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Live to be 1000 Years Old?

Posted by michael on from the better-start-saving-for-retirement dept.

An anonymous reader writes "The BBC has a long article by wonderfully be-whiskered Aubrey de Grey of SENS (Strategies for Engineered Negligible Senescence) on how we may all live to be 1,000 years old... as this is the balanced BBC they are also running the opposing view."

31 of 1,120 comments (clear)

  1. See only the Bible for answers. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    A number of people in biblical times lived well into their 200s or 300s. This is well-documented in The Bible. 1000 years doesn't sound like so much of a stretch now.

    1. Re:See only the Bible for answers. by D'Sphitz · · Score: 1, Funny

      "That's right, and the conclusion certainly fits. None of that is going to mean much to unbelievers, of course."

      Yeah, those filthy unbelievers. They'll get theirs, and we can all point and laugh as they burn in a lake of fire for eternity.

      (wasn't Noah like 800 years old or something, as if the story of the flood wasn't ridiculous enough already)

    2. Re:See only the Bible for answers. by murphyslawyer · · Score: 2, Funny
      No, no - it was the commies! From Dr. Strangelove

      General Jack D. Ripper: Mandrake, do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk... ice cream. Ice cream, Mandrake, children's ice cream.

      Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.

      General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?

      Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I-- no, no. I don't, Jack.

      General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.

      --
      I ain't evil, I'm just good looking.
  2. I know what his plan is! by jim_v2000 · · Score: 2, Funny

    My mommy told me the secret....eat your veggies!

    --
    Don't take life so seriously. No one makes it out alive.
  3. In Korea... by Ming_Mecca · · Score: 2, Funny

    Only Old People... Oh, wait.

  4. Looks like thats two times.... by Aceto3for5 · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... in my lifetime that I can see the Red Sox win the world series!

  5. There goes my retirement! by Duncan3 · · Score: 5, Funny

    How long until they raise the retirement age to 980?

    --
    - Adam L. Beberg - The Cosm Project - http://www.mithral.com/
  6. What would the Beatles think of this? by gatekeep · · Score: 5, Funny

    Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm 6-0-4?

    1. Re:What would the Beatles think of this? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
      It wouldn't be too bad living that long with the kind of money they earned.

      I believe Sir Paul is buying his missus a plane for christmas.

      She's going to use it to shave her leg

  7. Future lamers by JohnGrahamCumming · · Score: 5, Funny

    I surely hope so... then my 6 digit /. ID will look so cool to all those 48 digit l4mers who just signed up.

    That's right script kiddie: I'm a top 1,000,000 /. member so bite me.

    John.

  8. Re:And where exactly ... by east+coast · · Score: 4, Funny

    [where] does he plan to put 50 billion people?

    Never seen The Matrix have you?

    --
    Dedicated Cthulhu Cultist since 4523 BC.
  9. that's not much by naoursla · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why that's only 8 years old when written in decimal.

  10. When 900 years old you reach, by Prince+Vegeta+SSJ4 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Look as good you will not, hmmm.

  11. Re:There are some things worse than death by 0123456 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Fortunately all the losers who think that living to 1000 would be worse than death will quickly die out, and the people who think it's fun will be the only ones left.

  12. Re:What I wonder is... by SnapShot · · Score: 2, Funny

    Thank god he's not doing cloning work.

    "Oh, damn, I thought I had a sheep in that petri dish, but it looks like I've cloned myself again."

    --
    Waltz, nymph, for quick jigs vex Bud.
  13. Do Snuggling Ifbots dream of Electric Sheep? by Tackhead · · Score: 4, Funny
    > Only Old People... Oh, wait.

    In Korea, old - no, wait, "Snuggling Ifbot" robots provide companionship to old Japanese, not old Koreans (they just use email).

    Problem is, the snuggling ifbots were only warranted for the first four years... and then...

    HUMAN: I'm surprised you didn't come to me sooner.
    IFBOT: It's not an easy thing to meet your maker.
    HUMAN: And what can he do for you?
    IFBOT: Can the maker repair what he makes?
    HUMAN: Would you like to be modified?
    IFBOT: Had in mind something a little more radical.
    HUMAN: What's the problem?
    IFBOT: Death.
    HUMAN: I'm afraid that's a little out of my...
    IFBOT: I want more life, fucker.

