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Genetic Engineers Barking Up the Wrong Trees?

Rick the Red writes "In a commentary titled 'Genetic engineering for better suburbia', Vincent Barnes says, 'Cures for diseases and feeding the world with genetically modified foods is well and good but the real money is in solving the problems of homeowners, the vast silent majority of Americans who toil away every spring and summer fighting pests and every fall injuring their backs and falling off ladders.' Should Monsanto bring us designer maples that don't shed leaves? Would you buy designer grass that grows two inches and stops? Even if you won't eat GM food?"

25 of 336 comments (clear)

  1. Barking?! by FunWithHeadlines · · Score: 4, Funny
    "Genetic Engineers Barking Up the Wrong Trees?"

    If those scientists are going up to trees and barking, I think they've been doing a little genetic engineering on themselves on the side. Woof!

  2. Wishful thinking of the under educated. by BobPaul · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This article isn't really worth your time. The blurb really says it all. His only really good idea is that genetic engineering could be useful closer to home, but his examples are really nothing more than wishful impossibilities.

    For example:
    Surely some genetic feature of a non-deciduous tree could be implanted in maples so that one may enjoy all the reds and yellows but not the stupefying task of raking and cleaning out gutters. In the spring, the leaves could turn green again and the cycle would repeat so that a sense of seasonal change isn't lost, only my backache.

    He obviously understands the process by which die, causing them to turn colors and fall off, since he knows that if leaves don't die and turn colors then plants would loose devastating amounts of water durring the winter period. However, he somehow wants those leaves to come back to life when spring hits. I don't care how many genes shift around, it's going to take nothing more than voodoo magic to both kill the leaves so they change color, and make them come back to life.

    The best you could do is get a nice waxy coating on the leaves so they can stay green all year without drying the tree out, or make them stick tighter to the brances so they fall off slowly throughout the winter rather than all at once in the fall, with stragglers falling out like loose teeth as new leaves budded underneith them.

    From this point the article goes completely downhill. He doesn't even mention actual possibilities, like removing the gene that causes cat to produce dander people are allergic to (something that already is recieving lots of research money.)

    1. Re:Wishful thinking of the under educated. by cyocum · · Score: 5, Informative

      I think you miss the irony of the column. The last paragraph says it all:

      Surely it would not be difficult to shift this gene here and that gene there and come up with permanently blooming azaleas, rhodies, and camellias. Then, the only difference between winter and spring would be the temperature. But not to worry. Global warming will take care of that, too

      This was a subtle satire of the suburbinite mentality about technology. It was not ment as a serious set of ideas.

    2. Re:Wishful thinking of the under educated. by AttillaTheNun · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Does anyone ever stop and think, "gee, where did all the fireflies go?"
      or the frogs, chipmunks, birds, salamanders, butterflies, ... I could go on.
      How many people know what a firefly is these days? We've decimated our ecology by removing the natural vegetation from our front and back yards in some stupid quest for the perfect lawn: uniform, monoculter, weed and pest free.
      Then we wonder where all the wildlife went (we killed their homes and removed their food) or why the summers keep getting hotter every year (we've replaced shading, cooling trees with lawn and concrete, or why the air quality sucks so badly and little Timmy has lung cancer and has to breath from a fucking oxygen tank (we've polluted our lawns with chemicals pushed from an industry that doesn't give a fuck about your kids - only your money).
      These genetic monstrosities (if they were ever to become even remotely possible) do nothing to restore the ecosystem that we and our animals friends rely on to survive.
      Get educated about the environment and the small part you can do to restore the remaining fragments. Even your little patch of lawn can make a difference.
      wild ones
      green landscaping
      plant conservation alliance

  3. Missing the point by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Informative

    ....I think the above posters (and probably most readers) are missing the point that the article is clearly meant as satire - not very well-executed satire, but satire nonetheless.

  4. Screw GM food ... by YankeeInExile · · Score: 5, Funny

    Get them working on producing a GM human-female that thinks that stanky basementgeeks are supersexy. They can come in several variants -- the scrawny goth, the buxom blond, the dominatrix redhead ... They'd make a billion....

