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`Bionic' Arm Brings Back Sense of Touch
bdcrazy writes "Two way communication with prosthetic devices allows man who lost both arms in an accident to feel hot and cold, to sense objects and to actually move the prosthetic device to pick things up and put them down.
"
It is well and good until the arms short circuit and try to kill him...
[n8.r0n] http://petesweb.spymac.net/
...to robot pricking each finger and palm, one by one, as the patient says "ow!" and then wrapping the prosthetic arm in a black glove...
The next step is finding out that Darth Vader is your daddy.
/. ++
This reminds me of the old joke about the voice-actuated artificial arm.
They finally attach one to an armless human patient and it goes like this.
The guy says, "Arm, scratch my nose". And the arm does it.
"Amazing!", says the guy.
"Arm, sign my name." The arm does it.
This continues for quite a while. Finally when the guy's alone.
He says, "Arm, take off my pants." The arm complies.
He looks at the arm, and then at his penis and says, "OK arm, jerk it off!"
"I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey
So far it's only cost about $100,000, which is far cheaper than the $6,000,000 that was originally estimated. Maybe we'll get a little closer to that price once another arm is added, and some legs and a head and body...
I'll turn into a supernova and burn up everything. Well I'll turn into a black little hole and you'll turn into string.
Anybody want to take bets on how long it takes for a Linux dist. to be built for it?
Masturbating without a sense of touch is way better though, it doesn't feel like you're doing it... Not that I'd know! :P
Send email from the afterlife! Write your e-will at Dead Man's Switch.
On Wednesday, when Kuiken touched a spot on Sullivan's chest, Sullivan said: "Oh, that's right between the finger and thumb on the back side of the hand."
If Kuiken touches one of Sullivan's prosthetic fingers, Sullivan can feel it and say which finger it is.
Wow. I just know he is glad he can still play the "pull my finger" game with his grandkids.
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
I don't mean to sound like an insentive asshole
You definitely should consider being fitted with a prosthetic asshole that can feel hot and cold and sense objects.
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
"For some reason his right arm is showing more wear than the left," said Dr. Todd Kuiken. "Especially around the fingers and palm. We're not sure what's up with that."
Where I did my electronics engineering apprenticeship, we had a guy who had suffered a similar accident. His whole nervous system was shot to pieces and he had to wear tinted glasses because his eyes became sensitive to light. He had two claws for arms...and worked as a draughtsman in the drawing office!
One day he was in front of me at a drinks vending machine and he asked me to put the coins in for him as this was about the only thing he couldn't do with his claws. He punched the buttons and out came a cup of coffee. Just as he went to pick it up, the plastic 'splash door' on the front of the cup area (which was stuck up) came down and knocked the cup, spilling coffee over his claw.
"Damn", he said, "but at least I didn't get burned!".
He was a really nice guy.
AT&ROFLMAO