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Cube Farm

Sarusa writes "Stop me if you've heard this one: Bright, innocent, bushytailed overachiever geek, inexorably crushed by the harsh realities of corporate America, turns into paranoid shaven-headed slacker (and Church of the Subgenius minister) who sees conspiracy theories under every rock. 'Heard it?' you sneer, 'I've lived it!' So why would you want to read a book about it? Cube Farm by Bill Blunden proves that if nothing else, you can always serve as a bad example." Read on for the rest of Sarusa's review. Cube Farm author Bill Blunden pages 150 publisher Apress rating 7 reviewer Sarusa ISBN 1590594037 summary Welcome to Hell, here's your cube.

The book chronicles Blunden's travails as a fresh Cornell grad finding out his degree is useless. After waiting tables, he discovers Java is hot, and gets a job in the incredibly dysfunctional R&D department of Lawson Software, one of those companies that makes horribly dull but necessary business software. Young Blunden is shunted from one doomed project to the next as internal divisions compete with each other (and internally) for territory. The code base is millions of lines of ancient K&R C with all the comments stripped out (!) for speed of compilation. Only a few people understand the entire system to any degree, and these Illuminati crush any attempt to create or disseminate any documentation since that would erode their power base. Any projects that might threaten their monopoly are dispatched by the simple expedient of not responding to any emails or phone calls or attending meetings.

Cube Farm is written in a conversational, semi-edgy style that I found very easy to read, though occasionally annoying when it gets too hip. The subject is technical, but the theme is purely human foible, and Blunden makes an effort to make things understandable even by the non-geeky. So you don't have to be a nerd to understand the book - it would sure help you appreciate it, though.

Important characters are assigned descriptive names such as the Puppet Master, the Godfather, the Wax Master, Mike and Ike, and the Mad Hungarian. This may sound a bit cheap, but works well and makes it easy to keep track of the defectis personae. Everything is well partitioned, and Dance of Death woodcuts enliven the pages.

The obvious question, Why you would read something so horribly depressing? There are only negative lessons to be learned here. Well, in many ways Cube Farm is the informal, nasty version of what you'd get by reading books like Death March (Yourdon, 2003 2nd ed), Herding Cats (Rainwater, 2002), and Software Runaways (Glass, 1997). You can learn a lot from a bad example, like what it means if they won't say Yes or No. Perhaps it'll make you feel better about your own company, which is probably not quite this screwed up. Or there's always good ol' schadenfreude.

Would you give this book to an eager young programmer? Either it would be a bit like taking a sledgehammer to a kitten, or (more likely) it would just all cascade off, unheeded -- "obviously, this could never happen to me." For everyone else, if you've had at least one job or failed project under your belt you might find this horrifically fascinating, similar to watching Repligator. It might help with your next (knock on wood) fine project. Finally, it's a quick read, so I felt my time was well (or at least enjoyably) spent.

You can purchase Cube Farm from bn.com. Slashdot welcomes readers' book reviews -- to see your own review here, carefully read the book review guidelines, then visit the submission page.

14 of 306 comments (clear)

  1. Re:the last thing by tickticker · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well then maybe an extra few hours a day will change your mind.

    Your Boss

  2. soul of a new machine by acomj · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The tracy kidder book is quite good, about the creation of a new Data General Computer. Although that book too will likely make anyone reading it question if they want to be an engineer. Won a pulizer prize if I remember correctly.

  3. Conspiracy..bah by Prince+Vegeta+SSJ4 · · Score: 5, Funny
    turns into paranoid shaven-headed slacker (and Church of the Subgenius minister) who sees conspiracy theories under every rock.

    There really are no conspiracies, however 'THEM' is surreptitiously trying to make us believe that there are conspiracies in an effort to draw our attention away from what is actually going on. You see if I actually believed in copnsipiracies, then I would be waisting my time trying to prove said conspiracies, instead of trying to uncover the REAL truth. However, since there are no conspiracies, 'THEM' cannot conspire to create conspiracies, and therefore I do not have to waste my time trying to figure them out. Then again, if 'THEM' is trying to make us believe there are conspiracies, when there are really no conspiracies, then there is a conspiracy to creat conspiracies. Hah, they will not fool me - Since there are no conspiracies, there cannot be a conspiracy to create conspiracies, therefore I will still be able to focus on discovering the truth.

    Wheres my tinfoil hat, and my 712th printing of Catcher in the Rye, although I don't know why I need another, but I do know that I need it because it hase the new extra black ink.

  4. Everyone everywhere sucks and I am great by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Parent poster reminds me of a Tim Wilson line: been divorced four times? Hell, maybe its you.