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  5. No by Bastian · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Should Monsanto bring us designer maples that don't shed leaves? Would you buy designer grass that grows two inches and stops? Even if you won't eat GM food?

    The answer is still NO. The issue with GM plants is that GM corporations have proven time and time again that they are not being in the remotest bit responsible for what they are producing. They take GM plants that have not been anywhere near adequately tested, and let them out in the wild, where they crossbreed with other plants freely. They have absolutely no clue if they are about to create the next kudzu, and they don't appear to give a damn if they do, either. (Heck, they'd probably see one of their plants getting out of control and taking over everywhere as a gold mine!) And don't forget that it's Monsanto that gave us the Terminator Gene.

    No thanks. My life depends on plant life, so I'd prefer if people didn't wantonly muck with it. What was that old saying about people who live in glass houses throwing stones?

    1. Re:No by Bastian · · Score: 4, Interesting

      The problem with the Terminator Gene is that there was talk of (and specimens of) versions of it where the plants that have it cannot produce offspring on their own, but they can cross-pollinate with plants that do not have the gene to produce offspring that do have the gene.

      The plan was that you could introduce plants with the gene in an area, let nature do its thing, and suddenly have all the farmers in the area be forced to buy seed from you every year instead of using seed from last year's crop.

      Yes, Monsanto has publicly said they will never release their sterile-seed technology to the market, but only after major international outcry, the fact that they even gave this plan serious consideration, let alone fleshed it out and let the world know they were thinking it, shows that there are some exceptionally evil people at the controls of that corporation.

  6. Autumn Anyone? by Jameth · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Should Monsanto bring us designer maples that don't shed leaves?"

    I love to wade through the leaves that cover the sidewalks, you insensitive clod. If they remove my town's glorious autumn splendor, I'm moving to Canada.

  7. Yes! by imuffin · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Of course I would! I really don't understand those who fear GM food. It's not like the cows, or even the corn we eat now, is "natural." Most of our food has been selectively bred for centuries. The result is the same mucking-with-genes, just much more slowly than genetic engineering promises.

    If you refuse to eat beef because of moral reasons (I understand that there are lots of legitimate reasons not to eat beef--but I'm concentrating on the "oh, poor cow" reason), then would you be willing to eat beef grown in a cow body that was born with no brain whatsoever and kept alive by machines? You'd be eating beef, but it would've been grown like a vegetable. Most of the vegetarians I've asked say they would sooner eat a real cow than my genetically engineered monster. But why? How is it really any different from any of the food products we're created for ourselves over the centuries?

    Personally, I'd much rather have GM food than beef that has been fllled to the brim with hormones to to make the "natural" animal perform better. And I'd be first in line to buy trees and grass.

    The lameness filter is complaining about junk characters. What are junk characters? Did that question mark just count? Will this block of text make this message ok? ---------------------
    watch funny commercials.

    1. Re:Yes! by dmayle · · Score: 4, Insightful

      The problem with GM food has has nothing to do with fear of mutant food. The problem with GM food is the introduction of this horrific system of intellectual property.<sneer/>

      America has become less and less of an industrial producer and more and more based on the service industry. How does a service industry nation support itself? By living off of other industrial nations. How do we get them to support us? By convincing them that our ideas are worth paying for. We've been doing this with TV, movies, and music for some time, as well as technological ideas, but as these industries are maturing in other nations, we need more things that foreign countries will pay us for.

      This is why the U.S. is so insistent on giving G.M. food as aid. Once it's in the country, the poor farmers will have no choice but to be beholden to the IP owners for the rest of their lives, something which I find particularly disgusting.

      Monsanto (a Canadian company) has been trying the razor/blade model (GM food/pesticide), but they've hit the jackpot! They've invented a razor that turns all neighboring razors into the same kind of razor!

      Once you drop the IP restrictions on GM food, there are no complaints, but there are also no reasons to try and force it on anyone either, and it becomes a moot point. Life IS open source, and most people want to keep it that way.

  8. Re:Personally... by torpor · · Score: 4, Insightful

    so why don't you just move into an apartment, then?

    sheesh, i can't help but despair at the utter decadence of some people. whats wrong with cutting the grass? its a grand activity, supposed to remind you of the vigors of life.. same with chasing snakes! i do that for fun!

    honest, are we all becoming cyborgs? ew!! get a life!

