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Microsoft's New Mantra - It Just Works
bonch writes "Fortune has a story about Microsoft's new philosophy--'It just works.' Jim Allchin details various planned Longhorn features to meet this goal, such as auto-defragmenting in the background, the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously, and the new ad campaign Microsoft is running to get people excited about Windows. Mentions are also made of the competition from Linux, OS X Tiger, and Google."
If there was truth in advertising.
"It mostly kinda sorta works."
or
"Eventually, when Longhorn ships, it may actually work."
So yeah, don't buy anything else until then, cuz that wouldn't make sense!
Oops. I think someone had on Dvorak or something when typing "crashes".
the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously
Finally, a windows eq to ln -sf!
'It works, just' - any others? :D
Or maybe:
I Just Works.
Barely.
So far we have
Free as in costs money
Advantage as in same later
and open as in closed
We have a new entry
It just works as in windows.
Quite inkeeping with the rest of the publicity statments i belive
The only things certain in war are Propaganda and Death. You can never be sure which is which though
"It just works as designed." (you poor bastard)
>ln /foo/bar/say_it_aint_so ~/say_it_aint_so
"the ability to have files in more than one folder simultaneously"
Is it just me.. or do all OSes do this? I have thousands of files, all in different places, all at the same time... right now.
-m
Microsoft: proudly stealing from Apple since 1983.
____
~ |rip/\/\aster /\/\onkey
*raises hand*
Gates: "Yes. You there with your hand up."
Me: "Mr. Ballmer? Mr. Gates? What about spyware and virii on the Longhorn platform?"
Bill: "As our slogan says, 'It just works!'"
Me: "Oh."
Because stealing from Apple just works.
From just reading the register a few minutes ago, the slogan, "70 Percent Fewer Reboots" sounded pretty good to me.
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
No, it's "It's Just Works"!
Remember? MS Works? Nothing new, here. Move along...
Because, as we know "It Just Works" was invented by Apple.
You have to admit, it's better than the old one:
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
It just works...
<zoom in on fine print...>
The "It just works" slogan is representative that Microsoft products will work for something. Microsoft guarantees that all hardware running Microsoft software will always "Just work" as:
Boat anchors
Target practice
Paper weights
Furniture, including bookends, footstools, and coffee tables
"It just works" may or may not apply to:
File storage
Application development
Application platform
Gaming
Multimedia
Use of the Internet
depending on the availability of service packs, updates, and copious bandwidth, as well as other factors (not exclusively including) ambient temperature, the phase of the moon, the average body mass index of Microsoft programmers, and the parity of your score when you reach the flagpole.
I pity the foo that isn't metasyntactic
Apple: proudly failing to capitalize on good ideas since 1976
Microsoft: proudly stealing from Apple since 1983.
Nah, MS just made that up and it happened to be just like their slogan. This is comparing Apples and oranges.
(Bitter, evil, digusting, thieving oranges)
"When the atomic bomb goes off there's devastation...but when the atomic bong goes off there's celebraaaaation!"
They say, "It just works".
I sit with skepticism.
Microsoft go home.
I seem to recall that Ballmer had used that exact line ("It Just Works") to describe Windows ME. I can't find the exact reference, but this one might be close.
I remember this because at the time, one of my colleagues kept mocking Ballmer by deliberately misquoting it as "It just broke." To which I usually responded, "...again."
Tired of FB/Google censorship? Visit UNCENSORED!
Yeah, but the people in Microsoft's logo are dramatically obese.
here is the right one:
It just works. Sometimes.
You can't handle the truth.
Microsoft: It just works as long as you have 5+ years of experience or you'll be screwed by spyware and viri.
>lots of MacOSX code went into the early Windows versions
So Microsoft's innovation was inventing a time machine?
Unbelievable indeed...
You can't talk about Wikipedia's flaws on Wikipedia
They are Americans....
Revised EULA text follows:
16. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES. The Limited Warranty that appears above is the only express warranty made to you and is provided in lieu of any other express warranties or similar obligations (if any) created by any advertising, documentation, packaging, or other communications. Specifically, marketing materials containing the phrase "It Just Works" specifically define "works" as the standard operation of the software, information and related content AS AND WITH ALL FAULTS, and does not warrant that the behavior of the software will meet expectations of function or operation. Except for the Limited Warranty and to the maximum extent permitted by applicable law, Microsoft and its suppliers provide the Software and support services (if any) AS IS AND WITH ALL FAULTS, and hereby disclaim all other warranties and conditions, whether express, implied or statutory, including, but not limited to, any (if any) implied warranties, duties or conditions of merchantability, of fitness for a particular purpose, of reliability or availability, of accuracy or completeness of responses, of results, of workmanlike effort, of lack of viruses, and of lack of negligence, all with regard to the Software, and the provision of or failure to provide support or other services, information, software, and related content through the Software or otherwise arising out of the use of the Software. ALSO, THERE IS NO WARRANTY OR CONDITION OF TITLE, QUIET ENJOYMENT, QUIET POSSESSION, CORRESPONDENCE TO DESCRIPTION OR NON-INFRINGEMENT WITH REGARD TO THE SOFTWARE.
Somebody get that guy an ambulance!
Longhorn: Insanely Great
Up in Ottawa and down in Texas, they're fond of saying "all hat and no cattle."
Our British cousins are fond of saying "all mouth and no trousers."
Of Microsoft's group vice president for platforms, I'm fond of saying "Allchin and no dick."
Smug, annoying and delusional - he's the archetypal marketmonkey.
Those who can, do. Those who can't, write technology blogs.
"In any case, the only person who through a logic puzzle at me"
For heaven's sake, man. It's 'THREW' - you didn't turn down the position at Microsoft: they bonged you for misusage of the English language!
How unfortunate a slogan.
Another reading of "It just works" is the take that it is barely adequate, just about to fail. Which is considerable truth in advertising from MS.
The software analogue of this is, "It compiles, ship it!"