Medical Students Profile Middle-Earth's Gollum

An anonymous reader writes "Several medical students and a lecturer in 'old age psychiatry' have written up their analysis and final diagnosis of Gollum in the British Medical Journal. Other readers note the possibility of metal toxicity from the One Ring in their Rapid Responses." Hopefully everyone has had a few days off to 'Research' this by watching RotK's extended cut.

Comments

Lead poisoning!

[mOoZik]

It was lead, I tells ya! ;)

Site's melted. :(

Wow

[Anonymous Coward]

I'm glad our educational system has progressed to the point that students can get acclaim for watching fantasy movies and devoting their time to "studies" of this kind. The human condition is so much better off now. Thank you very little.

Re:Wow

[Bastard of Subhumani]

Yes, cause students should spend every second on serious study. That's the way to stay sane.

Difference is that these days you can major in things that 10 years ago were hobbies - you know, that you did after class.

I mean, Master of Arts in Klingon?

Re:Wow

[RenaissanceGeek]

Hello! These are MEDICAL students! An EXTREMELY important part of their field is the ability to arrive at diagnoses when presented with a set of symptoms. (It's so important that Discover magazine devotes one of its montly columns to the narration of a tricky medical diagnosis: it's called "Vital Signs.")

And who says that those symptoms HAVE to come from firsthand observation? If they did, no doctor could ever phone up a colleague for a consultation, or derive any worthwhile conclusions from reading a patient's chart.

In fact, I once read a rather interresting passage in a novel about a retired physician who intended to spend his declining years diagnosing the maladys of the characters from great works of literature. The example given is from Hamlet. In Act III, Scene IV, Hamlet kills Polonius, and proceeds to hide the body. According to what I read, it could be derived from Hamlet's responses in Act IV, Scene I to queries as to the body's location (e.g. "if you find him not within this month, you shall nose him as you go up the stairs into the lobby.") and others that Hamlet had hid the body in with the King's chamber-pot (to mask the smell of rot), and it was unlikely to be found accidentally, as the King suffered from constipation.

Unfortunately, I believe that the novel was borrowed, as I can't find it on my shelves.

Re:Wow

[vsprintf]

. . .the final diagnosis is schizoid personality disorder.

Unfortunately, the diagnosis comes too late to help poor Gollum who refused to seek professional help and died during the commission of a theft. Let this be a warning to all who suddenly develop a taste for sushi and flashy jewelry to seek help from your local Elf immediately.

Re:Wow

[zakezuke]

OTOH, studying Klingon or Quenyan as part of a linguistics degree could be a useful mental exercise.

But it's hard to pickup chicks when you can speak Klingon, except other chicks that also speak Klingon.

Re:Wow

[yuri benjamin]

Try Quenyan then. Chicks dig LotR.

Re:Wow

[the original m0nk]

and - trust me on this - if the chick speaks klingon, not only do you NOT want to pick her up, but chances are good that she could pick YOU up, soviet russia be damned.

HIPAA Violation!

[Average_Joe_Sixpack]

Revealing Gollum's private medical information constitutes a violation of the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996.

Gollums equipment

[Xpilot]

My friend and I theorized that under that dirty little loincloth of his, Gollum probably doesn't have much of his manhood left, having shrivelled up and dried off after centuries of disuse. Maybe we should write it up and send off our theory to the British Medical Journal too. I'd feel so erudite seeing my name published there.

Re:Gollums equipment

[afd8856]

not likely. Imagine Golum being a voyeurist. He has invisibility, has a lot of time to burn, what else can he do than polish his "ring"?

I don't know about Gollum...

[Pecisk]

but web site diagnosis is clear: slashdotted.

Reminds of of an old Styx tune ....

[Luscious868]

"Too much time on my hands...."

Re:star wars & neurology

[zephc]

from the page: "...mental retardation coupled with an unusual facility with language, a love for music..."

So... it... must-be-named... after-William....... Shat-NER!

Re:star wars & neurology

[Erik Hollensbe]

No, that would require acting in iambic pentameter.

House

[DJTodd242]

When asked for comment, Dr. Gregory House muttered something sarcastic and hobbled away.

Must complete clinicals. Only then, a doctor ....

[PsiPsiStar]

When 900 years old he reaches, be so healthy he will not. Hmmph!