Slashdot Mirror
The Xbox 360 Unveiled
You may or may not have caught the Xbox 360 unveiling on MTV Thursday night, but the internet will provide. A plethora of sites have photos, videos, commentary, specifications, and interviews about the new system. Your fellow readers have pulled together to provide links to: 1up.com, Joystiq, Gamespot, The BBC, CNN, NYT, Gamespy, Team Xbox, Voodoo Extreme, Anandtech, and eToyChest. The official Xbox 360 site opened last night as well for word straight from the source. For more official images Ourcolony.net has been 'solved', and now features an OurColony specific video preview. Finally, for commentary on the event, the Video Game Ombudsman provides an alternative to the press releases. From the post: "Kyle Orland (9:28:42 PM): The future of gaming is a girl in a blue dress?
Dan Dormer (9:28:47 PM): The future of gaming is a girl with a bag?
Kyle Orland (9:28:57 PM): She's the Xbox! OMG!"
The following is being offered free of charge to all those who feel the need to troll the Slashdot Games section. Please print out a copy and keep it with you at all times. If you follow these simple steps, you trolling is guaranteed to improve.
1. If a game is currently on PS2 and there are plans to bring it out on the Xbox, make sure to claim that no one will want to play that game by the time it gets to the Xbox. For example, by the time Virtua Fighter 4/GTA3 comes to the Xbox, we'll all be playing something new.
2. Use the reverse logic if it is a game only on the Xbox that may be ported to other systems/PC later. Case in point, Halo. Say something to the effect of "I'll wait for the true version of Halo on the PC". "It will be much better than the Xbox version".
3. Constantly complain about FPS on consoles ACCEPT for Goldeneye.
4. Always use Bill Gates name. Act as if he is the one making the games.
By all means, if you run out of clever or interesting things to troll about, just bring up Mr Gates. Lots of people hate him and will be glad to agree with you.
5. Complain about the XBox controller. Even if you have never seen or used it, it won't matter. People will believe you when you say it's big. Be sure and try to provide a testimonial about your wife or girlfriend or kid who complains about the size of it. Also claiming to be injured by the controller can be the foundation of a great troll post.
6. When referring to the Xbox, try to scew the name a bit. Xblox, eggs bocks, the stupider the name, the more favorable of a response you will get.
7. Be sure and mention Japanese and European sales numbers. If you aren't sure what those sales numbers are, go ahead and make something up. Estimate low, most people will believe you.
8. Although Xbox owners seem to enjoy there games, make sure to comment on Xbox not having any games with good gameplay. Although the Xbox does share some ports with PS2 and Gamecube, it's okay to assume that the Xbox version of those ports has poor gameplay as well.
9. Since the Xbox has nice graphics, be sure and find a way to put a negative spin on this. Using the age old formula that states if a game has nice graphics, it must have terrible gameplay, you can convince people that Xbox games are all tech demos.
10. Defective Xbox stories are excellent to use in trolling. The best part is that they require no proof. I find that "the screen just froze up" works great. Occasionally you can use something really bizarre like "My friend bought an Xbox and it caught on fire and burned down there house. Now they are homeless. F*** Bill Gates."
11. When all else fails, lie. There are lots of people who will agree with you just because they hate MS
Jeez, a 30 minutes show, and no information at all, (except its uglyness and stupid name...)
... oh wait... its MTV what else could you expect?
If Microsoft was mass, stupidity would be gravity.
But, another interesting question: Will it Run Longhorn? The spec is quite good, and it would be nice to have a full OS for all my multimedia needs..
"If you keep an open mind people will throw a lot of garbage in it."
Sleek, curvaceous, white exterior with no messy wires?
They should have called it "iBox".
Unfortunately, I am not Wil Wheaton
http://www.llamasoft.co.uk/neon-screenshots.php
:)
Jeff Minter code in millions of households soon
Bill Gates said he would bring down Apple's iPod one way or the other. I just don't know whether making it larger and providing less hard disk space is the way to go about it!
I was just browsing through the xbox360 games on 1up, and apparently duke nukem forever is going to be released on it...
http://www.1up.com/do/gameOverview?cId=3140411
Me too - you not buying one will make it easier for me to buy 3 of them the day they come out :)
I associate the number 360 with some clunky old IBM mainframes. The CPU is from IBM, but that is hardly the intended association.
:)
It could be 360 degree vision. Does the console have souround video
Xbox 360? Isn't that kinda like saying we turned our new product completely around (figuratively speaking) so we could send it in same direction as the old one? Talk about a vote for uncreativity :p Yes, I did hear it was a nod to the skateboarding community. Why? And if so why not just call it the Xbox 180? It would make more sense. Go figure.
... and we all know that gamers are statistically savvy about things like home decor.
Almost sounded rational until you got to the part about "we have several ipod killers in various stages of development"
Then I realized you were a Bill Gates impersonator.
Boy! That's just what us gamers wanted to hear! A new gaming console, but it's not just for games! wiippeee! Yahooo! Yehawww!
The Xbox360 CPU will probably be very fast performing well-defined number cruching tasks with little branching and logic (e.g. physics processing), but bad at game logic (e.g. AI), compared to current general purpose PPC or AMD64 hardware.
Ah, that explains why the XBox 360 will be shipping with Excel Spreadsheet: The Game.
Oh that would be spiffy, then I could finally run Windows on my PowerMac!!!!!!!
Just what I am waiting for, this Mac OS X thing just isn't all it is cracked up to be. I am always happy when I can work at XP here at work (although it looks like Mac OS X for some reason).
If you want to e-mail me, use my PGP Key.
7. Be sure and mention Japanese and European sales numbers. If you aren't sure what those sales numbers are, go ahead and make something up. Estimate low, most people will believe you.
;)
According to this http://game-science.com/news/001076.html/ article, the XBOX sold a whopping 169 units in Japan last week, and 6,529 for the whole year. At the other end of the spectrum, the Nintendo DS sold 67,863 units last week. Clearly the XBOX is not doing very well in Japan.
*** Disclaimer - I own a xb0KZzzz