    --
    ; -- the corruption of government starts with its secrets. a truly free people keep no secrets. --
  9. Butterflies and hurricanes. by Leroy_Brown242 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    So, people start using grass and other pants that are geneticly engineered plants. What sort of impact is this going to have on the local insect population? YOu might not care if there are less bugs, but the fish in your local streams and rivers might care quite a bit. Also the other critters that eat the fish could be impacted.

  10. Would the perfect height grass be edible? by saskboy · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I mean, could rumanants like cows eat the grass, and would it cross pollenate with normal grass, to create another weed? Would it invade gardens?

    There are oodles of ethical questions to be answered BEFORE releasing a GM product into the wild. Profit is not the bottom line in the real world.

    Microsoft is well known for making software that is popular in suberbia, but it's also known for being insecure, and a scourge on the Internet if plugged in unpatched. Releasing "perfect height" grass into the wild is much more dangerous than releasing an unpatched operating system. The consequences to the ecosystem aren't as simple as unplugging every Windows computer from the Internet and cleaning the worms off of them, or blocking ports.

    --
    Saskboy's blog is good. 9 out of 10 dentists agree.
  11. Not if its patented by argoff · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The problem isn't genetic technology, it is who controlls genetic technology. If you get rid of that unhealthy controll (PATENTS!), then lots of good things will happen with it naturally.

    I don't have a problem with uning genetic technology for anything, what I have a problem with is that if someone controlls a specific piece of genetic technology - then they have a strong incentive to push/impose it even if it is not in my best interest. People are what they hold themselves accountable to, if Acme company has a patnet on a technology that sucks - they will push that technology even if they have the capability to make something far safer or better - that's just the way it is in a patent world. You can see this hapening in the pharmacutical industry all the time nowdays.

  12. Forget designer, I'll take resistant by thpr · · Score: 3, Insightful
    Would you buy designer grass that grows two inches and stops? Even if you won't eat GM food?

    No, but I'd be the first on my block to buy an Elm tree resistant to dutch elm disease or an American Chestnut tree resistant to blight.

  13. Yup, and don't forget fear by InternationalCow · · Score: 3, Informative

    See all of the above. As a geneticist, I'm actually an avid proponent of genetic engineering. Hell, we should engineer anything we can get our hands on as long as it is for something that we can profit from: plants producing enzymes that cure otherwise incurable disorders, plants that do not need pesticides, animals that carry humanized organs... People who fear genetic engineering do so out of ignorance mostly. They do not realize that our efforts are piss-poor compared to what Nature is doing to all genetic material of all living organisms every day.
    That said, I do not believe for a single second that genetic engineering will reach the home owner any time soon. Having to do something in the garden can actually be enjoyable, you know. But seriously, however useful it may be, you can betcher sweet *ss that green activists (Greenpeace comes to mind) will sow such fear and hate that GE organisms will not be available for common use for a long time to come. Who do you think came up with the term "Frankenfood"? Go tell to the poor kids who eat Golden Rice that genetic engineering is bad. And, to any fanatic who might be reading this post, before you embark on yet another hate-trip, please check here for a well-balanced discussion of the issue. Hunger is caused in large part by issues other than innate defects in Nature's gifts, but many of those are issues that are not going to be solved any time soon. You can be fundamentalistic about this or you can be realistic. Poor people loose in the first case.

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    ----- One learns to itch where one can scratch.
  14. Genetic Marketing by Doc+Ruby · · Score: 4, Interesting

    Genetic engineering is just like any other engineering: companies promise features, features, features, and ignore the bugs. GM's fundamental bugs, like proliferation, unintended consequences, ecosystem competition and unknown risks, have never been adequately addressed. The difference is that this engineering is messing with our ecosystem, upon which all life, especially ours, depends. We can't just roll back from a failed rollout. More GM marketing, rather than science to eliminate those risks, shows that the danger is just increasing.

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    make install -not war

  15. Absolutely! by TodPunk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Should Monsanto bring us designer maples that don't shed leaves? Would you buy designer grass that grows two inches and stops?

