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If The Problem Persists, Reboot The Car

prostoalex writes "Ever-increasing presence of high-tech devices in modern cars is a double-edged sword, the New York Times discovers. Software from different suppliers brings up to some peculiar bugs, such as a heater turning itself on during a hot summer day. In December last year ABI Research estimated that roughly 30% of all warranty issues with new cars were microprocessor- and software-related. The NYT article also quotes an interesting prediction from IBM, saying that by 2010 almost all cars will have the same mechanical systems (hardware), and the differences will be primarily on software level." (That prediction seems as accurate as the IBM prediction that there was a worldwide market for 10 or so computers.)

10 of 455 comments (clear)

  1. Old joke by bigtallmofo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Reminds me of a joke...

    A mechanic, an engineer and a programmer are driving down the road in a car when suddenly it stalls out. The mechanic gets out, checks out the engine and comes back into the car to report that it's going to be a few hours of work to fix it. The engineer leaves the car to check out the problem and comes back to report that he can design a fix that should only take about an hour. Upon hearing that, the programmer says, "Hey, let's first all get out of the car, get back into it and just see if it works then."

    --
    I'm a big tall mofo.
    1. Re:Old joke by Apathetic1 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Your joke reminds me of another joke...

      A mechanic, an engineer and a PC support technician are driving along a winding mountain road when suddenly the brakes overheat and fail and the car goes screaming downhill towards a dropoff. The mechanic, who's driving, manages to bring the car to a halt near the brink of the precipice. The three passengers are shaken but unharmed.

      The mechanic looks at the problem and says "These brakes need replacing, they're worn out."

      The engineer looks over the design and says "There's a design flaw in these brakes, they're not resistant enough to heat."

      The support tech looks at the other two and says "Hey, let's push the car back to the top of the hill and see if it does it again."

      --

      My username does not make me Apathetic. It's irony, get it?

    2. Re:Old joke by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

      Swiped from Plastic's Joke fest:

      So an engineer is driving along when her car skids off a bridge and she plunges to an untimely demise. Immediately upon passing, the engineer sinks to hell.

      After spending a very short time in hell, the engineer figures out several ways to make life more comfortable and presents them to Satan. Satan is very impressed having not met very many engineers previously, and within weeks he has overseen the installation of air conditioners, escalators, and wi-fi.

      Next week at God and Satans regular golf game, Satan brags about how life in hell is getting very comfortable, like an underworld country club. God is visibly perturbed by this: "What? Where did you get an Engineer? There must be some mistake."

      They check the records and sure enough the Engineer was supposed to go to heaven, but was diverted by a clerical error.

      So God says "Give me back my engineer or I'll sue!"

      To which Satan responds "And just where are you going to find a lawyer?"

  2. 2010... by Faust7 · · Score: 5, Funny

    by 2010 almost all cars will have the same mechanical systems (hardware), and the differences will be primarily on software level.

    At that point, we'll be too distracted by Jupiter turning into a star to really notice.

  3. If it ain't broke put in a computer and wait by alex_guy_CA · · Score: 4, Funny

    Cars getting buggy computers is bad enough. I'm worried about the planes! gives new meaning to "blue screen of death."

    1. Re:If it ain't broke put in a computer and wait by Master+of+Transhuman · · Score: 4, Funny


      Would have been worse if it came back up reporting TWO copies of the flight plan... ...like Windows XP does when you "fix" the boot configuration menu...

      Fucking morons at Microsoft can't even re-generate a fucking text file properly...something LILO has been doing for ten years...

      OR...if the "fix" didn't "take" at all...as when Windows XP does not retain your wallpaper setting and insists on tiling everything even when you told it on the settings panel to center, damnit, CENTER!

      --
      Richard Steven Hack - This sig is TOO GODDAMN SHORT TO DO ANYTHING USEFUL WITH! MORONS!
    2. Re:If it ain't broke put in a computer and wait by sharkey · · Score: 4, Funny
      Select which airliner you would like to boot:

      1. Boeing 757
      2. Boeing 757 - Last Known Good Airframe
      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  4. 2010 Car of /. by defishguy · · Score: 4, Funny

    1. It will NOT have Windows (tm) anywhere on the vehicle.
    2. The hood ornament will be a cute penguin.
    3. The first bumper sticker reads "In Soviet Russia..."
    4. The second bumper sticker reads "Yes this car is part of a beowulf cluster!"
    5. The engine will be listed as a 886 or 986 model, and you'll have a lot of dependencies like fuel versions and so on.