  5. Re:Disenchantment by ltbarcly · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I doubt it. More likely you are just a prick who thinks everyone is dumb if they don't see things exactly the way you do, or if they disagree. I find it very very unlikely that you knew more than your professors in college, and then went on to a cookie cutter cube-job. Are you just that much of an underachiever? Something about your story just doesn't add up. You're smarter and more competent than everyone else, just like everybody else.

    Welcome to the world, hotshot.

    It is alot harder to be competent than to point out the incompetence of others. Noticing incompetence only requires the right knowledge on one topic at one moment in time, BEING competent requires the right knowledge/skill on every topic you deal with all the time, and the energy to actually do it.

  6. hah I'm like that by Naikrovek · · Score: 5, Interesting

    All my previous jobs have been positions where I was in control of what happened. I was the sysadmin and primary developer. I was the regional MIS Manager. etc.

    Now I work at S**** F*** and I'm just a Technical Analyst. The shock of going from ruler on-high to "cube occupation device" has been tremendously shocking.

    It took weeks to get admin rights to a machine I have physical control over. I cannot install any software on my own, under any circumstances. The only software that can EVER be installed is done remotely via SMS issuance. I do most of my coding in Notepad because I don't want to waste seven weeks on an absolute beginners Java course so that I can install WSAD.

    The rules in place here are unbelieveable. I can't even run FireFox from my USB key. (I can't use a USB key at all!)

    If Galilleo worked here he would have never discovered anything. He would waste away and the only thing he'd have to look forward to is his 30th anniversary ceremony, which lasts an entire 5 minutes.

    Now I'm becoming a conspiracy theorist.

    We buy all our software (all of it, even pay-for software) from a company of unknown origin (more on that in a second) who provides indemnification for us. We can't even use Perl unless we buy it from this company and have them provide us a binary. Same for every other common-sense utility or peice of software that I used to install with reckless abandon at my previous employers.

    This company (known as STA) charges hundreds of dollars PER LINE OF SOURCE CODE to provide indemnification, including lines that consist entirely of "}" or "{". I believe that STA has been formed by some of the higher up lawyers in S**** F*** and since they mandate that ALL software (even things like MS Windows XP) be purchased through STA, that they stand to benefit from its existance. Whoever decided to start up companies to provide indemnification against software was a genius. I wish I'd thought of that. I woudln't be a cube occupation device, I'd be a tropical beach occupation device.

    So yeah, *takes drink of 35th cup of coffee* you can say I've changed. My company has over 130k employees. I simply cannot change anything, and am forced to spend my energy coming up with reasons why I can't do the things I'm so very used to doing.

    1. Re:hah I'm like that by relaxrelax · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Been there, done that, got the "laid off but still not paid after 6 months" T-shirt!

      My boss was too busy learning to play flute to provide any leadership. Good thing too, because his leadership would be some kind of short int overflow negative.

      People got fired every 2 years to be replaced by rookie academics with no work experience. Without warning. Without documentation. All at once, so no between-company leadership could occur.

      We were not allowed to leave the company for lunch more than 2 at a time. And I got blamed for taking lunch at 11h. Go figure!

      Every file had to be labeled as written by the boss - who does not code (which made tracking who makes bugs impossible).

      The printer has a lock and the only time in 18 months I was allowed to print something, the key was in Japan with the boss promising a demo of things not implemented yet for tomorrow.

      As part of the 4th cycle of worker recyclement, I had to read code commented in 3 different language. On my first day it wouldn't compile at all!

      I've never seen a backup. Ever. My boss believes in God a bit too much...

      After being 4 years late on schedule, the boss decided to switch from C++ to C# completely. OUCH!

      This isn't cube farm. It's goto-ridden code incubation farm!

      ALL HAIL MURPHY'S LAW!

      --
      Microsoft is pure dog-ma. FreeBSD is pure cat-ma.
  7. Do what I did.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    Get a job at a college or university.

    I ended up working full-time in the IT dept of the university I graduated from. I didn't plan on, it just kind of happened. The salary isn't as good as "corporate" IT salaries, but it does have other benefits. I can take classes at the school free of charge (not counting the textbook). I can take one class a semester (3 semesters in a year) at another local college for my Masters degree, tuition free. And the benefits are pretty good to. If I had any college age kids, they could go to school tuition free here as well. All in all, a good job without the stress that seems to go hand in hand with corporate IT jobs.

  8. Re:Disenchantment by Phixxr · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Then you suddenly realized that it was you who was incompetent all along, but you were just in denial...

    -phixxr :)

    --
    ungggghhhh
  9. Re:Don't need the book by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny
    > "Would you give this book to an eager young programmer? Either it would be a bit like taking a sledgehammer to a kitten..."
    > Goodness, how graphic. If someone wants eager young programmers to knock off kittens, there are alternatives.

