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Internet-By-Airship Scheduled For Trial Next Month

Reader ScrewTivo points to this Economist article on one of my favorite potential delivery means for high-speed Net access: stratosphere-dwelling airships. This version, from Sanswire Networks, is dubbed a "Stratellite," -- and one is scheduled to launch next month. As the submitter writes, "It's basically a blimp that thinks it's a geostationary satellite floating at 65K feet!"

20 of 257 comments (clear)

  1. Brings new meaning to connection is down by syousef · · Score: 4, Funny

    Brings new meaning to connection is down ;-)

    --
    These posts express my own personal views, not those of my employer
    1. Re:Brings new meaning to connection is down by jim_v2000 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Rather than "Oh, the humanity!", we'd have "Oh the connectivity!" as the stratelite crashes to the ground...

      --
      Don't take life so seriously. No one makes it out alive.
  2. Tech Support by MightyMartian · · Score: 2, Funny

    Support: This is Gas Bag Networks, how my I help you? Customer; Yeah, the Internet went down. Support: Can you describe the problem? Customer: The &!#!&#$ blimp crashed into my livingroom!

    --
    The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
    1. Re:Tech Support by krbvroc1 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Support: This is Gas Bag Networks, how my I help you? Customer; Yeah, the Internet went down. Support: Can you describe the problem? Customer: The &!#!&#$ blimp crashed into my livingroom!

      Support: Sir, the network appears to be fine. We have not received any reports of trouble from your area.
      Customer: I can see the blimp smoldering in my living room.
      Support: We require several people in your area to report a problem before we can open a ticket for you.
      Custumer: The blimp has crashed through my living room ceiling, I need help.
      Support: Sir, what operating system are you running?
      Customer: Why does that matter, the blimb is down. Please send someone.
      Support: Sir, are you using a router?
      Customer: Uh, yes.
      Support: Sir, could you please reset your router by unplugging it, waiting 30 seconds, and then powering it on. Please tell me when you have done this.
      Customer: What does my router have to do with the blimp crashing!!
      Support: Sir, lets try disconnecting your router completely and plugging your network directly into the BlimpoNIC.
      Customer: Listen here buddy, there is nothing wrong with my computer. Your blimp has crashed into my living room!
      Support: Sir, let me connect you to our public relations department. Before I do so, is there anything else I can help you with today?
      Customer: No!
      Support: I'm transferring you now sir.

      Click...DIALTONE

    2. Re:Tech Support by dabigpaybackski · · Score: 5, Funny

      Obviously another satisfied AOL customer.

      --
      "OH SHIT, THERE'S A HORSE IN THE HOSPITAL!"
  3. My company... by Zangief · · Score: 2, Funny

    has the technology to put geostationary satelites at just 0 mt. from the ground!!!

  4. 65K Feet? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny
    As the submitter writes, "It's basically a blimp that thinks it's a geostationary satellite floating at 65K feet!"

    Is that 65,000 or 66,560 feet?

    1. Re:65K Feet? by sploo22 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Don't you mean 65,536? Hand over your geek license, buddy.

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      Karma: Segmentation fault (tried to dereference a null post)
    2. Re:65K Feet? by oojah · · Score: 2, Funny

      Let's hope the funny moderation was because he got it wrong, not because the moderator thought he was right...

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      Do you have any better hostages?
    3. Re:65K Feet? by rewt66 · · Score: 4, Funny
      No, 65,536 is 64K. 65K is 65 * 1024 = ...

      (breaks out a calculator because he doesn't want to add 1024 to 65536 and make a mistake)

      ... 66,560.

      Hand over your geek license, buddy!

      (But I'll probably lose my geek license for admitting I used a calculator.)

  5. Rail gun by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does anyone know of plans to make a rail-gun that can shoot 65,000 ft. (No relation to this article, just asking)

  6. mandatory reference by bill11082 · · Score: 2, Funny

    finally some competition for the free-range antennalope:-p

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    DANGER! 10,000 Ohms
  7. Oh, I get it now... by rewt66 · · Score: 2, Funny

    At first I thought it was one of those "IP over carrier pigeons" things that geeks do when they get really bored...

  8. Gratuitous Strong Bad by swordboy · · Score: 4, Funny
    --

    Life is the leading cause of death in America.
  9. Re:am I just a naysayer? by Bi()hazard · · Score: 4, Funny

    Satellite works great? I take you you don't like to telecommute, play games, use voice over IP, or just about anything else that depends on latency. Satellites give you high ping times because light takes a long time to travel up and back down. These airships are high enough that the problem won't vanish entirely, but they are far lower than satellites, and the ping times should be reasonable enough to make applications like the ones I mentioned usable. This is an enormous improvement for users in rural areas.

    Aside from the fact that it IS broke, and no I won't pardon your insolence, stupidity, or lack of logic :P, fixing things that aren't broke is what the technology industry is all about.

    At the very least, if this fails you'll be able to get good quality airships for cheap at auction. Imagine what you could do with one of these, it's perfect for up and coming supervillains. These things are suitable for heavy lifting and transport duties, allowing you to carry enough supplies to life off for months and even deploy helicopters. The location gives you excellent sensor range even if you're positioned over international waters, as well as making this an ideal missile launching platform.

    It becomes even more compelling when you build a fleet of airships. With enough redundancy to withstand attacks and keep all the bases covered regarding supplies, fuel, deployable vehicles, and armaments, these airships would make a very suitable mobile base of operations. Perfect for those who can't be sequestered in a remote island lair.

    Most important of all, just imagine how cool it would be! Put on some classical aviator outfits, go forth onto the bow, cast against the panorama of your harsh azure domain. Astride an entire world, master of all you survey, the piercing frigidity of the howling wind is surpassed only by your cold, unforgiving glare. No mere ant below can hope to contend with one to whom Olympus is but a speck, one who has usurped the very domain of Zeus himself. Count your days, hopeless mortals, for by this iron hand the sky is falling!

  10. All other avenues have failed for broadband by zymano · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why don't we instead 'ORGANIZE' and fight the political system that is against us with their big corporate cronyism campaigns with traditional protests?

    We should be fighting for Fiber to the curb with municipal broadband and 100 megabit access to the net. We are being pushed around like 'slaves' . I am sick and damn tired of it.

    Doesn't anyone understand that whats going on with broadband is a microcosm of our 'EVIL' political-corporate system.

    When will one person in the media stand up against the cable monopolies and tell them that what they are doing by preventing municipal broadband is wrong.

  11. Potential Error Message: by dteichman · · Score: 2, Funny

    Sorry, not enough blimps overhead.
    Please try again later.
    We apologize for any inconvienience.

  12. You think you're kidding by Fished · · Score: 5, Funny

    I had a cox cable connection that was strung too low over an alley, and periodically some sort of truck would pull the cable down. I would call the cable company, and go through the whole rigamarole you describe, before, finally, getting someone who could understand that the physical cable was lying in my back yard and no amount of fiddling would make it work. To get those dingbats to understand that the cable was PHYSICALLY DOWN and nothing they could do would fix it took hours.

    --
    "He who would learn astronomy, and other recondite arts, let him go elsewhere. " -- John Calvin, commenting on Genesis 1
  13. Don't Worry by tunabomber · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm sure DirectTV and Comcast have some in the works.

    --

    pi = 3.141592653589793helpimtrappedinauniversefactory71 ...
  14. Re:All other avenues have failed for broadband by /dev/trash · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah! Screw human rights and fair wages. We need FIBER to the curb!