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Laser Painting Could Lead to 25-Year Prison Term

lowy writes "According to this USA Today article, a New Jersey man was charged under federal anti-terrorism laws with shining a laser beam at a jet flying over his home. The Feds arrested him after he flashed a police helicopter searching for the source of the beam. He now faces up to 25 years in prison under Patriot Act charges." It seems to be happening around the country, as our earlier post makes clear.

32 of 1,615 comments (clear)

  1. ummm.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    link to the usatoday story, please?

    1. Re:ummm.... by HTH+NE1 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Note to self: don't try to signal departing rescue craft with laser pointer.

      --
      Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
  2. RTFA? by defMan · · Score: 4, Funny

    I know we don't read the articles but to stop linking to them is not making it easier.

  3. That's federal pound me in the ass prison. by glrotate · · Score: 2, Funny

    Doesn't sound like fun anymore, does it?

  4. RTFA by justforaday · · Score: 3, Funny

    For once, everyone will have an excuse for not RTFA.

    --
    I'll turn into a supernova and burn up everything. Well I'll turn into a black little hole and you'll turn into string.
  5. How appropiate . . . by Kaimelar · · Score: 2, Funny
    Nothing for you to see here. Please move along.

    "Hmmm . . . new article on Slashdot, think I'll check the comments . . . Argggh! My eyes! I can't see anything!!"

  6. Re:Only 25 years? by jim5272 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think there is a big difference between hitting a plane with an industrial type laser, and screwing around with your laserpointer. Check it out I'm Luke Skywalker .. bbbzzzzzeeeewwww, oh crap was that a POLICE helicopter?

  7. Re:Motive by deadlinegrunt · · Score: 5, Funny

    " I would really like to know what he was thinking."

    I'm pretty sure he wasn't.

    --
    BSD is designed. Linux is grown. C++ libs
  8. What a moron by rlthomps-1 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I like how he lit up the police helicopter which led to his arrest. I mean, with all the flap about this, he HAD to know that police were looking for the guy doing it.

    I wonder if just finished a grand theft auto marathon before going to "look at the stars"

  9. "Laser printing could lead to 25-year prison term" by g0at · · Score: 3, Funny

    and I'm thinking wtf, the pro-collusion bent of American law is really getting out of hand here; now they're forcing people to buy overpriced ink cartridges?

    ...oops.

    -b

  10. Re:RTFM by Dr+Caleb · · Score: 2, Funny
    RTFM? What Fucking Manual?

    Thanks for the link BTW.

    --
    "History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme." Mark Twain
  11. Re:RTFM by Elwood+P+Dowd · · Score: 2, Funny

    After being taken to an FBI office and given a lie-detector test, Banach said he had hit the jet with the beam, court documents say.

    Ok, weird. I would like way, way more information than was provided in this sentence.

    During questioning by the FBI, Banach showed an agent his laser. After the agent switched it on, Banach warned him "not to shine the laser in his eyes because it could blind him," the court documents say.

    MY GOD, STRING HIM UP AND FRY HIM!

    --

    There are no trails. There are no trees out here.
  12. Re:Only 25 years? by mmkkbb · · Score: 4, Funny

    Well, it's certainly hard enough to throw a little girl hard enough to bring down an airplane no matter how strong you are.

    --
    -mkb
  13. Worse still... by SolemnDragon · · Score: 5, Funny

    Worse still, he now has to live with the permanent epithet, "Laser Guy."

    Evildoer 1: I'm the Disgruntled Postman!

    Evildoer 2: Welcome aboard! Meet MurderOne, Manslaughter, Aggravated Assault, and oh- that guy over in the corner is Laser Guy.

    Evildoer 1: THE Laser Guy?

    Laser Guy: Just give me a laser pointer and i'll - (remembers what he's in for and hangs his head in shame) be almost completely ineffective, but not ineffective enough to stay out of PRISON... *curls up in fetal position and sobs*

    Evildoer 2: Yep, that's LaserGuy, all right.

  14. One hell of an aim... by Sliptwixt · · Score: 5, Funny

    I can't always hit the toilet from a foot away, how the hell did this guy get a laser in the face of a pilot in a plane hundreds (thousands?) of feet in the air?

  15. paranoia by willCode4Beer.com · · Score: 2, Funny

    I agree, kill 100 with a leatherman might be difficult.
    Now, if you had a plastic spoon AND a leatherman...

    --
    ----- If communism is a system where the government owns business, what do you call a system where business owns govern
  16. Oh, that article... by abb3w · · Score: 2, Funny
    The slashdot story is missing the link. No comment about the editor who posted it.

    Are you implying that they may be a missing link? Or just noting that it was from the "too-bright-therefore-not-so-bright" department editor?

    Eh. Errare humanum est.

