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Fighting Cancer with Math
zoloback writes "A group of scientists have developed a mathematical method to fight certain forms of cancer. The study has taken the team several years, but the first trial on a human has been successful. You can read the actual paper. It looks like a huge advancement in science, because there's a possibility to extrapolate the method to other types of cancer" From the article: "The researchers have evidence to show that all tumors grow in the same way, irrespective of the tissue or species in which they develop. In a previous paper, these researchers reported that tumor growth, rather than being exponential as commonly believed, is a much slower "linear" process similar to the growth of certain crystals and other natural phenomena."
But she blinded me with science!
I'm Dancin Santa, bitch!
"Nurse quick I need 20cc's of the quadratic equation STAT!!!"
Remind me of the joke on how mathematicians fight fire...
A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel in separate rooms. A fire breaks out in the physicist's bathroom. The physicist wakes up, sees the fire, does some calculations on his calculator, fills a cup of water, and throws it at the base of the fire putting it out while getting the rest of the bathroom hardly wet at all, and then goes back to sleep.
A fire breaks out in the engineer's bathroom later that night. The engineer wakes up, sees the fire, runs into the hallway and brings the firehose into the bathroom and lets the stream go full blast. After a minute or so, the fire is out, and the bathroom is soaking wet with water dripping everywhere, but the fire is out and the engineer goes back to bed.
A fire breaks out in the mathematician's room. The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire, does some lengthy calculations on paper, lights a match and drops it in a glass of water, says "It can be done", and goes back to bed.
I'm sorry, but my faith does not allow for medical/mathematical intervention. You must allow my child to die to fulfill god's glorious plan.
You can stuff all your "evolution" and "math" voodoo. Fucking heathens!
What's next, a 'Grow Your Own Cancer' kit like those crystal ones? I hope it works better than the crystal ones do...
1. Confuse the tumours with complex calculus.
2. When they're not expecting it, nab 'em!
we have a mathematical model isolating the immortal aspect of cancer cells.
Now fighting cancer is easy as pi!
Anonymous Coward
Who needs stem cell research it for "recreational" use. I've got a mail box full of 'enhancing' growth pills. And I'm sure they didn't use stem cell research to get those 'doctor' approved pills to add inches etc...
:D
If you want, I could forward them to you.
cheers.
Money cannot buy happiness, but can buy something soo darn close, that you can't really tell the difference
could someone explain it to me?
It's simple, really. The cancer can't survive if the host organism is dead. Therefore scientists have proposed boring cancer sufferers to death with complex mathematical proofs, hence killing the cancerous cells and preventing the patient from having to suffer the horrible death that cancer brings.
It is not the point that the boring mathematical proofs are a more painful death that the years of suffering at the hands of cancer and conventional treatments.
I drink to make other people interesting!
Thanks for suffering the pain to post on slashdot.
31-68 = -37
Oh my god.
I'm already dead and have been for 37 years.
This must be hell? That would explain a lot...........
But in the US they would say "Nurse, quick I need 21/32nds of an ounce of..."
A cure for cancer? By using math? Astounding!
This shouldn't be so astounding. After all, for many it's already cured insomnia.
Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
Therefore your gender has nothing to do with your contracting aviary cancer.
Very astute observation. It's most likely your species that dictates your ability to develop aviary cancer.
ovarian cancer is completely impossible without ovaries, just like it is impossible for a female to get testicular cancer.
Don't oppress me, you insensitive clod!
I have an idea. Suppose I agree that I can't actually have ovarian cancer, not having ovaries, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that I can have the right to have ovarian cancer. It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Ah, arrogance and stupidity, all in the same package. How efficient of you. -- Londo Mollari
Let P be a spherical patient.
The article seems a bit short on details. Like what treatments they are implimenting based on the formula. Or do they just write formulae down on paper and feed them to the patient?
I'm sorry, but my faith does not allow for medical/mathematical intervention. You must allow my child to die to fulfill god's glorious plan.
Shouldn't be a problem if you're Catholic. Remember: it is perfectly acceptable for Catholics to prevent pregnancy with mathematics, though sinful to use physics or chemistry.