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Skunkworks At Apple -- The Graphing Calculator Story

Posted by timothy on from the reads-like-fiction dept.

avitzur writes with a link to the story behind the Macintosh Graphing Calculator. An excerpt from this strange account: "It's midnight. I've been working sixteen hours a day, seven days a week. I'm not being paid. In fact, my project was canceled six months ago, so I'm evading security, sneaking into Apple Computer's main offices in the heart of Silicon Valley, doing clandestine volunteer work for an eight-billion-dollar corporation."

40 of 642 comments (clear)

  1. EA? by danielacroft · · Score: 5, Funny

    I hope we don't hear from this person's significant other soon...

    --
    Something intruiging...
    1. Re:EA? by rampant+mac · · Score: 3, Funny
      "I hope we don't hear from this person's significant other soon..."

      Somehow, I don't think that will be a problem around here.

      --
      I like big butts and I cannot lie.
    2. Re:EA? by Tackhead · · Score: 2, Funny
      > > I hope we don't hear from this person's significant other soon...
      > I was dating a high school math teacher at the time, but, unsurprisingly, the relationship did not survive the events of the story.

      "Your shirt smells like someone else's perfume? Lipstick on your collar? Don't try to lie to me, you bastard! You really spent the night at that damn computer lab again!"

  2. Microsoft Security? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "...but sadly, Microsoft has effective building security."

    I hear you can use Internet Explorer and ActiveX to get around any Microsoft security...

    1. Re:Microsoft Security? by IO+ERROR · · Score: 5, Funny
      Being the only person I know to walk into a Microsoft building and out of same carrying CD-R's stamped "Microsoft Confidential" all over them, without actually being there to do any work for the company, I think I should comment on what MS building security was like.

      In order to get into the building, I had to use the phone outside the door to call upstairs to my friend who then came down and let me in. (Five-digit extensions starting with 2.) Or you could just follow somebody in, but watch out, the building I went into has double sets of doors, and you have to swipe your card at both sets. And there's a receptionist inside who had to be distracted...

      Once you're in, you're in. If you look vaguely like you belong there, nobody's going to raise a stink. It helps a LOT to wear an old T-shirt and jeans, the standard MS business suit. Wander in and out of offices nobody's in, load up your backpack with cool stuff lying around. Stop by the kitchen and pick up some free soda. (Well they don't have that anymore, I guess...) Play a game of pool or Donkey Kong.

      If someone does challenge you, tell them the connector you're writing is driving you insane, and do they want to pop out for Chinese?

      And definitely swipe 50 of those "Microsoft Confidential" CD-R's.

      Sometime that evening, I notice the building seems a lot dimmer than it was before. When I got outside I noticed Microsoft Security driving around, stopping in front of a building, and pointing some sort of remote control at it. He pushed something, and most of the lights in the building shut off. I STILL want one of those remotes.

      I got in my car, drove back across the lake, and hightailed it up I-5 to Canada...

      --
      How am I supposed to fit a pithy, relevant quote into 120 characters?
    2. Re:Microsoft Security? by richie2000 · · Score: 4, Funny
      an actual Microsoft employee has been "social engineered" into revealing information about the security in the buildings.

      He's probably on the ActiveX team and not really used to the concepts of "security" and "secrets".

      --
      Money for nothing, pix for free
    3. Re:Microsoft Security? by ferratus · · Score: 2, Funny

      I got in my car, drove back across the lake, and hightailed it up I-5 to Canada... Well, there it is. The proof W was looking for all this time. Canada really is arboring terrorists and other assorted bad guys (tm). You guys really need to invade us soon. Who knows, as soon as we get helicopters powerful enough to cross the borders, imagine what we could do!

