Slashdot Mirror
Will Sex In Games Ever Be Sexy?
The Guardian Gamesblog has an editorial up discussing the pitiful state that sexuality is in when it comes to games. Titles like "Singles: Flirt up your Life" and "The Guy Game" are not sexy...they're just embarrassing. From the article: "Historically, you can understand the reasons behind the industry's adolescent handling of adult themes: a younger audience, a male-dominated development environment and, of course, basic pixilated visuals which only ever really allowed a nudge, nudge, wink, wink, 'Confessions of a Bitmapped Bikini Lady' approach to portraying sex."
In order to have a game which contains good sex, you need to have an audience who knows what good sex is.
Unfortunately, judging by the popular porn promoted by most gamers and netiziens, most people don't have a fucking clue,
It's fine if an 18 year old doesn't know what good sex is, but a 30 year old adult? Give me a fucking break.
99% of porn on the net and on the videos is complete utter crap: Same formula, different girl, staged sex, fake orgasms-- all ending with a goddamn cumshot. Why the hell would you pull out of a great orgasm to cum on the girls face??? BOOOOOORRRRRING!
The audience of this porn obviously doesn't have a fucking clue what 'hot sex' is, and doesn't tire out from bad crap porn.
94% of Repubs and 21% of Dems voted to renew the Patriot Act
They need to go play Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time. The writing in that game was excellent, including the sex scene.
Comment of the year
sexg0d: Hello, Sally_nicetits. What do you look like?<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from C&A. I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of madras sauce on it from dinner...and it smells funny.<br><br>
Sweethart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?<br><br>
sexg0d: OK<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.<br><br>
sexg0d: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: I'm moaning softly.<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.<br><br>
sexg0d: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.<br><br>
sexg0d: I'll pay for it.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: I take your hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breast. My nipples are erect for you.<br><br>
sexg0d: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.<br><br>
sexg0d: I suddenly sneeze. Your breast are covered with spit and phlegm.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: What?<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm so sorry; Really.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: What's the matter?<br><br>
sexg0d: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: Are you OK?<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.<br><br>
Sally_nicetits: Can I help?<br><br>
sexg0d: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
They'll never see you coming!
Show me on the doll where his noodly appendage touched you.