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Through The Steve Ballmer Looking Glass

Class Act Dynamo writes "I was browsing for a video clip I saw the other day, and I came across this clip from 15 years ago of Steve Ballmer pitching windows 1.0 in a television commercial. All I can say is WOW. Apparently, there was a big demand for integrating "LOTUS 1-2-3 with Miami Vice." You'll understand when you see the clip." Let it not be said that Microsoft has no sense of humor.

11 of 470 comments (clear)

  1. This wasn't a TV commercial by TheKingAdrock · · Score: 5, Informative

    There are at least a dozen of these videos floating around, some starring Bill & Steve together. They were made for the amusement of the employees and played at the yearly company meetings.

  2. How much do you think its worth? by racerxroot · · Score: 5, Funny

    The crazy talking head on the television asked me several times how much i thought it was worth. I kept saying "nothing" but he just kept talking. Crazy man. im scared.

    --
    --- Caffeine is directly responsible for some of my greatest ideas, and some of my most embarrassing moments...
  3. Re:Where's the audio? by name_already_taken · · Score: 5, Funny

    Works great in Windows Media Player. I guess that's what you get for trying to save $99.

    --
    Putting moderation advice in your .sig lowers your karma!
  4. What the... no slashdot effect? by Wayne247 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I don't get it.

    Slashdot posts a story with a link that goes (almost) directly to the file. And then it's 5 minutes later and the server happily crunches over a hundred kilobytes per second.

    Now either eBausmworld knows how to put up a content server, or slashdot just lost its edge.

    1. Re:What the... no slashdot effect? by Spy+Hunter · · Score: 5, Informative
      According to Alexa, ebaumsworld has a higher traffic ranking than Slashdot, at ~500 as opposed to ~1000. Furthermore, as the AC pointed out, it serves mostly multimedia files: flash, audio, and video. It uses *way* more bandwidth than Slashdot does.

      I've spent several hours perusing their collection of funny/shocking videos. Once you start, you find it hard to stop. Also a few of their celebrity prank calls are hilarious. Be sure to use Firefox, though. It's a rather shady site, and you're guaranteed to at least get millions of popups in IE, if not several spyware installations. If you use Firefox, you won't have problems.

      --
      main(c,r){for(r=32;r;) printf(++c>31?c=!r--,"\n":c<r?" ":~c&r?" `":" #");}
  5. Re:It all fits... by KevinKnSC · · Score: 5, Informative
    Oh how I wish that was a false statment...I mean, it even goes along with the new goatse.

    First, for the people too terrified to follow that link, it is safe for work and will not burn your retinas like the original goatse. Second, those pictures aren't actually for Teen Beat, as claimed, but were promotional, in some weird alternate reality where that kind of thing could help promote your product.

  6. Re:Yes. but... by Crash24 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Only old Koreans use Windows 1.0

    Except in Nebraska.
  7. Clip shown on TOTN by chiph · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The clip was included in Robert X. Cringely's Triumph of the Nerds series on PBS in 1996. It was as funny then as it is today.

    Chip H.

  8. Re:Well that was interesting by STrinity · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's good to see Microsoft did at least one appearance on TV without Windows Crashing.

    That's only because Windows 1.0 was incapable of displaying a blue screen.

    --
    Les Miserables Volume 1 now up with my reading of
  9. Yes, believe it or not, Lotus ruled at one time by betelgeuse68 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I was around in the 80's. It was my teens and it was in 1984 that I found computing as a hobby. Not too long after that, still in the 80's, I woundup doing work for a trader in one of Chicago's commodity markets and pretty much everyone and their mother used Lotus 1-2-3. Microsoft had "Multiplan" - their answer to Lotus 1-2-3 (the reigning spreadsheet of the day) but no one really cared.

