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Microsoft Releases Malicious Software Removal Tool

Posted by michael on from the now-everything's-all-better dept.

DaHat writes "Hot on the heels of their release last week of Microsoft AntiSpyware, Microsoft today released their very own Malicious Software Removal Tool with the claim that it will detect and remove infections from specific pieces of malware, including those in the families of Berbew, Doomjuice, Gaobot, Msblast, Mydoom, Nachi, Sassier, and Zindos from your Windows 2000, XP or 2003 machine. Microsoft also promises to release an updated version of the tool on the second Tuesday of each month."

20 of 337 comments (clear)

  1. obPost by ackthpt · · Score: 5, Funny
    Microsoft Windows XP successfully uninstalled
    Dag! It works!
    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
    1. Re:obPost by mynickwastaken · · Score: 4, Funny

      Common guys. This thread need to be called just:

      Microsoft Releases Malicious Software

      I think would be enough!

    2. Re:obPost by FyRE666 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Not only that but did you see this part?

      will detect and remove infections from specific pieces of malware, including those in the families of Berbew, Doomjuice, Gaobot, Msblast, Mydoom, Nachi, Sassier...
      It removes Sassier too! It's a lot like Sasser, but with more attitude...

      --
      Code, Hardware, stuff like that.
    3. Re:obPost by Ismilar · · Score: 4, Funny

      Actually, I first thought "Microsoft Releases Malicious Software Removal Tool" meant that Microsoft released a software removal tool that is malicious (as opposed to a tool to remove malicious software)! Of course, that wouldn't really be front page news... :)

    4. Re:obPost by tq_at_sju · · Score: 2, Funny

      did somebody say.............Sassy........

      --
      http://www.vanillaafro.com - take me seriously and I will shoot you
    5. Re:obPost by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 2, Funny
      It would be new, because I was always under the impression that Microsoft's products aren't released.

      They escape.

      --
      "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
      --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
  2. We've been waiting a long time for this... by Lindsay+Lohan · · Score: 4, Funny
    Microsoft today released their very own Malicious Software Removal Tool
    Finally, an IE un-installer.
    1. Re:We've been waiting a long time for this... by stonedyak · · Score: 2, Funny

      More like:

      Scan complete. The following malicious programs were detected:
      - Mozilla Firefox
      - Mozilla Thunderbird
      - OpenOffice.org

      Remove these programs? [Yes] [No]

      <User clicks [No]>

      Programs successfully removed. Have a nice day!

    2. Re:We've been waiting a long time for this... by rob_squared · · Score: 3, Funny

      No, silly! They're obviously introducing a new version of fdisk.

      --
      I don't get it.
  3. Cant stand compition? by bird603568 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Will it remove firefox also?

    1. Re:Cant stand compition? by ackthpt · · Score: 3, Funny

      Will it remove firefox also?

      That's sched'd for a future release, to cast aspersions on the non-standard apps you have on your system.

      todo list:
       remove any known worm/virus scan disk for 'BSoD' references or slashdot cookie, if found, format drive sneakily install microsoft DRM verify windows registration key and log ip address corrupt iTunes (1 chance in 10, so it's less suspicious) report all applications back to microsoft next time connecting to net under request [Get latest update?] ... Profit!!!
      --

      A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  4. Hey it Deleted my Netscape.... by Evil+W1zard · · Score: 3, Funny

    And all other software made by vendors that have sued MS.... It also comes with a custom icon that portrays Bill Gates as Baby Jesus.

    --
    News Reporters Make Tasty Polar Bear Treats!
  5. release the hounds! by trb · · Score: 2, Funny
    Microsoft also promises to release an updated version of the tool on the second Tuesday of each month.

    Malicious software writers promise to release an updated version of their work on the day after the second Tuesday of each month (which may or may not be the second Wednesday).

  6. A what now? by sammy+baby · · Score: 5, Funny

    "What's this? It says it's a malicious software remover."

    "I dunno. Try running it?"

    "Okay." (click-click.)

    "PLEASE WAIT."

    "What's it doing?"

    "Dunno... oh, here."

    "PROGRAM COMPLETE. FIFTEEN PROGRAMS REMOVED. HAVE FUN FIGURING OUT WHICH ONES, BITCHES."

    "Dammit."

  7. Re:what a process! by ackthpt · · Score: 5, Funny
    Did I miss something?

    You appear to have left out the following key steps:

    Draw pentagram

    Light candles

    Sacrifice a goat

    ...

    Prophet!!!

    --

    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  8. Line 'em up by Swamii · · Score: 3, Funny

    A summary of the next 100 Slashdot posts:

    1. Finally, a Windows XP uninstaller!
    2. Finally, an IE uninstaller!
    3. Jokes about the malicious/software wordplay -- is it a malicious tool to remove software or a malicious software removal tool? har har har
    4. Does it run on Linux?
    5. Imagine a beowulf cluster of these.
    6. In Soviet Russia, software tools malice YOU!
    7. In Korea, only old people run malicious tools.
    8. Tin foil cap-sporting nerds complaining about WinVNC rumors.
    9. ???
    10. Profit!
    11. Declare bankruptcy.
    12. Bitch about MS.
    13. Spell MS with a dollar sign.
    14. Tin foil cap-sporting nerds complaining about how this is a MS chokehold attempt on the market.
    15. Anonymous posters claiming they had sex with your mother.
    16. Mindless slashbotting.
    17. 53 offtopic posts.
    18. /. owners modding down anything disagreeing with the Slashbot secular, pro-Linux, uniformity.
    19. Some posts by the GNAA and/or Roland Piquepalle (one and the same)
    20. One really long list of post summaries, to get modded down by angry Slashbots.

    <accepting no karma bonus for this crap>

    --
    Tech, life, family, faith: Give me a visit
  9. Re:mal.icio.us ? by Zocalo · · Score: 4, Funny
    But it might be considered somewhat capr.icio.us and not very jud.icio.us to create mal.icio.us just after Microsoft tries to get of to an ausp.icio.us start in its attempts to help us remove susp.icio.us software that is pern.icio.us in its efforts to remain on our PCs though.

    Yup. You're right. Lot's of subdomain possibilities there!

    --
    UNIX? They're not even circumcised! Savages!
  10. Sure Webbaesd by frovingslosh · · Score: 2, Funny
    Of course webbased. It tests your system security. If your system can be scanned from across the web then you know an awful lot about the security of the system.

    But really, what in the world could be wrong with a web based scanning system? You trust Bill Gates, don't you? You don't think he would do anything unethical while scanning your computer across the web, do you? You don't think there's a reason that the headline of this Slashdot article used the word Malicious as the first adjective to refer to this software, do you?

    --
    I'm an American. I love this country and the freedoms that we used to have.
  11. Re:...and other grammatical anomalies by TheLoneIguana · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hmmm..

    MS=Microsoft
    and
    MS=Malicious Software

    Coincidence?

  12. and every second Wednesday... by Kasperitus · · Score: 2, Funny

    Microsoft also promises to release an updated version of the tool on the second Tuesday of each month

    and every second Wednesday of each month they'll release a security patch to fix the update released the day before.

    (fixed the formatting)