Slashdot Mirror
Microsoft Research Showcase Explored
prostoalex writes "Every year Microsoft Research scientists show their achievements and developments at Redmond campus. Seattle Post-Intelligencer reports from Techfest, a number of other news resources and blogs are covering it. Read about network-enabled bear that allows parents to communicate with the kids, a mobile phone applications that not only checks, but predicts traffic conditions, and surface computing for digital homes." From the article: "The project isn't fully developed, but the ultimate vision is to have the stuffed animal interact with a child, doing such things as playing games and reading stories. Because the bear is on a network, a parent could also use it to interact with a child remotely -- communicating or even taking snapshots through an embedded camera."
I, for one, welcome our new camera-bear overlords.
that the original version of the beloved teddy bear was, in fact, a small wooden horse. Details at 10.
** "It's not my job to stand between the people talking to me, and the ones listening to me." -- Pego the Jerk
Until you go into your toddlers room late one night and find the MS teddy bear repeating submliminal messages while they sleep:
"Don't steal software"
"Only communists use open source"
"Support software patents"
My rights don't need management.
Creepy Ruxpin.
Per Square Mile, a blog about density
Damnit, at first i thought that said network enabled beer. :(
-------------
WrongPlanet.net
The Television Wiki
No, you should probably go for the Fridgefox instead! No more spyfood and annoying pop-up vegetables.
Evolution is just a scientific theory. Creationism is not.
Great. Thanks for spoiling it for us by telling us the ending.
...the bear wouldn't look anything like this, now would it?
Not to mention the Blue Quiche of Death.
"Engineering is the art of making what you want from things you can get" - Jerry Avins
"The project isn't fully developed, but the ultimate vision is to have the stuffed animal interact with a child, doing such things as playing games and reading stories. Because the bear is on a network, a parent could also use it to interact with a child remotely -- communicating or even taking snapshots through an embedded camera."
Can you say "Chucky"?????
I can't envision a more terrifying concept...
Researchers at Microsoft have found that a small animated paper clip can aid people writing documents from avoiding common mistakes. One Microsoft spokesman stated "Our new Clippy assistand proves that we are on the leading edge of computer technology. Our new product can instantly and automatically correct any grammatical error. We see Clippy supplanting the need to teach grammer and spelling in schools. In our rigourous testing, Clippy has never made a mistake. It's a wonderful product, and a demonstration of our commitment to leadership and innovation."
"Because the bear is on a network, a parent could also use it to interact with a child remotely -- communicating or even taking snapshots through an embedded camera."
June 18, 2007
Threat Advisory from McAfee AVERT
Virus/Worm Identifier: W32/Bear.A
Threat Level: Critical
Threat Pathology
After being infected, MS-Snoogums(TM) performs one of the following four tasks, chosen apparently at random.
1) MS-Snoogums will attempt to strangle the nearest child.
2) MS-Snoogums will begin swearing and berating any child in the room.
3) If the child is identifiably female (using simple pattern-matching algorithms against three jpegs embedded in the code), MS-Snoogums will make choose lewd comments from a catalog of 47 built into its codebase.
4) MS-Snoogums will attempt to persuade the child to transport him to the nearest Wells Fargo branch. If successful, MS-Snoogums will use built-in IrDA port to hack Diebold Windows XP Embedded cash machines. Records are altered to show withdrawal from account of one "I. P. Nightly".
System Protection and Cure
McAfee AVERT is currently tracking the vendor response. Vendor recommends all children be provided with MS-My-First-Shotgun immediately as a protective measure.
#DeleteChrome
Yes, they got the Touchlight idea from Minority Report, and the computer teddy from AI. It seems Microsoft Researches technique to be innovative is to watch Sci-Fi movies and try to recreate what they see there using Windows. And why not? After all, they got their business model from Michael Douglas in Wall Street - the "Greed is Good" speech.