      --
      IP Therefore I am.
    4. Re:Microsoft Security? by identity0 · · Score: 2, Funny

      But I bet you you don't know the secret entry codes to NORAD headquarters - in fact, I'll BET YOU A HUNDRED DOLLARS that you don't know, and couldn't possibly tell me how to get in. : )

    5. Re:Microsoft Security? by Senzei · · Score: 2, Funny
      Oh no, I know it.

      The code is:
      1
      2
      3
      4
      5

      The same as on my luggage.

      --
      Slashdot: Where anecdotes and generalizations can be freely substituted for facts, logic, or intelligence
  3. Working for no pay... by Junior+J.+Junior+III · · Score: 3, Funny

    This is guy put the "insane" in "insanely great"

    --
    You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
    1. Re:Working for no pay... by Junior+J.+Junior+III · · Score: 2, Funny

      Suddenly I'm typing engrish... should have included the words "the" and "who" in there somewhere.

      --
      You see? You see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! Stupid!
  4. Heh by daveschroeder · · Score: 5, Funny

    The last line of the story:

    We wanted to release a Windows version as part of Windows 98, but sadly, Microsoft has effective building security.

    Too bad that security didn't translate to other areas...

    1. Re:Heh by binkzz · · Score: 5, Funny
      We wanted to release a Windows version as part of Windows 98, but sadly, Microsoft has effective building security.

      I heard that if you issue any sentence longer than 1024 characters to the first guard, he'll obey any command you give after that.

      For the second guard, keep shift pressed before he sees you and he won't notice you.

      --
      'For we walk by faith, not by sight.' II Corinthians 5:7
  5. Good job, you will probably get security fired by AHumbleOpinion · · Score: 3, Funny

    ... my project was canceled six months ago, so I'm evading security, sneaking into Apple Computer's main offices in the heart of Silicon Valley ...

    Good job, Steve will probably hear about this tomorrow and start firing people working security.

    1. Re:Good job, you will probably get security fired by AHumbleOpinion · · Score: 4, Funny

      Ummm, the story being told took place nearly 10 years ago

      Do you really think that little details like that can stop Steve's rage?

    2. Re:Good job, you will probably get security fired by mj_1903 · · Score: 2, Funny

      Do you really think that little details like that can stop Steve's rage?

      Well as Steve wasn't actually working there, he would probably be more annoyed that those guys weren't sneaking into his corporate headquarters and writing code for NeXTStep. It probably would have doubled the number of computers he sold, which really wouldn't have been all that hard.

  6. Re:Dedication by High+Jumbllama · · Score: 2, Funny

    The words obsessive and idiot comes to mind if this was true.

  7. The real story by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    doing clandestine volunteer work for an eight-billion-dollar corporation.

    In short, I'm an idiot.

  8. What an awesome job by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    At 1:00 a.m., we trekked to an office that had a PowerPC prototype. We looked at each other, took a deep breath, and launched the application. The monitor burst into flames.

    Hell, if I got to have a job like that, I don't think I'd ever need paying, as long as they gave me a cardboard box and some occasional munchies (water can be gotten out of the sewer).

    Making monitors esplode!!! FUN!!!!1111

    The software hadn't caused the fire; the monitor had just chosen that moment to malfunction.

    Oh...Darn.

  9. I liked this line the best by goon+america · · Score: 5, Funny
    I liked this line:
    I asked my friend Greg Robbins to help me. His contract in another division at Apple had just ended, so he told his manager that he would start reporting to me. She didn't ask who I was and let him keep his office and badge. In turn, I told people that I was reporting to him. Since that left no managers in the loop, we had no meetings and could be extremely productive.

    Someone should write a novel about this. ... Come to think of it, this is exactly the sort of thing Chuck Palahniuk would write (author of Fight Club).
    1. Re:I liked this line the best by idlemachine · · Score: 2, Funny
      maybe throw in some odd perversion[...]

      Something other than working for Apple? :)

  10. Re:Slashdotted already by chris_mahan · · Score: 2, Funny

    In this case you have to say "burst into flames."

    --

    "Piter, too, is dead."

