Slashdot Mirror
S. Korea Considers Using Armed Robots Along DMZ
Slicker writes "S. Korea and N. Korea (aka the ROK and DPRK, respectively) share the most heavily fortified border that has ever existed. Now the ROK is considering deployment of armed robots." Not expected until sometime in the 2010s. From the article: "Robots with weapons mounted on their frames are each expected to be able to observe from 2 and 1 kilometers during the day and night, respectively, and will have the capability to record voices and take pictures in a 180-degree circle."
In a spirit of mutual understanding, and in order to establish a tentative cross-border relationship, it was agreed several years ago that South Korea owns and maintains the bottom half of all circles and North Korea keeps the tops, so an 'official' circle in both countries is only 180 degrees and anyone caught drawing a full 360 degree circle is fined or sent for re-education. If you want a complete 'western-style' circle (or circular object), you have to send your part-work to the ministry of circumferences (MoC) in the opposite country where it is assigned to a worker for completion - this really frustrates infant schoolkids who draw pictures including a bright yellow sun.
AT&ROFLMAO
Soldier: "So what do we do if it attacks us?"
Scientist: "Just reach behind you, pick up the big pile of shit and throw it at the robot."
Soldier: "What if that doesn't stop it?"
Scientist: "Reach behind once more and grab the bigger pile of shit, this time throw it in its eyes - that'll stop it!"
Soldier: "Hang on, where is all this shit coming from?"
Scientist: "It will be there, trust me."
liqbase
Now I am aware of how hostile those two nations are but I mean comon, once both sides have robots, what next?
Bigger robots
D6 63 0D 70 89 81 BB 8E 7B 7C 5F 5D 54 EA AB 73
...South Korean Zergling Rush?
Eh.
"The robots will be remote controlled," said the South Korean ministry of defense. "Thus allowing for operational efficiencies far beyond what is possible today."
A reporter raises his hand. "You mean, you're setting up remote call centers?"
"Yes, we're outsourcing to China. There, thousands of workers costing us just pennies a day will patrol our borders with giant armed robots, thus fulfilling our defense needs and the needs of the Chinese population as expressed through their arts and animation."
"Any word on the North Korean Reaction?"
"Yes, and this brings better news." interjects the Ministry of Finance. "North Korea has decided to setup their own robot army and, being years behind everyone else, has decided to outsource to us for their remote defense needs. Now we could simply take their billions of pounds of rice and make a tidy profit," said the Ministry of Finance, "but South Korea is the most advanced nation in the world. We have decided to setup an online community of people willing to pay for the priviledge of protecting a theoretical Kingdom from invading barbarians, inside of a communial, multiplayer environment."
"A Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game?"
"Yes, a MMPORPG. A MMPORPG so grand it will make Lineage look like Everquest."
Everyone in the room laughs, except for the American who looks confused.
"And you too for just 15 dollars a month can be the last line of defense against a rampaging horde of demons. They're very expensive demons, funded by Satan himself. Demons who want to ravage your women, kill your pets, and give you low-paying jobs without benefits while preventing unionization.
"As border skirmishes are rare, won't this game be incredibly boring?"
"People pay to play Star Wars Galaxies, don't they?"
The ______ Agenda