Slashdot Mirror
Geeks in Management?
The Other Side of the Coin asks: "I've been doing a relatively interesting job until now, but they've pushed me into management recently. Although the new position is pretty boring (I manage normals), I do still have time for all the geeky stuff I used to do before. My problem is: I have no formal (or any other, for that matter) management training. Sure, I'll read a lot about it (and take some education), but what are your experiences as geeks in management? For example, I naturally started to use Borgish management methods, and this wasn't received well by people, to say the least. What are the most difficult hurdles for a manager geek to jump, and can our personality be used as an advantage in management?"
Employee hammocks!
If someone says he and his monkey have nothing to hide, they almost certainly do.
Athletic Scholarships to universities make as much sense as academic scholarships to sports teams.
My problem is: I have no formal (or any other, for that matter) management training.
Everything I ever needed to know about management, I learned from Dilbert.
Now, granted, I don't actually have a job. . . .
When things get complex, multiply by the complex conjugate.
That will affirm your dominant position and noone will question your authority.
Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
No way. First thing, stop calling them "normals." It brings their hopes up and offends management. Call them peons, grunts, minions, or human resources, all of which are suitably devaluing. In addition, you should refrain from calling your minions by names. Make them all get numbers tatooed to their foreheads and refer to them by those.
Replace coffee with electric shocks as a wake up.
Reward failure with ever increasing voltage electric shocks, administered through the seat of the minions whenever you see fit.
Reward success by allowing a minion to skip their morning electric shock.
Use the shocks, verbal abuse, and threats of layoff to convince your minions that you are superior in all ways. The ones who have become convinced can then be given tazers of their own in order to opress the rest of the office. This will lead to your eventual rise to become the SHOEO of the company (supreme high overlord executive officer).
At this point you can then install all the latest accompaniments afforded to the average SHOEO: the harem, the trap door into the pirhana pit, and, of course, the evil talisman of layoff (I know, most non-SHOEOs don't know about that - essentially, it magically steals job security from others to make it's user virtually impossible to fire, while simultaneously eliminating those pesky do-gooders).
Of course, as a geek, you can add your own embellishments. To go with my PC, I have a Beowulf Cluster of Pain, and USB Flash of lightning generator. Oh, all the cameras and devices - including the lights are hooked directly to my cluster via X10 technology so that I can make sure that nobody exceeds their light or enjoyment ration.
It's a good job if you do it right.
Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
These are folks who refuse to get on board unless they are the whip master in their fuedal world.
also be awake for the super polite nay-sayers, who drive everyone else batty.
Be aware: goals have their dependencies as well.
Example: PHB thinks project is almost done because the GUI is finished. Reality is that gui was done first because it's the easiest to do, now all the rest of the work has to be done.
Solution: implement a series of graphics so that the gui reflects the state of completeness. example: use color and 3d effects only for 100% done, greyscale everything else. 3d effects only on things 75% done, etc.
Example: Always send an appropriate ack to the person you are talking with to indicate you got what they were saying. An appropriate ack could be head shake, grunt, verbal, back pat, etc. Key word is appropriate.
Example: Implementing error correction at the verbal level, recheck to verify that data was received correctly on both side of a conversation. You would be surprised how badly this can go off the rails.
"It is a greater offense to steal men's labor, than their clothes"
First off, I'd suggest buying "Seven Habits of Highly Successful People", and NOT read it. Burn it, it's a great symbolic gesture. (*) This document does so not so much by answering the question, but by making it painfully obvious to the questioner that we don't have a clue to what the answer is. -Linus Benedict Torvalds
Senthil