Slashdot Mirror
If Bad Software Developers Built Houses...
Richo99 writes "The editor at UI Hall of Shame takes us for a walk through a house designed by bad software developers. It appears Ed is getting a bit tired of really bad software designs in popular shareware titles. It is interesting because how much of a crime these apps perpetrate isn't obvious until you apply the same logic to everyday things, like the design of a house. I especially love the access to the garden. "
- Greg
Start a happiness pandemic
If Microsoft programmers built houses, the walls would be blue with white trim, and the garage would have to have CHKCAR run on every instance of the door opening.
On top of that, there's also the whole "backdoor left wide open" stigma that comes with the Windows house.
Striking fear in the authors of godawful fanfiction, I am here, appearing in darkness, Tuxedo Jack!
I wonder where dead links stack up... ;)
wow, one comment and it's already /..ed
that's like a 2mph wind knocking over the house, right?
Just look at the beautiful design and layout of their site.
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Beautifully crisp, clean, clear and consise
Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
What truth?
There is no dupe
would every room be duplicated 2 or 3 times?
:))))
(LOL.. just kidding! don't troll-rate me please!
the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.
Soory, I can't remember who said that, but it is so apropos.
If "disco" means "I learn" in Latin, does "discothèque" mean "I learn technology"?
The architect of the house couldn't be joined,
The foundations aren't ready yet,
The site is slashdotted already.
I have discovered a truly marvelous proof of killer sig, which this margin is too narrow to contain.
it would collapse the first time 50,000 geeks tried to visit it.
I once asked a management type why was the dealine chosen even the specs weren't even done yet! Their reponse was "that's how we'd meet the ROI (Return on Investment) requirement for the project. I said "Maybe the project isn't worth doing and the VP is an idiot!" , but it came out of my mouth as "Oh I see! I learn something new everyday!" Of course, we missed the deadline and the ROI target too.
What is the architectural equivalent of doing everything in flash? Las Vegas?
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
Aaauugh, the typos! Comma splices! Run-ons! My bleeding eyes!
Another one bites the dust
a software designer or team is likely to have at least one, if not many, problems that have never been solved before.
Don't call them "problems", the correct name is "users".
The real Ralph Yarro posts as Anonymous Coward. Anyone else is an impostor.
Bad software developers have built houses
My next sig will be ready soon, but subscribers can beat the rush
Yeah, that's cute and all, but maybe you failed to notice the following:
Oh, but you'll correct "good" instead of "well" because YOU FAILED TO DETECT IRONY.
If it's for-profit but free, you're not the customer -- you're the product (e.g., the Slashdot Beta's "audience").
Hey, I build shareware houses.
If it's not one thing it's your mother.
Of course, let's be fair and scale the world correctly...
Though the visitor thinks that the lounge should be broad and nice, his hostforgets to tell him that he routinely runs horses through at high speeds, and the designer had only the one out to deal with the viscious user having somewhat odd requirements that they insist upon and think are normal.
The doors swing outwards because there are literally THOUSANDS of travelling salesmen per day, and if it swung inwards they would either force their way in to try to help you refinance your home, sell you vaccuum cleaner enhancements, or have an indecent proposal for your horses... and that's assuming they don't secretly drop self replicating robots inside that use your phones to call up a bunch of misguided teenagers across the world to give them orders like "tear up carpet" and "read house owner's diary to me".
The garden is plastic because the owner doesn't understand the basics of garden maintenance and anything else would die, and is underground because the sun gives off nova intensity light at random intervals for unforseen amounts of time.
---
Dear Mr. Architect:
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure what I need, so let's get started. My house should have between two and 45 bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I'll make the final decision about what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdowns for each configuration so I can arbitrarily pick one at a later time.
Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them).
As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like insulated windows or composite siding. (If you choose not to use Anderson insulated windows, be prepared to explain you decision.)
Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that the kitchen should accommodate (among other things) my 1952 Gibson refrigerator. To assure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, you will need to contact each of my children and our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. Make sure you weigh all these options carefully and make recommendations. However, I retain the right to overrule any recommendation you make.
Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house and get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpeting; however, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.
Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours.
While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It should -- therefore appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make sure, before you finalize the plans, that there is a consensus of the potential home buyers in my area that they like the features of this house.
I advise you to run up and look at the house my neighbor built last year, as we like it a great deal. It has many things that we feel we need in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe you can design this into our new house without impacting the construction cost.
Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction cost as a result of later design changes.
You must be thrilled to be working on such an interesting project! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. Contact me as soon as possible with your ideas and completed plans.
Sincerely,
The Client
PS: My wife just told me she disagrees with many of the instructions I have given you in this letter. As the architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have failed to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect.
PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
It is really hard to open outwards-swining door with a mighty foot kick :)
3.243F6A8885A308D313
If you were building a house, no-one would come and say that you need to add one more floor that is twice as wide between floors 2 and 3 when you are already making the roof. Oh and it's done in two weeks, right?
House structure: Concrete (cough), easy to visualize and understand even by someone without building experience.
Software: Abstract and evidentally pixies and gnomes are involved somehow.
This is not a dream, not a dream...we are transmitting from the year 1-9-9-9.