Slashdot Mirror
Caltech Researchers Weigh Individual Molecules
karvind writes "PhysOrg reports that physicists at the California Institute of Technology have created the first nanodevices capable of weighing individual biological molecules. This technology may lead to new forms of molecular identification that are cheaper and faster than existing methods, as well as revolutionary new instruments for proteomics. The Caltech devices are 'nanoelectromechanical resonators' -- essentially tiny tuning forks about a micron in length and a hundred or so nanometers wide that have a very specific frequency at which they vibrate when excited. Slashdot covered earlier the effort by Cornell for measuring attogram objects which also employs NEMS cantilevers."
Who will be stuck working the nano-weigh station of the future? Sounds like a crappy job with a Small paycheck.
Party at O'zorgnax's Pub! Buy me a Slurmtini aye?
In other news, these devices are being utilized in the brand new series of gas pumps designed to pump gas throughout the next century.
"We're very excited about this new technology." says an anonymous CEO of a Fortune 500 oil company.
"No longer can the customer get a free $.009 with every purchase. They'll now be billed down to the exact molecule. Its a tough measure, but those freeloaders were really putting a strain on our budgets."
Job? I don't have time to get a job! Who will sit around and bitch about being broke and unemployed then?
has there been a relatively recent boom in nanotechnology?
They are all really small breakthroughs.
Slashdot, where the April Fools jokes get posted on the 3rd of April and again on the 4th.
Caltech Researchers Weigh Individual Molecules
Technology
Science
Posted by CowboyNeal on Friday April 01, @01:31AM
from the heavy-lifting dept.
Ha ha ha! I get it, I get it.
"nano" machines, "molecules" "Caltech"
You got me AGAIN! Man, CowboyNeal, you sure pulled the wool over my eyes. Ha ha ha. Whew, that was a good one.
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
Is that the problem with this picoscillatory nanoids is that their normal modes have a tendency to reverse the polarity of the neutron flux through the quantum mass matrix.
This has the unfortunate effect that at that point, you have little choice when determining the altoid-dense uberstate discrepancy to assume that the entire universe weighs exactly the same as Cheryl Tweedie from Girls Aloud.
Hooray for physics.
Doctors and hospitals need this techology right now so they can weigh patients like Calista Flockhart.
An instrument that can now weigh my penis.
Wait. Did I say that outloud? I guess I better turn off my spam-blocker.
...that they're naming these new units after stars of the past. After zeptograms we'll no doubt be seeing grouchofarads, chicobytes, and harpohertz.
No, your children are not the special ones. Nor are your pets.