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How to Leave a Job on Good Terms?
An anonymous reader writes "I've been working for a small development company for 6 or 7 years. My boss has always been a bit nuts but overall it hasn't been a bad experience. I recently accepted a great job offer for a technology position in a different industry. I gave my boss my notice this week, and while he initially was understanding, he has since starting making accusations of conspiracy, deceit, and has otherwise attempted to make me look bad in front of employees and long-time clients. (who, thankfully, also think he is nuts) I don't like to burn bridges, but I'm pretty sure he's already burned it to the ground, even threatening to withhold my final paycheck if I don't find a replacement before I leave. Is it worth sticking out the few weeks I already told him I worked, or should I just cut my losses and leave early?"
Well, I did submit as an anonymous reader...
Whoops.
You could have risked it and put in your name, his name, and the company's name. Then, wait about a week or so, and then tell him to search Google for either of those 3 terms, and watch his face in horror as the number one result is a bunch of geeks are talking about kicking him in the nuts.
> If you can't stand it, just walk out.
Fuck that.
Next time he gives you some lip, you make your move. Prepare your revenge by eating nothing but Taco Bell, bran muffins, and cheap whiskey for the next three days. Then you wait until you're in the next board meeting and someone asks if there are any comments. Jump up on the table and say "Yeah! I got a comment!" Then you whip your cock out and smack him in the face with it. He'll freeze out of shock, and while he's standing there bugeyed 'cause he's just been cockslapped you whirl around and go all Tubgirl on him! With any luck he'll slip in the poo and fall down, and finding himself face down in a steaming puddle of whiskey-poo he'll most likely hurl like a 90-pound freshman cheerleader at her first frat kegger. The combined smell of poo and hurl should cause a chain reaction around the boadroom as the entire staff voids their stomachs and bowels in a cataclysmic emetic eruption of Biblical proportions. While everyone's flailing around in a growing lake of filth, you slip out the side window.
As the coup de grace, you run to his house and tell his wife he's been busted for child pornography. She'll run screaming to her mother, which will leave you unfettered in his home. Get his daughter *and* the dog pregnant, burn down the house, and create a huge upside-down pentagram on his front lawn in weed killer.
"Just walk out?"
Feh.
That's not the kind of talk that got us through Guadalcanal, you know?
The parent post was childish, offensive, and disgusting.
Mod parent UP, baby!!! Yeah!!!
Sounds like you have some experience with this.
Remind me to never piss you off.
No, much better would be to FIND him a replacement. Surely you know someone who's even a bigger pyscho asshole as your boss. Hire him.
With a little luck, they will kill each other.
Other choices:
- Really Smelly Homeless Guy
- Seriously, Seriously Flaming Gay Guy (best if boss is a homophobe)
- One of those guys who is SUPER nice, but a TOTAL fuck-up (they are very hard to fire)
Use your imagination.
If you live in texas you are in reasonably good shape on the final paycheck thing.
Hell, in Texas you can probably shoot his ass for pulling shit like that.
What shocks me is that people always forget the old addage that when there's one finger point at something, there are four fingers pointing back at the person pointing.
Try as I might, I can get at most three fingers pointing back at me. Am I doing it wrong?
I knew that Wil Wheaton was a Slashdot reader. I must admit I'm surprised to see that Jason Mewes is. Welcome to Slashdot, Jay!
This sig is not the Zahir. Lucky for you.
>>The combined smell of poo and hurl should cause a chain reaction around the boadroom as the entire staff voids their stomachs and bowels in a cataclysmic emetic eruption of Biblical proportions. While everyone's flailing around in a growing lake of filth, you slip out the side window.
>Remind me to never piss you off.
Nah. Just don't piss off Chunk from The Goonies. I knew it sounded familiar:
But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
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