    Yes, and um, yes. Please even. While they're at it, lets get some trees that make more oxygen so I can stop feeling bad for cutting down the rain forest. I'd also like a dog that doesn't have to eat or poop, ferns for the house that I don't need to water so often, and a gerbil that can power my PC as long as I give it some sugar every now and then.

    --
    This forum Sig is licensed under the LGPL.
  16. Nope. by SubtleNuance · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I have spend the first 5years of homeownership burying, removing and killing my lawn and other popularily cultivated plants.

    they have all been replaced with stands of a variety of indigenous plants, shrubs, grasses and trees.

    My brownstone-townhouse has a 'small' corner lot, but ive got mayapples, ferns, jackinpulpits, many trees, shrubs, etc etc etc etc.

    not in a million years would i buy such stupidity. Im trying to diversify the plant life to support a greater diversity of insects, birds and animals.

    This idea is as stupid as the moron who waters, fertilizes and mows his kentucky-blue-grass wasteland.

    Absolute stupidity.

  17. I already did... by wowbagger · · Score: 4, Insightful
    Would you buy designer grass that grows two inches and stops?


    I already did - it is called "Buffalo grass", and is a native grass of the midwestern region. Once established, it needs little water, and will not grow very tall.

    In this particular case, there is little need for gengineering, just for people to realize that the brilliant green of fescue grass is not needed, and the more muted green of buffalo is just as good.
  18. Don't trust the drug companies by evenprime · · Score: 3, Informative
    Companies don't really care if they fix things. It is foolish to think that they will do anything but seek profit. The only genetic engineering they will conduct will be to create organisms they can continue to get money from. Consider the case of monsanto, the makers of the popular roundup herbicide/weedkiller. Monsanto funded genetic engineering of crops, but they didn't create crops that were resistant to pests and disease. Instead, they created crops that are resistant to their Roundup weedkiller. The idea is that now farmers who want to control pests can use more Roundup on their crops than they could before, without the crops being harmed as used to happen.

    The gene-altered variety, GT200, was approved for production in Canada but not in the United States because Monsanto decided to market a slightly different variety, known as RT73, Wassell said. Both varieties are engineered to be immune to Monsanto's powerful Roundup weedkiller.


    Do you want more info? If so, just google for "Starlink", the marketing name for Monstanto's chemical resistant crops.

    They could have created a crop that would have reduced the amount of poisons we dump into the environment. Instead, they created one that allows us to use more poisons. Why? Well, you don't expect a chemical company to help us reduce the need for chemicals, do you?

    --

    "Weapons should be hardy rather than decorative" - Miyamoto Musashi
    I think that goes for OS's too
  19. Grass that grows 2 inches by bigredmed · · Score: 3, Informative

    Don't need genetic engineering here. Already got that by breeding in the conventional manner.
    Buffalo grass varietal called "Tatanka". Great grass for lawns. Left to its own, it will grow about 3 inches in a season, so it usually gets mowed once or twice a year.

    Alternatively, we could always get the good folks in Ca, Nev, AZ, and NM to realize that they are living in Deserts and blue grass just doesn't belong there.

  20. Re:Hmm by Theatetus · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Should we focus our money on massively increasing food production

    Why? We already produce about 5 times the world's caloric intake with current agricultural techniques. This is one of Monsatan's huge lies: that people are starving because not enough food is being made.

    Lack of food production is not why people are starving. People are starving because corrupt government use food as a weapon against their own population. Increasing food production won't help that; it may even make it worse because the food supply will be even more centrally controlled.

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    All's true that is mistrusted
  21. Re:Personally... by flyingsquid · · Score: 3, Funny
    I personally hate mowing my lawn, however killing pests is a great opportunity to bring out the ol' katana and have some fun... it's like a small party and it really freaks out the neighbors.

    Agreed. Nothing like a warm Sunday afternoon with a beer in one hand and a katana in the other, chasin' after gophers. Hell, not even the damn Jehovah's Witnesses pester me anymore! 'Course, my lawn is littered with baseballs, frisbees and other toys that the neighbors kids are too afraid to come and get...