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EA Trying to Buy Ubisoft Shares
jujubees writes "What is going on with Electronic Arts these days? This morning it was revealed that EA is trying to acquire 19.9% of the Ubisoft shares owned by Dutch investment company Talpa Beheer B.V. If approved by the US Antitrust department, the buyout would instantly make EA the biggest shareholder, ahead of the Guillemot brothers. Whether this is a hostile takeover attempt is not clear at this point, no financial terms were disclosed." An anonymous reader also wrote in to mention a GamePro Editorial about the company, regarding its past as an honorable games-maker and its current reputation.
I am going to start a game company in the hopes that EA will buy me out.
Reading financial news from Slashdot is like watching retards drive bumper cars---it's funny, and anything but serious. Do any of you even really know or understand what a hostile takeover is? Do you understand the legalities involved?
Slashdot: Spreading Rumors and Bad Advice Since 1996
Those hoping for sequels to farcry can rejoice if the takeover succeeds. You will now have farcry 2005, 2006, 2007 .... with just the names of the characters changed.
I am looking forward to :
Beyond Good & Evil: the NHL edition
where gamers will enjoy taking pictures of strange creatures that infect NHL players in difficult to reach parts of their bodies.
I'll do it for cheesy poofs.
In other news, EA reached a licensing deal with the CIA. They now have exclusive rights to publish stealth action games. EA's progammers claimed their future games would have 25% fewer glitches and bugs than previous offerings, meaning online play would simply be "unplayable" due to cheating instead of "completely unplayable."
you never played typing of the dead then!
"In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
Five years ago, deep inside EA's secret underground lair.
.....You just don't get it, do you Number 2?
Number 2: Dr. Evil, I'd like to take a moment to bring you up to speed on our Evil Empire. Do you remember Tripp Hawkins, one of your Evil Agents?
Dr. Evil: Yes, of course, Mr. Hawkins. A wirery fellow...always talking about skateboarding. Smelled of oregano.
Number 2: Yes. As you may recall, Mr. Hawkins was charged with creating a way to brainwash the minds of school children...
Dr. Evil: Ah yes, Project Marcy Playground! Control the minds of school children, have them steal money and valuables from their parents, to fund our Evil Research. Progress?
Number 2: Actually, the brainwashing aspect of the project was dropped years ago, after Mr. Hawkins learned that there was much more money and control to be had making a new form of entertainment, called video games. In the past 15 years, video games have become the most popular form of entertainment in children and young adults, and Mr. Hawkins company Electronic Arts has become the dominate force in the industry.
Dr. Evil: No brainwashing?
Number 2: No sir, it's quite unnecessary. Video games are so popular we control the purchasing habits of children without the need for drugs or hypersonic waves. Parents buy the games for their children willingly, and the operation is entirely legitimate. So far EA has made over $12 billion for our Evil Research Laboratories, and we estimate a 15% annual increase in those numbers over the next 20 years. The profit potential is almost unlimited!
Dr. Evil:
Number 2: Excuse me, sir?
Dr. Evil: SILENCE! Eliminate Mr. Hawkins, inform all EA employees they will be receiving mandatory overtime and 10% pay cuts, begin eliminating our competition using underhanded business techniques, and ensure that the most loved of these "video games" are driven into the ground by failing quality and shoddy licensing deals!
This totally explains what happened to Acclaim!!
Dr. Evil: Make the next Dave Mira game XXX. I want fem-bots with feakin laser bames on their jibblies.
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