  11. forget WWJD by bird603568 · · Score: 2, Funny

    man forget wht What Would Jesus Do, from now on for coders it should be WWGATOGD - What Would Gregg And The Other Guy Do?

  12. Re:An engineer's dream by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    The only downside was not getting paid, but even that seemed to work out.

    Pure luxury. In my day we had to pay to come to work. And we liked it.

  13. Well Thank god... by Opticalsky · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Microsoft has effective building security." Well thank god, they at least have that.

  14. Re:All too true... by nihilogos · · Score: 4, Funny

    I really wish more programmers, engineers, and managers understood this.

    And I wish first time users weren't so flipping clueless ;)

    --
    :wq
  15. Re:Article Text without silly next buttons by name773 · · Score: 4, Funny

    that world could be coming to a planet near you soon
    then it's just the pits for mars, isn't it... we should recall the rover as soon as possible.

  16. Re:Can't legally volunteer by dilberito · · Score: 2, Funny

    but weren't they nonprofit back then?

  17. Re:Dedication by pHatidic · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yeah all this guy's dedication is making me feel guilty for posting while being too lazy to even read the story.

  18. Obligatory by Have+Blue · · Score: 5, Funny

    The first rule of graphic calculator club...

  19. Red stapler, anyone? by Jester99 · · Score: 4, Funny

    100+ comments, and nobody's yet realized that this guy is Milton from Office Space?

    "They fired him, but he doesn't know it. He just comes in every day and works."

    (And despite Milton's, ah, interesting character traits, I find him the coolest character in the show; or perhaps it's because of them. So, I mean this in the most praiseworthy manner possible. Rock on!)

  20. Do I smell acontract upcoming for Ron? by broKenfoLd · · Score: 2, Funny

    -Unpaid -Long, long hours -Long crunch time It is only a matter of time until EA hops on this.

  21. Golly... by CodeWanker · · Score: 3, Funny

    Apple is so cool it has stalkers.

    --


    "Wow. Now THAT'S a lot of angry Indians." - Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer
  22. I love the last line by bossesjoe · · Score: 5, Funny

    We wanted to release a Windows version as part of Windows 98, but sadly, Microsoft has effective building security. Never thought I'd ever see "microsoft" and "effective security" in the same sentance

    --
    There is no replacement for displacement.
  23. Re:Wow by Barlo_Mung_42 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Maybe the guy that builds the gold master disk will download it :)

  24. Re:And this is the kind of zealous insanity by Max+Romantschuk · · Score: 4, Funny

    If you mean in the sense that there will always be an Amiga, then yes.

    --
    .: Max Romantschuk :: http://max.romantschuk.fi/
  25. Sheesh.. by Kwil · · Score: 5, Funny

    We wanted to release a Windows version as part of Windows 98, but sadly, Microsoft has effective building security.

    Wouldn't you just know it.. the one place Microsoft has effective security is the place that keeps people from doing something useful.

    --

    That Jesus Christ guy is getting some terrible lag... it took him 3 days to respawn! -NJ CoolBreeze

  26. Re:An engineer's dream by rmull · · Score: 3, Funny

    University, huh?

    --
    See you, space cowboy...
  27. If it was MS, there would be no end to the bitchin by EXrider · · Score: 2, Funny

    Actually, it's not invisible if you view the file with ResEdit. And yes, it is neat IMHO. Mac OS can also decipher file types via filename extensions the traditional Unix and Windows way.

    The problem is that if Micros~1 had done it, it would have most likely been in a way that would intent~1 ensure it to not work with other OS's right out of the box, and it would be depend~1 on some propri~1, highly temper~1, and convol~1 database. It would also be in the least aesthe~1 pleasing, quick and dirty way, that's how Micros~2 would do it; ie our friend the registry.

    --
    grep -iw skynet /etc/services
  28. Re:My Best Project was a Skunkworks Job by 44BSD · · Score: 2, Funny

    Notice what kind of pie you got?