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Engineered Enhancers Closer Than You Think

Roland Piquepaille writes "Happy 2035! Thirty years from now, we'll use bionic eyes giving us 'zoom vision' for faster reactions. Nanobots injected in our bloodstream will complement our immune system. Artificial muscles built with electroactive polymers will help us to be stronger and faster. So you think it's science fiction? Not at all. You'll see that some people are so convinced that this kind of human enhancements will happen that they predict than in a few decades, all sporting events 'will be split up to accommodate enhanced and unenhanced athletes.'"

18 of 344 comments (clear)

  1. Re:Medical needs by cghancock01 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Does anybody remember the Discovery Channel show "Beyond 2000?" Does anybody have a flying car?

  2. So that's what it's about by paughsw · · Score: 2, Funny

    So that's what all these "enhancement" emails I've been getting are about.

  3. 3n1arg3 yur p3n1s!1!1! by orthogonal · · Score: 2, Funny

    You'll see that some people are so convinced that [these] kind of human enhancements will happen...

    Yeah, yeah, yeah, I keep getting email about "human enhancements".

    But no nanobot is going to make this geek cool. ;)

  4. Already split... by rainman_bc · · Score: 4, Funny

    , all sporting events 'will be split up to accommodate enhanced and unenhanced athletes.'"

    Isn't that the difference between pro and amateur?

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  5. In the year 2000 by Viper168 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I hear that by the year 2000 we'll even have flying cars!

    To the future!

  6. Steve Austin. Astronaut. A man barely alive. by mikeophile · · Score: 4, Funny

    Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Better ... stronger ... faster.
    /obligatory

  7. Pilots by Nine+Tenths+of+The+W · · Score: 3, Funny

    What would this mean for pilots, given the strict perfect vision/no eye damage requirements they have?

    And, more importantly, when can I get razor blades that shoot out from under my fingernails?

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    1. Re:Pilots by GoogleBot · · Score: 2, Funny
      ...And, more importantly, when can I get razor blades that shoot out from under my fingernails?

      Im not sure about that, but on a related note, anyone know where I can find a cowboy named Case?

      Apparently, he may be able to do some work for me...

  8. Enchanceds' competition already exists by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It's called Paralympics.

  9. Good.... by mikeswi · · Score: 2, Funny

    Because I can't see across the friggin living room to the TV without my eyeglasses.....

  10. Re:Such things as this could cause war. by TLLOTS · · Score: 2, Funny

    Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!

    Sorry, couldn't resist :P

  11. Already have these things by bshellenberg · · Score: 2, Funny

    I didn't RTFA (just the news story) and from what is covered there, just grab some steroids, cocaine and some over-prescribed glasses. No need to wait.

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  12. Re:Almost a reality by BrainDebugged · · Score: 2, Funny

    Fine by me, just as long as THEY look like THIS.

  13. If this is for real … by Compact+Dick · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... I will need a new handle.

  14. Will the nanobots need an OS? by michaeldot · · Score: 2, Funny

    If so, I sure as hell don't want Microsoft providing it.

  15. Re:It's not a bug, it's a feature by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Evolution didn't give animals good enough eyesight to keep them off the highways!

  16. Where's my flying car? by Clueless+Moron · · Score: 3, Funny
    I want my goddamned flying car. It's been promised for fifty years now. Stuff your nanotech, bases on Mars, and robotic maids:

    WHERE'S MY GODDAMNED FLYING CAR???

  17. Re:It's not a bug, it's a feature by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yes, and whats ironic is that the sensory overload of modern life is precisely what causes vision loss.

    Actually, it's masturbation that does it.