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Six Laws of the New Software

Posted by CowboyNeal on from the listen-to-the-law dept.

LordFoom writes "Still suffering from post-dotcom stress disorder, I keep my eye out for gentle balm to sooth my ravaged psyche. The manifestos at ChangeThis are not it. The most popular manifestos range from irritating to enlightening, with none of them particularly comforting. In particular the recent Six Laws of the New Software have done my dreams of writing lucrative code no good - although it has changed my idea of what money-making code is."

13 of 313 comments (clear)

  1. The first law of new software... by neuro.slug · · Score: 4, Funny

    The first law of new software is you do NOT talk about new software.

    The second law of new software is...

    C'mon, somebody had to say it.

  2. Re:In a nutshell by cyber_rigger · · Score: 5, Funny

    7. Don't post a link on /. to your development machine.

  3. Re:In a nutshell by jsprat · · Score: 4, Funny

    2. Keep it simple
    3. Keep it small
    4. You're not gonna be the next Microsoft
    5. Do many releases
    6. Comply with relevant standards

    That's 5 laws... What's the sixth?

    Profit?
  4. Re:In a nutshell by winkydink · · Score: 3, Funny

    Simple covers 2. I simplified. :)

    --

    "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

  5. The REAL 6 laws of code writing.... by Hobadee · · Score: 3, Funny

    1. Make sure it's impossible to use.
    2. Make sure it's buggy.
    3. Make sure it's unsecure.
    4. Market the hell out of it. (Making sure to state how great and secure it is.)
    5. ???
    6. Profit!

    --
    ...Had this been an actual emergency, we would have fled in terror, and you would not have been informed.
    1. Re:The REAL 6 laws of code writing.... by michaeldot · · Score: 4, Funny

      1. Make sure it's impossible to use.
      2. Make sure it's buggy.
      3. Make sure it's unsecure.
      4. Market the hell out of it. (Making sure to state how great and secure it is.)
      5. ???
      6. Profit!

      Very interesting, but you've clearly cut & pasted that from Microsoft's employees manual, in violation of your NDA.

      Prepare for a visit from the lawyers.

  6. HOWTO: Subscribe to parent's newsletter by SlimFastForYou · · Score: 3, Funny

    Step 1: Get rope
    Step 2: Tie it in a noose
    Step 3: Get a chair and stand on it
    Step 4: Tie other end of rope to ceiling fan
    Step 5: Put noose over head, snugly over neck
    Step 6: Kick chair out from under yourself
    Step 7: ???
    Step 8: Newsletter!

    *Poster does not endorce subscriptions to this newsletter.

  7. Re:HOWTO: Subscribe to parent's newsletter by Radio+Shack+Robot · · Score: 3, Funny

    Your ideas sound intriguing. How can I subscribe to your newsletter?

    --

    Beep. Boop. Beep. You have questions. I have answers and your home address.
  8. Re:pdftotext by complete+loony · · Score: 4, Funny

    That article didn't affect me whatsoever.
    Right I'm off to print a test page.

    --
    09F91102 no, 455FE104 nope, F190A1E8 uh-uh, 7A5F8A09 that's not it, C87294CE no. Ah! 452F6E403CDF10714E41DFAA257D313F.
  9. Re:pdftotext by coopaq · · Score: 5, Funny

    Would everyone just GO AHEAD AND PRINT this already!!!

  10. Subliminal humor? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can't helpGO AHEAD AND PRINT THISfeeling that some kind of backgrounds wont print on paper subliminal message are only visible on-screen to aid readability is embedded in this This manifesto this post.

  11. Six Laws of Perpetual Software Contracts by saddino · · Score: 4, Funny

    /* todo: add six laws here */

  12. Re:In a nutshell by darkpixel2k · · Score: 5, Funny

    The sixth rule of the new software is: you do not talk about the new software!

    --
    There's no place like ::1 (I've completed my transition to IPv6)