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Man Finds $1,000 Prize in EULA
bhtooefr writes "When Doug Heckman was installing a PC Pitstop program, he actually read the EULA. In it, he found a clause stating that he could get financial compensation if he e-mailed PC Pitstop. The result: a $1,000 check, and proof that people don't read EULAs (3,000 people before him didn't notice it). The goal of this was to prove that one should read all EULAs, so that one can see if an app is spyware if it is buried in the EULA."
Don't know if it's worth 1,000.
The safest way to approach lava is to have another person with you and he goes first.
From now on, I'm at least doing Ctrl-F, 1,000
Mmmm. That's a tough one, but I'll have to pass on the $1,000.
Too many look like that Gator one - pages and pages of gobbledy-gook and mumbo jumbo which ultimately translate to all your base are belong to us.
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
I'm still waiting for my scale model replica Herbie The Love Bug that I was supposed to receive after mailing in 15 Cheerios box tops in 1974.
I read my Win2000 SP4 EULA and found out that I owe THEM $1000. Those jerks still haven't cashed my check, either.
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
In Steve Mann's award winning paper he describes a technique he calls Ouijagree. The next time you are presented with an EULA, grab three nearby people (family members, fellow employees) and have them gentle place their fingers on the mouse. Add your own fingers and then call upon the spirits to agree to the EULA. Watch! as the mouse slowly glides from its current position, possibily spelling out the names of lost loved ones, as it approaches the I Agree button. Should it linger over the button too long, feel free to click yourself as the spirits have made their intention clear. Now it is not you who has agreed to that EULA, it's your long dead great grandfather, who came from beyond the grave to take away your legal responsibility.
How we know is more important than what we know.
Now, flightdeck was the most boring game you could imagine, and one night after a hard days work a couple of guys sat in the place where we worked and decided to liven things up a bit. Every so many thousand games one of the elevators in the carrier would go down, a guy would stand on it, the elevator would go up again, he'd strip on the deck and jump off the ship...
This lead to the most baffling support calls of people that really could literally not believe that they'd just seen what they'd seen, and of course we never let the support guys in on the joke...
to give you an idea of how long ago this was, the atari ST was the best machine you could get for little $, 68 K assembler was the way to go for fast games and the Dire Straits had just released "Brothers in Arms"
MP3 Search Engine
SAILING MISHAP
has small print on the back stating that by endorsing that check, he agreed to switch his long distance carrier to Siberian Porn & Bell, he provided his bank account number to the entire country of Nigeria, and his testicles will be fed to contestants on Fear Factor.
I'm not convinced that the people who include EULA's in their products even read them. There is clearly a lot of cutting and pasting that goes on. I find lots of bizarre threats about infringement and exclusivity attached to unsupported free products. One Eula had changed the warranty section to read: "by agreeing to this license, you are granted a warranty for a period of zero (0) days.", rather than just change the language to indicate that their was no warranty.
Best one I've seen so far: reading the EULA for a RPG dice rolling program, I find this:
Section 3.a.i: This software is a guitar utility. This is a learning tool.
A dice roller that teaches you to play the guitar? Now that's a feature!
"One of our developers buried some easter eggs in a web-based game, and nobody has claimed them yet after several months."
Heh. I buried something like that in an essay I wrote in English Class. I had a teacher that just piled and piled and piled work on us. I was CERTAIN she didn't read through everything. "If you read this far, I owe ya a soda." I don't know which was worse: Being wrong about my teacher not reading my work, or being out 50 cents.
"Derp de derp."
Software companies, feel free to use in your own products. Released into the public domain.
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YOUR_COMPANY_NAME_HERE ("Company") makes this copy of NAME_OF_YOUR_SOFTWARE_PRODUCT ("Software") available to you ("Licensee") under terms of this End User License Agreement ("EULA"). By installing software you agree to be bound by the terms contained herein.
LIMITATION OF LIABILITY
Company makes no guarantee of any kind, and waives all implied warranties including mercantibility and fitness for a particular purpose. Company shall not be held liable for any damage, personal injury, deaths, loss of profits, growth of additional organs, or any other injury or debt suffered by licensee due to any negligence, fraud, or other criminal or civil breach of contract or law committed by company. Licensee will hold company harmless under all circumstances in perpetuity.
PARTICIPATION IN GAINS
Company shall participate in the profits, advantages, or other benefits that the licensee experiences as a result of installing, using, or otherwise having anything to do with software no matter how remote or mundane. Company reserves the right to inspect the records of licensees business, premises, or person at any time for any reason to determine if it is entitled to a share of licensee's gains.
GRANTING OF ALL RIGHTS
Licensee gives software and company the right to do do anything it wants to your property or person for any reason. See limitation of liability and participation in gains for more information.
SEVERABILITY
Should a court of any kind find any part of this agreement unenforceable, the remainder of the agreement shall still have full force and effect.
IMMUNITY FROM LAW
No court shall have the power to enforce any of these provisions against the company, but shall have unlimited power to enforce any provision against the licensee. Licensee accepts the jurisdiction of any court.
RECOVERY OF FEES
Licensee must reimburse company for all enforcement fees incurred as a result of any action, in addition to paying a $100,000,000 penalty to the company, whether or not its action is justified.
GOOD FAITH AND DUE CONSIDERATION
Licensee declines any due consideration in accepting this EULA. Licensee accepts this agreement in good faith and verifies that they have read it and understood it in its entirety even if they just scrolled to the end and clicked OK without so much as glancing at it.
RESTRICTIONS ON REDISTRIBUTION
Licensee may not redistribute software in any way. Licensee may not format shift or space shift this software. Licensee waives all fair use rights, including the right to make a backup copy. Backup copies may be purchased from company for a (large) fee.
RESTRICTIONS ON USE
Licensee can only use the software for its intended purposes. We'll let you know what its intended purpose is when we catch you doing it and bring costly legal action against you.
Licensee must discontinue use of software and upgrade when company decides software has reached its end of life.
REVERSE ENGINEERING
Don't even think about it unless you've got really deep pockets so we can sue you for everything.
Even Software Companies.
Your brand-new generic-EULA is so faithful that I can't even read the first paragraph.
Contratulations.
Please, can somebody explain me the funny part of this CEULA?
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I know life isn't fair, but why can't it ever be un-fair in MY favor!?
That was at school. Try doing that at work in an important document. I did. In my self evaluation, I wrote about how I saved the company CEO from drowning, performed CPR on the vice president, single handedly rallied the stock market around our product, etc. My boss cut and pasted my text into his formal review without ever reading it.
At the point where he asked me to sign my formal review, I had to confess.
Don't blame me, I didn't vote for either of them!
My buddies and I in college had an ongoing gag... anyone who got up and left the vicinity of their computer with a lab report/paper/presentation on the screen had the phrase "I poop too much" inserted somewhere at random.
Unfortunately, an otherwise excellent paper that I got back had a red pen circle around a certain phrase on the 9th page, with the comment "proofread" written next to it.
"No fair, you changed the outcome by measuring it!" - Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth