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Relic Russian ICBM To the Rescue for Science

Posted by timothy on from the swords-into-satellites dept.

helio writes "Japanese space agency, JAXA, has announced that the agency will use DNEPR space launch system to launch OICETS (Optical Inter-Orbit Communications Engineering Test Satellite). Initially OICETS was to be launched with Japan's H-IIA rocket, however the delay in their development and a lack of time in the schedule force JAXA to utilize Russian's DNEPR system. For those who are too young to remember Cold War, DNEPR space launch system used to be Russian's inter-continental ballistic missiles (ICBM). As you may guess, the OICETS satellite will be launched from a silo."

17 of 149 comments (clear)

  1. Check it over reallllly good folks by nizo · · Score: 4, Funny
    Boy are they going to be suprised if the backup systems kick in and the ICBM slams into Washington D.C.

    Seriously however, I can't think of a better use for old Russian ICBMs.

    --
    I Am My Own Worst Enemy
    1. Re:Check it over reallllly good folks by eln · · Score: 2, Funny

      As long as the research satellite doesn't contain any nuclear warheads, I think we're probably safe if it impacts, unless it hits someone directly on the head, which one would have to take as some sort of sign from God that maybe today wasn't the best day to get out of bed.

    2. Re:Check it over reallllly good folks by bzebarth · · Score: 2, Funny
      "Would you like to play a game?"
      "How about, Global Thermonuclear War?"

      I guess I'm probably dating myself with that one.

    3. Re:Check it over reallllly good folks by idontgno · · Score: 4, Funny
      Lets hope that the US doesn't have an automated response system that watches for anything coming out of the silos. It doesn't make for good international relations to launch a couple thousand nukes in response to communications satellite.

      Oh, good point, good point. Put that into the "Cost" column in the Cost-Benefit analysis for our Global Satellite Telecommunications Domination plan.

      --
      Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
    4. Re:Check it over reallllly good folks by dustinbarbour · · Score: 2, Funny

      Unless of course it nails you while you are in bed. Then it *WAS* quite obviously your day to get out of bed.

      --
      What is your penile percentile?
    5. Re:Check it over reallllly good folks by dhakbar · · Score: 2, Funny

      Every Slashdot reader would absolutely LOVE to get nailed in bed, for it is but a pipe dream...

    6. Re:Check it over reallllly good folks by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      You're a slashdotter. You're expected to date yourself.

  2. heh by Renraku · · Score: 2, Funny

    (minutes after launch)

    This just in!

    Rhode Island has been consumed in a fiery explosion!

    Also just in, the word "oops" is heard around the world, supposedly originating from a team of scientists and launch coordinators..

    --
    Job? I don't have time to get a job! Who will sit around and bitch about being broke and unemployed then?
    1. Re:heh by MrP-(at+work) · · Score: 2, Funny

      HEY NOW! I live in RI =(

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      [an error occurred while processing this directive]
  3. I Dunno... by JossiRossi · · Score: 2, Funny

    Seems a bit too much like a James Bond Villian plot.

    "That's right Mr. Bond. The japanese science missile is actually carrying a nuclear payload, and there is no one here to stop me MWHAHAHAH! Now I'm going to put this "stop missile" remote control over here and leave the room secure in the fact that you can't possibly escape your restraints... MWHAHAHAHAH!"

    --
    Just a boy doing unproffesional IT work that's way above his head.
  4. The ICBM contains...... by AtariAmarok · · Score: 4, Funny

    The ICBM contains a beowulf-cluster of sharks with friggen lazer beams mounted on their heads. It be be piloted by giant alien ant overlords (which I welcome) led by Bruce Willis. There, does that cover it all?

    --
    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
    1. Re:The ICBM contains...... by mogrify · · Score: 2, Funny

      In Soviet Russia, forgetting some running Slashdot gags is for old people.

      --
      perl -e 'foreach(values %SIG){$_="IGNORE";}while(){}'
    2. Re:The ICBM contains...... by melted · · Score: 2, Funny

      It's led by Natalie Portman, you, insensitive clod.

    3. Re:The ICBM contains...... by Cigarra · · Score: 2, Funny

      Netcraft confirms: Russian ICBMs are dead.

      --
      I don't have a sig.
  5. Re:Wait until... by AtariAmarok · · Score: 1, Funny
    "they launch the first warp-one capable space ship from a silo"

    They obviously used a farm silo for this one. Check out the exclusive photo.

    --
    Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
  6. If it *does* head for DC... by mogrify · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... I think we can be reasonably certain that our brand-new, fully-functioning ballistic missile defense system will not intercept it...

    --
    perl -e 'foreach(values %SIG){$_="IGNORE";}while(){}'
  7. Re:In Soviet Russia by iamacat · · Score: 1, Funny

    True enough.

    The question is, does it have a warp drive and are the vulcans watching?