. That is until someone figures out how to use AOL CD's as ordinance.

Re:Lame

[drinkypoo]

All you have to do is walk up and watch the foam discs bounce harmlessly off of your legs, then pillage the room. Get back to me when someone is selling one of these that launches shuriken or sharpened AOL CDs.

Re:I got to get one for the cubicle

[3770]

You seem to be at conflict with your boss. Have you ever tried watching porn together? It should bring the two of you closer together.

All Fun Now but...

[Laoping]

What happens when the super intelligent monkeys get their hands on these? Seriously people, we can defeat the monkeys and we can defeat the robots, but not at the same time!!!!!

Re:No thanks

[Ubergrendle]

Remember Family Guy?

"Present hall pass now!"
Girl timidly shows hall pass.
"PRESENT HALL PASS NOW!!!!"

Re:Target tracking?

[pclminion]

Maybe a 5-quadrant motion detector would work pretty sweet. Although it might be pretty slow.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but something seems odd about the term "5-quadrant."

Re:Saw Blades

[Anonymous Writer]

I'm getting me one and modifying it so it shoots saw blades instead of foam disks. Ain't NOBODY getting near my stack of porn!

Be very careful if you're going to be setting up shooting blades around your stack of porn. If there's any chance you forget to deactivate it when you're "in the mood", with all the blood out of your brain, you may accidentally "disable" yourself from ever using your porn again.

Re:Overreaction.

[Stone316]

Jeez, come on.. it only costs 40 bucks... For the system most of us geeks would like to have it would be:

1. cost about 500 bucks.
2. be lethal or at least be capable of inflicting injury.
3. Illegal (unless you live in Texas).