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Microsoft Releases Eight Security Updates

Posted by CowboyNeal on from the locking-down dept.

Juha-Matti Laurio writes "After a very uncommon break in March Microsoft has just published 8 new security updates. Almost all updates that are a part of the monthly release cycle are rated as 'Critical.' New Windows Shell vulnerability, named as MS05-016 is only 'Important,' but Windows XP Service Pack 2 is affected too, however. This is not the first time when there was something to fix at Shell32.dll. Vulnerabilities in TCP/IP that could allow remote code execution and denial of service at cumulative bulletin MS05-019 are affecting SP2 too. Windows Kernel, Exchange, MSN Messenger, Word (Office) and Internet Explorer get their updates as well."

18 of 344 comments (clear)

  1. Phew! by teiresias · · Score: 4, Funny

    Phew and here I was thinking hell had frozen over in March and Microsoft wouldn't have any new security updates. Thanks for reassuring me Microsoft. You had me nervous.

    --
    -Teiresias
    1. Re:Phew! by Laura_DilDio · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, this just evidence that Microsoft takes security seriously -- more seriously, in fact, than that pinko-commie-bastard operating system you all feel so drawn towards.

      Also, I'll have you pigs know that I'm leaving my duties at the Yankee Group. I've accepted a position serving Lord William at Microsoft. I'm to be his new Groom of the Stool

      Love,
      Laura

  2. Woohoo! by djinn2020 · · Score: 4, Funny
    Yay, Microsoft Windows XP is now completely invulnerable

    Thanks, Bill.

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    Mens et Manus
    1. Re:Woohoo! by 0x461FAB0BD7D2 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Contrarily, a punchline is an endpoint, and not a process.

    2. Re:Woohoo! by Plaid+Phantom · · Score: 2, Funny

      I think of it as more of a process: 1. Joke 2. Punchline 3. ????? 4. Profit!

      --
      All comments are properties and trademarks of the voices in my head. Not like I'm gonna claim them.
  3. Re:I wonder . . . by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Huh? These are patches, not new features being added.

    Technically, they are feautures being removed. Microsoft should pay us to install them. :(

  4. Thank you MS! by Reignking · · Score: 3, Funny

    I would like to thank MS for being so diligent in protecting the everyday computer user from malicious attacks from evil-doers. Keep the patches coming!

    --
    One man's Funny is another man's Offtopic.
  5. I always download updates ASAP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    That way I can be the first to break something. It's no fun having a solution already up on Google.

  6. Re:I wonder . . . by pacroon · · Score: 2, Funny

    At least they're not calling MSN Messenger an important update anymore :)

    --
    It's all fun & games until someone loses the game.
  7. Windows 2003 SP1 by BladeMelbourne · · Score: 2, Funny

    I just went to update Win2003 SP1 and all they offered was the Windows Malicious Software Removal Tool - April 2005. I'm disappointed at missing my patch fix for this month :-(

  8. Re:Critical Updates Plus Bonus Junk by clinko · · Score: 2, Funny

    BITS is the download component of windows update...

    It's also used for software deployment in corporate offices.

    It's also Needed for SP2... Judging by the fact you said no to this, I only have 1 question: What is your IP? :)

  9. Re:maybe it's me ... by NetNifty · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Anyway on the bright side my XP SP2 machine hasn't asked me to restart yet!"

    Ok it JUST popped up after I typed that for the first time. Spooky.

    --
    Linux Wireless Hardware in the UK
  10. Slashdot doubling as a calendar by hackstraw · · Score: 2, Funny


    Hmm, Microsoft security updates. Must be the 2nd Tuesday of the month.

    I don't even use MS products and I know about their update schedule, yet every 2nd Tuesday of the month /. puts up and article about it.

    1. Re:Slashdot doubling as a calendar by Ford+Prefect · · Score: 2, Funny

      Hmm, Microsoft security updates. Must be the 2nd Tuesday of the month.

      (Double-check...)

      (Triple-check...)

      But it's Wednesday!

      --
      Tedious Bloggy Stuff - hooray?
  11. Re:silent install by mr_z_beeblebrox · · Score: 4, Funny

    is that related to these patches? weird, i thought i had autoupdate disabled.

    Nope. That was me, sorry.

  12. Re:WS2K3 SP1 by arete · · Score: 4, Funny

    (to the parent - not the gp, who is me : )

    if it were up to me, I'd mod up your post before mine - that was witty AND concise.

    Naturally, I try to write something funny, and I get insightful. The only time I can remember getting a funny mod was when I complained about only getting insightful mods - like this - which is a pretty perfect example of something that shouldn't be modded funny, so it was one of my least deserving moments.

    *sigh*

    What's worse is I was proud of it anyway ; )

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  13. Re:WS2K3 SP1 by mopslik · · Score: 5, Funny

    They want a blindingly fast machine with a 90 inch display that fits on their keychain and uses no power.

    Now that's not true at all. I want my machine to generate power, which I can then use to run the cake machine.

  14. Hooray! by ErZo · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Microsoft Releases Eight Security Updates" - And twentyfour new ones! Yay!

    --
    In the Soviet Union, signatures writes you!