    --
    //Information does not want to be free; it wants to breed.
  17. Home repair jobs!? by badmonkey · · Score: 2, Funny

    From the article: "Thousands of inexpensive lasers used for home repair jobs were sold before Christmas, some for as little as $15."

    What kind of home repair can you perform with a laser pointer?

  18. Re:Only 25 years? by swv3752 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Heh, a bizarro Macguyver would need either a bar of chocolate or a rubber band.

    --
    Just a Tuna in the Sea of Life
  19. Re:I'm confused by the distance by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Well there have been several reports of lasers shining in cockpits for several seconds, blinding the pilots.. Its impossible to shine it for even a microsecond, nevermind several seconds.. So obviously this is either a government technology being tested on civilians, or aliens. So the gov needs him to cover it up.

    Obviously

  20. Re:Is this a good trend? by oliphaunt · · Score: 4, Funny
    We're basically now arresting and locking up stupid people. Maybe this is a good trend

    Only if we also castrate them so that they can't breed and make MORE stupid people. Locking people up is a bad idea in general, because you have to then worry about feeding them, sheltering them, etc. Wouldn't it be much better to just kill them outright?

    My solution to the prison problem in the US: Stop locking people up locally- instead just put up a big fence around Texas, and let's send all of our criminals there, like the British used to do with Australia. Give them NOTHING. Let them kill each other and steal from each other and defraud each other and shoot lasers at each other as much as they want- I would volunteer to sit on the other side of the fence and shoot anyone who tries to get across. I'm sure I'm not the only one who would proudly serve his country this way.

    And all the people who already live in Texas? Well, life's a bitch sometimes, ain't it? Stay on your side of the fence.

    After several generations, perhaps Texas could transform itself from the barren wasteland and breeding ground of theives and traitors that it is today into a nation of proud citizens, working for the good of the world, just like Australia. And if that doesn't work, we can just salt the earth, pave the whole state and use it as a parking lot for Mexico.

    --




    Humpty Dumpty was pushed.
  21. Re:Only 25 years? by gammoth · · Score: 2, Funny
    they do not wear military uniforms, instead they try to blend in with the population...

    It's a good thing we donned uniforms for the American Revolution so that we can take this stand on illegal combatants now without a hint of hypocrisy.

  22. Frickin lasers by merc · · Score: 2, Funny

    Were they attached to a frickin shark's head?

    --
    It's true no man is an island, but if you take a bunch of dead guys and tie 'em together, they make a good raft.
  23. Re:Only 25 years? by Lord_Dweomer · · Score: 2, Funny
    "Riiiight. Like I could really kill 100 people in a mall with only a 2-1/2 inch blade and a pair of pliers."

    Macguyver could...

    --
    Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
  24. Re:Only 25 years? by Greyfox · · Score: 2, Funny
    I bet you could do it with some sort of catapult or air cannon device! We see those built from time to time on various Discovery Network shows.

    Now I want to see Mythbusters build a little girl cannon!

    --

    I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

  25. Suggestion, as in hypnosis by Muttonhead · · Score: 2, Funny

    I can see how the media might have suggested the idea of shining lasers at aircraft and after reading that people went outside to give it a try.

  26. Re:Only 25 years? by maskedbishounen · · Score: 2, Funny

    I don't know about you, but I for one already have a "little" girl cannon. Or so the e-mails tell me.

    *ducks*

    --
    "An infinite number of monkeys typing into GNU emacs would never make a good program."
  27. Terrorism pretext by Muttonhead · · Score: 2, Funny

    The terrorism pretext is a big excuse to clamp down on Americans. In other news, little Johnny rudely pointed his finger at his teacher, Mrs. Smith. He will get 50 years for that. Little did Johnny know that his finger pointing interrupted Mrs. Smith's speech and caused her to lose her bid for school principal.

  28. Re:RTFM by EnronHaliburton2004 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Thanks for the link BTW

    You got that wrong, it's "Thanks for the Fucking Link BTW"... sheesh. Some people.

  29. Re:Only 25 years? by trentblase · · Score: 2, Funny

    Fair enough... I especially like this quote "Can be used for skypointing, projection on low clouds, signalling, detecting explosives" -- maybe he was just trying to detect some explosives on the plane. Also, the range is only about 2 miles. This all assumes he didn't go with a more powerful laser from a discount supplier.

  30. Sue the manufacturer by PsiPsiStar · · Score: 2, Funny

    After all, they should have had a warning saying pointing the label at airplanes was illegal under the PATRIOT act.

    --

    ___
    It's the end of my comment as I know it and I feel fine.
  31. And of course... by Tuxedo+Jack · · Score: 2, Funny

    Your green laser will not work on the blue police.

    You are promptly shot for twenty-five damage with the additional penalty of a "pound-me-in-the-ass state prison" takced on.

    You are demoted to Red and lose one clone from your six-pack.

    --

    Striking fear in the authors of godawful fanfiction, I am here, appearing in darkness, Tuxedo Jack!