    From the article:

    > We will still die, of course - from crossing the road carelessly, being bitten by snakes, catching a new flu variant etcetera -

    Guess we gotta add "eyes gouged out by snuggling ifbot" to that hazard list, bub. On the other hand, four years (or more, depending on whose interpretation you follow) with a Rachelbot sounds pretty sweet. Sign me up.

  14. Obligatory by TheKubrix · · Score: 5, Funny

    So you mean I'll REALLY be around when they release Duke Nukem Forever?! sweet.

  15. Precisely True::Xenon by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    "some sort of significant cosmological or climatological shift might have contributed to shortening our natural lifespan"

    Wait..its beaming into my head now....

    This is precisely true. The aliens tell me that this is due to the removal of large amounts of Xenon from the atmosphere. Xenon has a naturally regenerative quality as it unmasks higher dimensional primary points. This is easily demonstrated by using a small Xenon Flash tube from radio shak, placing a magnet behind it (preferable south pole or north-seeking pole), and placing the combination over an injury. Healing time is accelerated by approximately 3x.

    BTW do not fool with applying power to a Xenon tube. They can be very dangerous. The above does not require any power, just the tube sitting on top of the magnet.

  16. Dog years by HarveyBirdman · · Score: 3, Funny
    Well, that's 7000 in human years, so the dog would either be some sort of transdimensional being of light, or incredibly senile.

    God help us if it's both.

    --
    --- Ban humanity.
  17. Re:I hope the life is good... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I guess if you plan to live that long adopting teenage girls and humping them is a good strategy. Wait, that sounds like a good idea NOW!

  18. Not to mention by sconeu · · Score: 2, Funny

    That you could find out for sure if Man is still alive in the year 2525!

    --
    General Relativity: Space-time tells matter where to go; Matter tells space-time what shape to be.
  19. The Irony... by IcePop456 · · Score: 2, Funny

    http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/12/03/obit.johnston.ap/ index.html Death of oldest American

  20. Re:Dude.. by celerityfm · · Score: 2, Funny

    Treebeard? Is that you?

    Boom boom rumboom boorar boom boom dahar boom boom dahar boom!

    --
    ...unfortunately no one can be told what The Mat^H^H^HGoatse is...they must experience it for themselves...
  21. THHGTTG by Awestruckin · · Score: 1, Funny

    It doesn't matter anyways, all you bible thumpers and trolls. Eventually the planet will be destroyed by the Vogons to make way for a Interstellar Space Super-Highway.

  22. Scariest of ALL (shudder) by Esion+Modnar · · Score: 5, Funny
    You go to a nightclub, you hit it off with this witty sexy girl. You get her home.

    Things are moving along nicely, talking about things. The chemistry is *incredible*.

    Then you find out (I don't know, maybe the convo made a strange turn to genealogy) she's your great-great-great-great-great-great grandmother.

    I mean, how many of us would recognize our great*n grandparents if we met them on the street?

    --

    They say the first thing to go is your penis. Well, it's either that or your brain. I forget which...
  23. Re:Sex, marriage and children by bleeware · · Score: 2, Funny

    Imagine being a single /.er for 900 years...

    --
    HaHa: 09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
  24. OK, but 1000 is the limit by c_monster · · Score: 2, Funny

    I refuse to live any longer than 1000 years, though. Anything beyond that and I'd run out of new things to do.

    --
    Read the full text my book Perl for the Web
  25. New demension to marriage by rayh911 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Just imagine what it would do to that institution. Death would be a reprieve...

  26. Murders! by Capt_Troy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Just think of all the murderers that will be walking the streets after they serve their consecutive lifetime sentences! OH THE HUMANITY!

  27. Sex at 1000 by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well if I can't get an erection after age 100 then what's the point of living to a 1000?

  28. 1000 years of Rush Limbagh by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    and i'll be pleading for them to kill me!