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How to Spackle and Plaster a Black Hole

Posted by timothy on from the looking-forward-to-humorless-vitriol dept.

Phil Shapiro writes "With the recent reports about a lab-made black hole, it's useful to go over the directions of how to spackle and plaster a black hole. You can complete such projects in one weekend, but you wouldn't want to spackle and plaster a black hole every weekend."

18 comments

  1. Phils sense of humor is in fine shape by Almost-Retired · · Score: 1

    Subject says it all.

    --
    Cheers, Gene

    1. Re:Phils sense of humor is in fine shape by Almost-Retired · · Score: 1

      Well I'll be... First post! And then they've raised the time between posts to 2 minutes. Now that sucks.

      --
      Cheers, gene
      "There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty:
      soap, ballot, jury, and ammo. Please use in that order."
      -Ed Howdershelt (Author)
      99.34% setiathome rank, not too shabby for a WV hillbilly

  2. two in one by sailforsingapore · · Score: 5, Funny

    With the right technique, what was once a gaping hole in the universe can blend in smoothly with the surrounding space.

    Good...there is hope for my hometown yet...

  3. You can complete such projects in one weekend? by Lars+T. · · Score: 4, Funny

    And I thought making a black hole was space-time consuming.

    --

    Lars T.

    To the guy who modded me down from perfect to terrible Karma - Apple haters still suck

    1. Re:You can complete such projects in one weekend? by fm6 · · Score: 1

      It is! But it consumes more space than time...

  4. I suspect a cover up by fcolari · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought if it was small enough you could just use a dab of toothpaste. Worked in my apartment for our posters. Sshhh... don't tell my landlord.

    --
    "The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the pieces." --Aldo Leopold (Paraphrased)
  5. What's next? by mOoZik · · Score: 1

    Trading blackholes? Get your neighbors to spackle, plaster, and renovate your boring old hole into one that is chic! Coming soon on the Discovery Channel.

    /lame joke, just laugh. please?

    ;)

    --
    A blog like any other.
  6. don't quit your day job by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Troll

    Your attempt at humorous prose generally sucks.

  7. I guess... by cfavader · · Score: 1

    It's good to see the hobbyist will never die no matter how lame things get...

  8. Brilliant. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Brilliant.

  9. Doesn't this belong somewhere else? by nsaneinside · · Score: 2, Funny

    Oh, whoops, Slashdot doesn't have a "Humor" section. Better put in in "Science," then.

    1. Re:Doesn't this belong somewhere else? by rdwald · · Score: 1

      Um, Slashdot does have a humor section. Which is where this was categorized (in addition to the Science section, since it is, after all, science humor.)

    2. Re:Doesn't this belong somewhere else? by nsaneinside · · Score: 1

      It's not terribly funny, though. Maybe we need a "Bad Humor" section...

  10. Ever notice.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Interesting
    Ever notice how humour articles usually don't work on slashdot? By "don't work" I mean "fail to generate any interesting discussion".

    The standard internet forum response to an article of this calibre would be to post a single line comment such as "LOL" or "That's a cool link. thx." The standard slashdot response will be a few, very nerdy jokes that no will bother to moderate because they aren't particularly funny (like most of slashdot humour). Lack of moderation leads to few posts rising above a 3 threshold (which is probably the sane minimum for browsing slashdot - even with my severe -2 extra-moderation for "funny" posts). With few posts above a reasonable threshold, few people will bother to post/read/browse the subject and it justly dies a dismal death.

    Proposed solutions:

    1. Don't accept joke articles, they're just worthless clutter
    2. Editors edit the article to make it relevant
    3. Submitters take the time to make the post more than a single link joke (see metafilter for how to turn a sorry joke with a single link into a slightly less sorry joke with a link for each word.)

    None of this is going to happen - just me having my whinge. I currently read at +4, but even that's getting tedious these days.

    Looking for more intelligent discussion...

    1. Re:Ever notice.. by DaemanUhr · · Score: 1

      I have to agree, I'm not sure how the post made it here in the first place. I kept waiting for something witty or clever as I got further in, some abstraction of physics or recent news that made it worth my time to read this, but sadly no such thing ever occurred...

  11. Practical by bar-agent · · Score: 1

    "Stuff that matters." Mmm-hmm.

    On the other hand...black holes do have matter...and spackling one would be stuffing stuff in one...

    Nah.

    --
    i'd hit it so hard, if you pulled me out you'd be the king of britain [bash.org]
  12. Black Holes by NPN_Transistor · · Score: 1

    Finally... I can get rid of those unsightly black holes. Now there's a kit selling for only $9999999999999.95! And if I order now I get a free extra set for tackling those extra-large black holes at the center of the galaxy! On second thought, maybe I won't order. Then I can say that a black hole ate my homework. Unfortunately they will evaporate and explode so I need to by the Hawking Radiation compensating device powerd by the Tachyon condensators of course...