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Mass Transit Meets The Incredibles
Chuckstar writes "Salon.com has an article about SkyWeb Express, a futuristic-looking mass transit system similar to the monorail in the evil villain's secret lair in The Incredibles. What is unique about this system is that individual 3-passenger cars travel independently between stations, which are located on side-tracks so cars only need to stop at the final destination. Apparently, the system is relatively cheap to install, cost efficient per passenger mile, and much more flexible than traditional mass transit. The New York Post covered the topic last month."
and of course, what about having to get in the car with two muggers/rapists ? On a bus at least there are other people to help you if you get assaulted. People on the "private rape vehicle" would be pretty much S.O.L.
Hi. I live in Oakland and commute by rail every day to San Francisco. I have used three major transit systems in the past month. Please -- allow me to translate this article for you!
...
... is the beautifully eerie monorail that silently glides around the volcano
In "The Incredibles"
I proposed an article about public transportation, and was turned down flat, even at Salon.com. So I turned it into an story about a Pixar movie! Neato!
Among the creepy sci-fi elements
I saw a monorail in the movie, and would like to have one in real life. I will spend the next couple of thousand words spinning out an advertisement for monorails, glossing over the serious design flaws and social problems with the scheme. As you might expect, Salon.com will compensate me handsomly for doing so!
transporting the villain's henchmen in small round cars.
Oh sh*t, I just made monorails sound evil.
The heroes occasionally hitch a ride on one of these moving pods
See! Monorails are heroic!!!
In real life, we may not have superheroes, but soon we will have those little monorail cars, zipping commuters and shoppers (and maybe an occasional henchman)
Ho ho ho! Heroin deals on mass transit are funny! Prostitution on monorails is gloriously hilarious! Har! Har!!!!!
They're part of a system called Personal Rapid Transit, or PRT, which is poised to replace the more expensive, less environmentally friendly and frequently less convenient mass transit systems of old.
Sort of like you yourself are POISED to win the lottery!
What really makes PRT different from mass transit is that it combines the convenience and luxury of a taxi with the efficiency of subway and bus travel:
I originally wrote that PRT combines sub-bus speeds with the cost of a subway and the inconvenience of trying to hail a taxi, but my editor made me say it this way. Same diff.
Rather than packing into a large carriage with a hundred smelly strangers, with PRT you get a private car.
Instead of getting on the next train, you will wait endlessly in a Disneyland-sized line for the next available "private" car. When one comes, you will be sealed alone in a mechanically unreliable capsule with three strangers. Hopefully, they will not be in cahoots to mug or rape you.
Of course, you can avoid this fate by living in a city that generously funds the purchase of new PRT cars and the maintenance of old ones. Bwahahahahahahahhaha! Had you there, didn't I?
Instead of stopping at every station on the line, you zip straight to your final destination.
You will slog at 20 mph (I put that WAY LOW in the article). You are likely crammed into a car with three strangers with their own destinations, so prepare for a lot of stopping and waiting. At each stop, you will pick up a new stranger with a new destination.
If you are lucky enough to get your own car, you will slog until you either smoothly exit at the appropriate station or until your little rubber wheels catch at the junction and you plunge in your little plastic car forty feet to the pavement below.
And the visual impact -- replacing the bulky steel trains and buses with sleek bubbles that look like mid-century creations from the designer Arne Jacobsen -- appeals to any kid who dreamt of being a Jetson, or now, an Incredible.
This will all look really, really wicked. WICKED!
Leading the way in the PRT revolution is the Minnesota-based Taxi 2000 Corporation, founded in 1983
I, the writer, do not find it odd this idea has not caught on for more than 20 years.
After studying the problems with conventional mass transit, he developed SkyWeb Express, which is poised to be the first commercial PRT system in the world.
I, the writer, am POISED to keep using POISED, even though it is meaningless.