Microsofts "Honeymonkey" Project

g0bshiTe writes "Ever hear the saying, 'given enough time a room full of monkeys could type out Shakespeare'? Well Microsoft seems to be taking this saying to heart, and taking a cue from the Honeynet project, they have created what they have dubbed 'honeymonkeys.' Security Focus has an article which describes this honeymonkey network, which is little more than a network of virtual Windows XP boxes in various patch states. These boxes are setup to crawl the seedier side of the web in search of vulnerabilities not bieng reported, and are being actively exploited in an attempt to further secure their product. Sounds like a decent idea from the Redmond crew to me."

Comments

secret name of the honeymonkeys

[Hank Chinaski]

they call these guys "customers" over in redmond ...

Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys

[Anonymous Coward]

sigh...

I like monkeys. The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought that odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth. I bought 200. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in their genitals. I laughed. Then they punched my genitals. I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech, hurl themselves off of the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into its third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive: they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sorta' dropped dead. Kinda' like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Damn cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room, on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.

I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and 199 dead, dry monkeys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber. I was embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two monkeys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't all go bad.

I tried burning them. Little did I know my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and 197 dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed. The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of my monkeys and to use the bathroom. I severely beat one of my monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them way but the garbage man said that the city wasn't allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him that I had a wet one. He couldn't take that one either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't know quite what to say. They pretended that they like them but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I like monkeys

Re:secret name of the honeymonkeys

[st1d]

Nope, it's B.G.'s pet name for Steve Ballmer. I thought everybody knew that...

Get ready for a ton of these

[Anonymous Coward]

*GENERIC JOKE ABOUT MONKEYS BEING IN CHARGE OF MS WINDOWS SECURITY*

Just thought I'd head everyone off here...

(lameness filter padding lameness filter padding lameness filter padding)

Warning: This Operation Has Side Effects

[Anonymous Coward]

In addition to getting info on new vulnerabilities, they'll probably also get loads of malware to add to the anti-spyware tool. This is a good thing.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

This group also did "ghostbuster"

[nweaver]

This group has done several impressive projects. Among them is the "Strider Ghostbuster" Rootkit Detector.

This is part of the general Strider Project in Microsoft Research. They do very good work.

Re:Hmm.

[lcnxw]

No, it is the start of Microsoft Newspeak. Longhorn will no longer say "Memory Page Fault" but instead "memfault." "Blue Screen" (bluescree) will lose its negative meaning and come to be a blessing from m.s. (Microsoft). Words like honeymonkey will eventually take on meanings like Ingsoc or doublethink, and there will be no more crashes, because it is no longer possible to concieve a crash.

"he is a doubleplusgood honeyeymonkeyer."

"Bluescree! Praise m.s.!"

"MSCalc: 2+2=5!"

Re:Good idea

[harrkev]

Sure. It sounds like a good idea -- until these boxes hit some warez and mp3 sites. Next thing you know, the BSA and MPAA are knocking on Microsoft's door. I wonder how many licenses for Windows and Office the BSA will force Microsoft to buy...

Re:Hmm.

[Heliologue]

Computers are supposed to crash. Computers have always crashed.

this news is BIG

[muszek]

Pre-Monkey Era:
-- someone exploits a vulnerability
-- 2 weeks later someone discovers it
-- half a year later M$ patches it
-- three years later new version of Windows is released and finally the last 80% of users have patched systems.

it took 3 years, 6 months and 2 weeks to patch most computers.
Post-Monkey Era:
-- someone exploits a vulnerability
-- 2 days later monkeys report it
-- half a year later M$ patches it
-- three years later new version of Windows is released and finally the last 80% of users have patched systems.

it took 3 years 6 months and 2 days to patch most computers.

nice PR move though.

how much thought went into this?

[ChipMonk]

Two simple questions:

1. Are these machines using non-Microsoft IP addresses for their 'net access?

2. If not, how long until the worm authors take that into account?

Re:New job posting at Microsoft

[Ithika]

Do you have what it takes to hit the (honey)monkey?

Re:Good idea

[st1d]

This is a pretty good idea. If anything, it will help curb the script kiddies indesciminantly flinging exploits around. Unless you want that overflow you found to get patched, pick and choose your targets carefully.

Not really, as script kiddies, by definition, don't typically discover exploits, they're more thrill seekers looking for an ego trip. When an exploit stops working, they'll just move on to another. When (if?) exploits become hard to find, because true crackers protect them better, the script kiddies will return to their previous pursuits, games and porn.