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Wired's 2004 Vaporware Awards
l3pYr writes "Based on user submissions, Wired Magazine has posted its 2004 Vaporware Awards. Duke Nukem Forever has garnered the 'Lifetime Achievement Award,' so it doesn't - officially - make the list. Some of the lucky winners this year are: Alienware, Valve, Microsoft, Apple and TiVo."
Where's my Atari 1450 XLD? Still waiting....
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Though they keep us hanging, Debian Sarge cannot be considered vapourware as Debian don't give release dates till they're good and ready.
(But I still want it now!)
Phoenix, Boston, Little Rock, see a pattern?
Somewhere, Microsoft programmers are spending their entire careers on a single piece of vaporware
That must be depressing...
They're not really handing out any awards! They're just making it up!
One man's -1 Flamebait is another man's +5 Funny.
Where is the award for a default secure windows?
Grundgesetz * 23. Mai 1949 - 30. November 2007 - http://www.vorratsdatenspeicherung.de/
Talk about vaporware! Interestingly enough, the site has news of a new Buckaroo Banzai book coming out. Where's "Buckaroo Banzai vs The World Crime League"?!!! That's got DNF beat by an order of magnitude!
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Actually using this logic Desktop Linux wins hands down. Every year its arrival is trumpeted yet we still wait.
Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
What truth?
There is no dupe
Alienware CPU with Intel Pentium 4 4GHz, 2 ATI X800 video cards with Alienware Video Array enabled, running Microsoft Longhorn bundled with Duke Nukem Forever & Cherry OS (Capable of emulating Power PC G5 3GHz) will be available shortly* in computer stores near you...
*) Time is relative
P.S.: There are rumours that if you buy two, you will get the Phantom console for free.
I have a leaked copy of the source code to Duke Nuke 'em Forever. It doesn't do anything near to what it was supposed to do. It is in no way vapor! Anyhow, I'll share it here for all to see:
/* Comment out below line before release -EDW */
/* Uncomment out below line when game is written */
/* main_loop (); */
/* forever.c- FIXME: This file is not completed yet */
#include <stdio.h>
int main ()
{
printf ("Duke Nuke 'em Forever v0.001 Alpha Release\n");
return 0;
}
They were promised - and no one's seen them!
No sig for you.
Would anyone find it ironic if Wired hyped their vaporware awards for an entire year and didn't come out with one that year?
I had a 4MHz PC in about 1990. It was a Tulip machine with an NEC V20 processor running at (iirc) 4.88MHz with a whole 20MB hard drive...
Skipping 4 might not be enough--Windows went from 3 to 95, just to be extra-extra safe, and look where it got them. They didn't make any real progress until they skipped 99 through 1999.
After that, the numbers got so high they jumped to a base-36 system (0-9,A-Z) with XP. (Ha ha, just kidding. 'XP' is only 1,213 in base-36. I don't really know where XP came from. But they obviously need to get back up above 2000 if they want to get anywhere.)
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
is the second coming of Jesus Christ.
1,900 years behind the original schedule, man.
What the fuck?
Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
As with all good vaporware code, they haven't finished writing it.
but what if nobody wants to buy it? Is it still vapor ware or is it considered shitty ware?
I mod down so you can mod up. Your welcome.
No no, you have it all wrong. In 2003 they jumped to a base-1305 system. XP actually stands for 31338. Yes, that's right: it's beyond elite.
my blog
My math was wrong. XP base 1305 is 31336. It's not even elite :(.
That's it, I'm switching to Linux.
my blog
Vaporware and shitty ware combine to... fart ware!
9. Intel's Pentium 4 at 4 GHz
Intel was supposed to pump the Pentium 4 to 4 GHz in 2004. It fizzled at 3.8....
8. Apple Computer's G5 Chips at 3 GHz
Intel's in good company. Nobody hit the chip speeds they promised. In June 2003, Apple CEO Steve Jobs said IBM's G5 chips would be at 3 GHz within 12 months. It's been 18.
Ok, now why did they put Apple higher on the list than Intel? Intel has a far broader market reach, and Apple is dependent upon IBM for their chips. Intel is dependent on Intel. Doesn't seem fair, does it? Doesn't seem fair to Apple, does it?
Holy shit. Did I just write that? Was that me? Well folks, I think it's time to go chew on a shotgun barrel. I hereby bequeath my G5 to that stripper at Baby Doll's who really liked me. Maybe she can perform with it.
Oh man, now look at that last sentence... My sexual fantasies are involving G5s. Fuck this. Off with my head.
Hey, they were sure they could beat Bush.
We can also add Saddam's WMDs to the list.
It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.