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Revenge for the Foil Apartment?
GooseKirk asks: "Just over a year ago, my apartment was completely covered in foil. For some reason, this resulted in global media attention, and ever since, people have been asking me, "what are you doing for revenge?" A few great ideas fell through for various reasons (Ron Jeremy was booked, apparently), and sadly, I currently lack access to an orbital weapons platform, so let me pose this riddle to the great Slashdot collective: if you were going to cook enough popcorn to effectively, and let's say hypothetically, bury a small single-story building, how would you cook it and how would you deliver it, quickly and quietly, say, under cover of darkness? At the least, I think it's an interesting puzzle, and other wacky ideas are certainly welcome... just remember, people, mum's the word, OK?"
My Dad and his friends actually did this to a guy in college using a surplus WW2 jeep. Back then (early 50s) you could buy these jeeps still in the crate for like $100. I bet that was a fun weekend
Of course, today's cars are a lot more difficult. Though I rate the feasibility of this at about the same level as pointing enough DirectTV dishes at a house full of orville redenbacher.
Maybe fill the place up with thousands of balloons. Only have the occasional balloon full of shaving cream instead of air. When he goes pop-crazy he will get quite the surprise. Rub it in his face and even provide a pin.
NIPCO makes a liquid (disel) fuel heater that forces air with an electric fan. This can be vented through a metal container, such as a garbage can, containing un-popped popcorn and used like an air-popper. The exhaust, if properly tuned should carry popped kernels (lower density than unpopped) out to a destination. This exhaust, if enough air is applied to prevent jamming, could then be directed through a length of dryer vent tubing (think giant slinky with plastic) to the top of a home.
Good luck!
Trying to use sarcasm in text-based forums does not work.
Use cardboard to build little boxes 'round the doors and windows so you only have to use a fraction of the amount of popcorn to make it look like you've filled the place.
Your only costs are the corn, and bags for each participant. No delivery truck, no fancy heaters, etc.
I think you are talking about two separate kinds of disasters both with very little relation to the poster's situation. Sawdust fires/explosions are the result of igniting minute particles. I doubt that popcorn would produce enough concentration to be flamable. Hay bales self igniting is caused by fermentation of wet densely packed material. Popped popcorn is not densely packed nor wet and unpopped kernals are at an optimum 13 percent moisture. They will keep indefinatly at that moisture level and they need about that much to pop.
I'm no explosives expert, but I've done grain elevator PLC work in the past, and while dusty, they weren't NEAR as dusty as you say. This happened a few years ago to a grain elevator not unlike the ones I was in.
LOAD "SIG",8,1
LOADING...
READY.
RUN
First of all you roll up your sleeves, because you are determined to succede or die trying.
;)
You would best:
1. Plan to make the popcorn at the house
2. Fill the house interior
3. Use 2-3 days to get the job done.
4. Get an insider to cooperate.
The logistics of transporting several tens of thousand cubic feet of popped corn is too expensive. Transporting the corn unpopped is much less conspicuous. Same reason for filling the interior. He probably has neighbors who would call the cops, so you need to do this inside the house so everything looks fine from the outside.
Imagine his face when he opens his front door and finds a wall of popcorn. It's no fun if he saw it a mile away and you didn't get to see the reaction.
It would probably be a good idea to do it while he's away for a weekend or some such time. That would give you plenty of time to set up your gear and pop the corn. This creates a need for an insider who knows his travel plans, a brother or mutual friend. I'm guessing that you already have a copy of the house key to get in...
I'm guessing that both a hot air popper and a microwave are too slow and/or messy.
I think a 200 litre oil drum as a pot (maybe cut in half) over a gas heater in the back yard is best.
You will need to have an efficient way of emptying the popcorn and putting more corn into the pot without the popcorn burning in the meantime.
Some sort of air suction device could be used to empty the popcorn from the pot. Something like the insulation blower someone else mentioned. That way you also have an efficient delivery system you could use to fill every crevice of every room with popcorn. Perhaps a leaf blower and wheelbarrow is sufficient (cheaper).
The unpopped corn should be heavy enough to stay at the bottom where it will eventually pop and be sucked out. I will leave it up to you to figure out what to do with the kernels that don't pop...
There you have it, a complete, DOABLE, plan.
Hope you post the pictures for our amusement...
Ever see the experiment (Mr Wizard, I think) with hundreds of mousetraps, all with rubber balls on the flippy bit to demonstrate chain reactions?
:) You might want to be nice & put safety goggles where they will be entering...
I've seen Mousetraps 4/$1 at the dollar stores before - with a couple thousand mousetraps, you could rig the building to just go horribly wrong
Much of this would require access to the home in question.
:) And you can put everything back just like it was with fairly minimal effort - the paint being the biggest issue. But hey, maybe they needed to paint the living room anyway.
Needed: 1 Actor/ess the mark doesn't know as the 'Host'
1 Cameraman (needs professional *looking* gear)
1 Sound guy (boom with a dustbunny-looking mike on it)
1 Producer. Optional, but would add to the realism.
1 Designer. Optional, but could be a very fun part for someone to play. Coked out, drunken, wearing thrift store castoffs, whatever.
While the mark is at work/out of town/whatever, do a 'remodel' on the living room. Carefully remove & store all their furniture. Proceed to create the 'Gallery of Ill-Advised DIY'. Watch a lot of the designer shows on HGTV & such for inspiration.
Produce a godawful paint scheme - bonus points for poor application of same. Find the absolute cheapest fire-sale irregular $.12 per yard vinyl sheet flooring you can. Bonus for Avocado or Gold. Put it down before painting, it'll even protect the (real) floor!
Produce a large variety of craft projects (could be done far in advance). I'm thinking of branches from the backyard hot-glued together into a shapeless "Sculpture". Make lamps out of things that shouldn't be - Keyboards, a 7 watt night light that weighs 80 lbs (dead monitor?), that sort of thing.
Find consignment shop furniture that looks as much like theirs as possible. Paint it. Apply glitter. Do whatever nasty things you can think of to 'improve' it. Make them think it's the *original* furniture beneath the burlap-and-pinecone treatment.
When they come home, the camera, sound, and host ambush the mark. Have signs for your imaginary show "Ambush Home Makeover!" or "Dirt Cheap DIY" - have a network 'affiliated' with it - DIY, BBC47, Public access. Think Low, low, low budget. The host actor would have to be good, introducing them to the show & concept, talking about all the work their friend (you) put in to it...before doing the big reveal.
The best part is that you get the reaction on film if you keep them from guessing the truth