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Nerds Make Better Lovers
ultimabaka writes "The New York Daily News, fine bastion of reporting that it is, released an article today discussing the rise of nerd popularity among women in general, and famous women in particular. Detail is given into the dating exploits of Christina Aguilera and Elin Nordegren (nerdy Tiger Woods' supermodel squeeze), among a bunch of regular Janes. Apparently being a nerd is now in?"
So being a rich, well-televised sports figure now makes you a nerd? Interesting.
BS.
The thing about this article is that it's talking about what good providers nerds make. And what nice guys they are. And how much of a 'turn on' that is. People - women and men both - don't like what's good for them. It just doesn't seem to be the way things work. Intelligence, introversion, and individualistic tendencies (standard geek traits) != Sexy. Eval(Good breadwinner + good hair + muscles == sexy) == 1.*
The famous couples in TFA where the male is paid millions to ACT like he's a geek are not good examples.
Geeks are, of course, willing to put a lot more effort into relationships sometimes. And they are sometimes willing to learn, because it's what they like to do. Occasionally they can be interested in learning interpersonal and social skills. That can make them easier to deal with in some ways, and (or so I've been told) intelligence can make them slightly better in certain situations where a bit of knowledge about biology is helpful. Does this make them more attractive? Not really. Does it make it easier for them to get girls to stick around for a while? Kinda. In my experience, the 'geeky' drive to throw intense, unimaginable-to-non-geeks effort into a problem until it is 'solved' has been a great detriment to every relationship I have ever attempted. Add to that the fact that most of the geeks I've known have been idealists, perfectionists, and socially inept for various reasons, and you get a group of people that aren't that sexy. Female geeks generally have their pick of the litter, and that's a sign that it's a very strong seller's market to me.
Sorry. This article isn't accurate. Modern society isn't getting deeper, it's just that its advice columnists want to think they are.
* - I haven't touched a C compiler in years. Correct me all you like.
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Only in NY Daily News' bizzaro world would a 6'2" guy with rippling muscles, can hit a ball 350 yards with a driver, has WORLD-CLASS hand-eye-coordination, and was routinely named as the MOST AVAILABLE BACHELOR IN THE WORLD (before he got married) would be described as "nerdy".
Yeah, and I hear Brad Pitt is practically a hermit.
I am sure there will be a lot of comments on this article like "Yay! I can get a hottie!" now. However, speaking as a woman who has dated several geeks, I thought I would share a woman's perspective.
1) I can't tell you how many geek guys I know who can't even take care of their most basic personal hygiene needs. You need to shower at least once a day and use deodorant to become reasonably attractive to any woman. No woman is turned on by stinky body odor.
2) Self-confidence is attractive. Unfortunately, many geeks think self-confidence is something for guys who brag about every "conquest" they have. It's not. Self-confidence is simply respect and love for who you are. Love yourself first and good relationships will follow. This is difficult, but it's the key ingredient to any successful relationship. If you know who you are and you love who you are, people will love and respect you that much more.
3) Complaining/whining is not attractive. Some geeks have very bitter personalities and spend a lot of time whining about how the world would be a better place if only this or that. (The most common one I hear is whining about a job they're in.) If you complain, do something about it! Start your own business. Program something better on the side and sell it. Take control of the situation and create something better instead of griping.
4) Being a slave isn't attractive. If you make it clear that you'll do anything for a woman, and grovel for her affection, you're going to end up attracting the wrong type of woman. Any successful relationship is a two-way street. While there's nothing wrong with showing your love and affection, groveling only means you'll get taken advantage of and perhaps become bitter about (see #3.)
5) Lead a balanced life. No one is less attractive than someone who sits on a computer all day and never gets out of the house. Plus, it doesn't make for a healthy life of your own (I should know; I work from home and often spend 12-16 hours a day in front of the computer.) Get out there, meet people, and have fun. It will make you feel better about yourself to have a good group of friends around, as well.
I have been in several great relationships with geeky guys. I find the most successful relationships I have are with guys who already have a decent level of self-confidence and several friends who respect and love them. They may be interested in computers, but they are also interested in having fun and getting out of the house on a regular basis. Take this guide to heart and you can have a good relationship with the right woman as well.
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I agree...
Talking about famous people and how they have the hottest women and still are nerdy, is just an example of how easy it is to get a trophy wife when you are famous and have money. Elin Nordegren, to whom Tiger Woods is married, would never have ended up with a guy like Tiger if he had nopt been worth $500 million+.
Don't get your hopes up guys, girls don't like introverted single minded computergeeks. Get a different hobby, lose the ugly glasses, get some contacts. Get a skin treatment and loose some weight. Get some dental work done. Learn how to communicate and how to listen. Girls in general couldn't care less about computers, nor do they like that you spend 10 hours a day in front of the screen.
Nerds, geeks and what not... If you want a girl, you need to change. Introverts are not sexy, they are horrible to be around due to their intorversion. Sorry guys, don't get ypur hopes up!!
If you mod me down, I *will* introduce you to my sister!
And that's the part that has always made me bitter. The fact us geeks will be there when these wild women are "ready to settle down." We won't be out there having the wild fun, partying, adventures with them, we'll be there when they're ready to end that and become more serious. They'll have all these memories and experiences, we'll have Saturday nights watching Star Trek reruns.
Dude, if I could give you and anyone else who reads this some advice, please listen closely.. You do no need a female to go have wild fun partying adventures. Before I get flamed, let me elaborate.
When I was 16-20 I did the typical "nerd" stuff. Sat at home on weekends, tinkered with my computer/hobbies, and never had social interaction. When I turned 21 I was fed up with it and went and got a job at a nightclub. I didn't know a single person there when I started, I didn't have a girlfriend, I just took the plunge and immersed myself in the whole nightlife scene. I was working the door of the club, and believe me, everyone wants to know the door guy. We charged a $5 cover and you wouldn't believe what some people will do to get out of paying cover. I got kisses from hot females, drinks, phone numbers, flashed various body parts, etc. Within a couple of months I was starting to go out partying with my co-workers from the club, and within a year I knew just about everyone that came in regularly.
So in about a year's time I went from a social "zero" to a well known guy in the night life scene. In the few years that followed (my early 20's) I had plenty of girls, tons of friends, and all of the wild partying fun adventures I could handle. At one point I was even dating a stripper for a couple of months. I'm settled down and engaged now (NOT to the stripper), but I wouldn't trade those few years for ANYTHING. Yeah I probably shaved a few years off the end of my life, and yeah I probably could have spend that time doing something "productive" like studying or programming, but you only get once chance at life to have great experiences. IMO you should take them whenever possible, or make them if you have to.
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