    In fact, Microsoft's software lineup was incredibly diverse since it was a young company trying to put its hand into every market to shore the perception that they had a hand in anything and everything. Sort of like today except back then companies constituted real competition vs. today where you're practically assured of being roadkill if Microsoft sets its sites on you. There was "Microsoft LISP" (no, I'm not kidding; it was actually another company's product repackaged) and Microsoft even had software that worked on the Commodore 64 home computer. I mentioned Multiplan earlier, Microsoft's spreadsheet, well not only could you buy it for the IBM PC, check out this screenshot of their Commodore 64 version:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:C64_Multiplan .p ng

    Am I rueful? A little bit. Do I miss those days? Not a chance. What you can do today with a home computer vs. back then is night and day. In retrospect it is slightly surprising that things held my attention as they did. The Net, tons of free software (open source and otherwise), powerful desktop computers all were quite some time off. If you thought dialup today is bad, try operating on the common standard of the day, 1200 baud modems, as in 120 characters per second, as in, yes it took several seconds to fill an 80x25 text screen which most people had in the form of MS-DOS (forget GUI desktops, they weren't common place for quite some time to come).

    What I so miss however is the the sense that there were lots of great things happening. They're happening today, but the attitude back then was different. For example, you could realistically expect a company to try something "way out there." For example, I was aware of one Chicago trading company (again, commodities markets) had purchased LISP machines to see if it could come up with AI strategies to improve their trading systems:

    http://www.sts.tu-harburg.de/~r.f.moeller/symbol ic s-info/symbolics.html

    While open source is prevalent today in some circles, companies have moved to a situation where vendor support is an end all, be all when it comes to decision making. They can be risk averse to the point of self-detriment resulting in very staid environments at times. One example of this is the IT department for the state of Texas. A friend who works there told me once that unless some set of software came on the HP-UX CD, forget about using it. For him, this meant forgetting about PERL since it was not shipped on the HP-UX CDs (this was a few years ago). Even my situation today reflects this to a degree. I work at a very large financial institution and Apache is non-existent in our production systems. While internal Apache sites can readily be deployed to share infromation with coworkers Apache on customer facing servers is a no go.

    There just seemed to be more variety in what companies might try because the IT market hadn't settled down. While open source is great (something that I personally have great faith in), back then we did not have today's situation where IT like the automotive industry had just a handful of companies owning respective markets, a.k.a., consolidation. As a frame of reference around the turn of the 20th century there were 30+ automotive companies in the USA. By the 30's things had settled down to the "Big Three" that we've known internalized for quite some time. Today Lotus' 1-2-3 is just a memory as are Symbolics machine, the Commodore 64 and many, MANY other things.

    -M

    PS: Having said that, I have a pretty sweet desktop these days - a 64 bith Athlon system. The things I do today are pretty amazing in and of themselves... thanks to Moore's Law.

    1. Re:Yes, believe it or not, Lotus ruled at one time by betelgeuse68 · · Score: 5, Informative

      Well Mitch Kapor founded Lotus. The individual (I forget his name) who did the coding (someone else entirely, Kapor was the business man) did it all in a very short period of time pretty much by himself. He was writing 1-2-3 in assembly language. Yes a concept that is hard to believe for many Slashdotters with all their talk of PHP, PERL, Python et al, but back then, writing desktop applications in assembly language was quite common and in fact a *NECESSITY*. Why? Because other programs were written in this manner manipulating the IBM PC's hardware directly. "Device drivers? MS-DOS APIs? What's that and why bother?" was often the viewpoint held during those times. Programs were significantly more zippy when the IBM PC's hardware was manipulated with hand written assembly. So much so that it was a business necessity... if you wanted to compete in the IBM PC software space. Otherwise your competitors had a major advantage over you - SPEED of the application.

      This is all hard to appreciate today given how powerful computers have become. Virtual machines? Not on your life, e.g., the UCSD P-Code system never caught on (the notion of virtual machines was pioneered at the U of California, San Diego):

      http://www.threedee.com/jcm/psystem/

      Why didn't it catch on? Simple, speed. The IBM PC had a 4.77 MHz 8088 processor and hand written/tuned assembly code creamed practically any program written in a high level language. In fact for years "PC Magazine" (which is still very much alive) would publish the assembly language listings to many of the MS-DOS utilities featured in its covers. Needless to say the idea of that magazine publishing assembly language listings today is quite laughable.

      -M