  5. Re:Old Cars Are Better Than Computerized Cars by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They are also immune to electromagnetic pulse should a nuclear bomb go off.

    Personally, I look for gas milage, reliability and comfort, but each to their own....

  6. Tech Support For Cars by teckjunkie · · Score: 5, Funny

    Anyone who does tech support is aware of how incompetant people can be at times. Here's an email I recieved that sounds like it relates to this topic:


    HELPLINE: 'General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?'
    CUSTOMER: 'I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing happened!'
    HELPLINE: 'Did you put the key in the ignition and turn it?'
    CUSTOMER: 'What's an ignition?'
    HELPLINE: 'It's a starter motor that draws current from your battery and turns over the engine.'
    CUSTOMER: 'Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to know all of these technical terms just to use my car?'

    --------
    HELPLINE: 'General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?'
    CUSTOMER: 'My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go anywhere!'
    HELPLINE: 'Is the gas tank empty?'
    CUSTOMER: 'Huh? How do I know?'
    HELPLINE: 'There's a little gauge on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F'. Where is the needle pointing?'
    CUSTOMER: 'I see an 'E' but no 'F'.'
    HELPLINE: 'You see the 'E' and just to the right is the 'F'.
    CUSTOMER: 'No, just to the right of the first 'E' is a 'V'.
    HELPLINE: 'A 'V'?!?'
    CUSTOMER: 'Yeah, there's a 'C', an 'H', the first 'E', then a 'V', followed by 'R', 'O', and 'L' ...'
    HELPLINE: 'No, no, no sir! That's the front of the car. When you sit behind the steering wheel, that's the panel I'm talking about.'
    CUSTOMER: 'That steering wheel thingy. Is that the round thing that honks the horn?'
    HELPLINE: 'Yes, among other things.'
    CUSTOMER: 'The needle's pointing to 'E'. What does that mean?'
    HELPLINE: 'It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor and purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay the vendor to install it for you.'
    CUSTOMER: 'What? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that comes with everything built in!'


    ------------
    HELPLINE: 'General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?'
    CUSTOMER: 'Your cars suck!'
    HELPLINE: 'What's wrong?'
    CUSTOMER: 'It crashed, that's what went wrong!'
    HELPLINE: 'What were you doing?'
    CUSTOMER: 'I wanted to go faster, so I pushed the accelerator pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then it crashed-and now it won't even start up!'
    HELPLINE: 'I'm sorry, sir, but it's your responsibility if you misuse the product.'
    CUSTOMER: 'Misuse it? I was just following this damned manual of yours. It said to make the car go to put the transmission in 'D' and press the accelerator pedal. That's exactly what I did-now the damn thing's crashed.'
    HELPLINE: 'Did you read the entire operator's manual before operating the car sir?'
    CUSTOMER: 'What? Of course I did! I told you I did EVERYTHING the manual said and it didn't work!'
    HELPLINE: 'Didn't you attempt to slow down so you wouldn't cash?'
    CUSTOMER: 'How do you do THAT?'
    HELPLINE: 'You said you read the entire manual, sir. It's on page 14. The pedal next to the accelerator.'
    CUSTOMER: 'Well, I don't have all day to sit around and read this manual you know.'
    HELPLINE: 'Of course not. What do you expect us to do about it?'
    CUSTOMER: 'I want you to send me one of the latest versions that goes fast and won't crash anymore!'

    ---------------
    HELPLINE: 'General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?'
    CUSTOMER: 'Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power steering, power brakes, and power door locks.'
    HELPLINE: 'Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?'
    CUSTOMER: 'How do I work it?'
    HELPLINE: 'Do you know how to drive?'
    CUSTOMER: 'Do I know how to what?'
    HELPLINE: 'Do you know how to DRIVE?'
    CUSTOMER: 'I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places in my car!'


    It's a pretty good laugh