    Every time you post to Slashdot from work, your boss' kitten smashes a young programmer with a sledgehammer. Please, think of the young programmers.

  10. I read this book by prostoalex · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I read this book in a single setting on the airplane (Salt Lake City to San Francisco, so wasn't that long) and it was a fun one to read. It's basically an auto-biography of a guy who graduated with a degree in Physics to find out his best job opportunity was waiting tables at a local restaurant.

    The interesting thing about author's career at Lawson, as he emphasizes that in several places in the book, is that he always managed to work for departments that have never shipped a product. A lot of the time was spent in maintenance, planning, high-level design and then high-level redesign, office politics and what not.

    There's also a funny story about back-stabbing inside Lawson with some guys separating from Technology department and creating the Advanced Technology department (as if to imply that the other one is some kind of non-advanced, backward, technology).

  11. Lawson's Crappy Site by megamouse · · Score: 5, Funny
    I like how Lawson's site renders horribly (in IE as well as Firefox) and contains broken image tags.

    Witness their News tab here.

    Perhaps it's OT, but would you buy enterprise software from a company that can't even manage a web site?

    --
    apple nipple hungry
  12. A fleeting thought by asliarun · · Score: 5, Insightful

    You know, i've realized that it's easy to write sad shit, but incredibly difficult to write happy stuff. The funny thing is that most of us, at least the self-fashioned highbrows, deign to write favourable critiques only if it's depressing enough for you to slash your wrists! This penchant for despair is also something that i've been noticing in some of the /. comments and posts.

    I've been there and lived through that. I'm also sure that most of us have had our periods of depressions and frustrations too (choose your timeframe: junior school, high school, college, limbo between college and first job, stuck in a dead-end job etc.). I just want to say this, and i'm quoting here: THIS IS AS GOOD AS IT GETS.

    Jobs will never come easy, and they'll never be a perfect fit for your skills and your interests. Money'll not come easy either. As for love, heck, we're all geeks here. We'll manage to find someone if we're incredibly lucky, brave and desparate enough to go through the trial and error process, and only if we're reasonably good looking to boot! What's left? NOTHING, except for unconditional love, perhaps, if you buy a dog. Yes, this is tabula rasa and it always will be.

    What i do, or at least try to do nowadays, is to stop reading this kind of depressing garbage and just focus on the little things. The joy of coding is not to be found in managing to decipher uncommented legacy code or what have you, but in managing to decipher a gem in the uncommented legacy code. It's not sneering at the 101 coding errors that we can find in someone else's code but in finding the one inexplicable construct in someone else's code and the thrill of discovering a new thought pattern.

    Or, as the Hagakure suggests:-
    "Among the maxims on Lord Naoshige's wall there was this one: Matters of great concern should be treated lightly. Master Ittei wrote: Matters of small concern should be treated seriously."

    I'm sorry if i've completely digressed here, as this is supposed to be a book review. However, i do feel an undercurrent of depression in most posts nowadays and just wanted to share my thoughts with all of you.

  13. Lived it, litterally. by Kamelion · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I'll have to read this book. I'm an ex-Lawson employee. Laid off in 2002.

    I need to defend something here. Although Bill might have been fed another story. The K&R code base did not lack comments for compilation speed. Back in 1997 I was told that it was because the code was meant to be "self documenting", that is, it was meant to be plain enough that you didn't need comments to understand it and comments got in the way and made the code more difficult to read. Also unless you are talking Universe 2.x or earlier it wasn't K&R any more, it was a mix of ANSI and K&R. We adjusted the compiler flags on the Unix platforms to allow for the mixture of syntaxes.

    Bill might have been fed a different story though. I always added comments above functions that I went in to maintain. I was never told that I could not comment my code, just that I shouldn't litter the code with comments.

    I liked working for Lawson up until the end. Lawson started going down hill when they started focussing on their IPO. Once Lawson focussed their goals on market cap rather than producing a quality product, the company started to spiral, IMHO.

    I also feel the company lacked vision. Since '98 we had a Linux product that Lawson refused to market or offer to interested customers. I doubt it exists any more as I was the only one maintaining it when I was laid off in 2002. The last official line I got for The Godfather (if it is who I think it was) was that offering the product would offend MS and Lawson would never risk offending MS. Lawson's Web product used to be browser agnostic until some MS zelot got in control of the project and decreed that it would only work on IE. There was no real technical reason for that limitation.

    Sadly Lawson was the best employer I ever had. I came from a worse environment and the one I'm in now makes Lawson look really good. Sigh.