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prostoalex writes "164 million people on this planet have a broadband connection, ZDNet reports, with 52 million broadband lines sold between March 2004 and March 2005. USA, China, UK, Japan and France currently lead the world in number of broadband hookups available. Poland was the first Eastern European country to join the 'million broadband lines' club."
Is this boring, or did I really get first post?
In soviet russia, the Internet subscribes YOU!
Zhrodague.net - I do projects and stuff too.
As previously posted on my blog: http://flap-jack.blogspot.com/ [blogspot.com]
Contains material from the book "Practical Bootiatrics and Applied Cosmoproctology: Train Your Own Butt-Bitch and Save!" by Dr. C. Moore Buttz.
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First let me correct some stupid shit that people think about being a booty girl.
1) A booty girl is a fat girl, especially a girl with a big ass.
2) A booty girl is a girl that likes to be fucked in the ass.
#1 is wrong, wrong, wrong. Like the damn song says, you don't have to be fat but it don't hurt. Fuckin' Axe Murderer leavin out the most important part.
#2 is more complicated. Liking to be fucked in the ass comes later. It's a side effect. The main thing, what makes her a booty girl to begin with, is being obsessed with her own ass, which is really the same thing as being obsessed only with herself and not giving a fuck about anybody else.
After that, there are three stages.
ONE
Stage one, she's just bitchy and anal-retentive acting as a result of her ass-centeredness (self-centeredness). This all goes hand in hand and is really all the same thing. Two more things happen as a result of this.
One, she physically becomes constipated as a result of keeping her ass so tight all the time. This is literally what 'anal retentive' means. Sooner or later this leads to the need for invasive medical procedures.
Secondly, it affects her relationships and makes it ever more likely that someone will want to fuck her in the ass as punishment for being such a bitch.
However, being in Stage One means that she doesn't dare allow either of these things to happen. This is because her anus is her ego, which she can't allow anyone to touch or threaten.
If you have a girlfriend who freaks out anytime you so much as start to stick your finger in her ass, you my friend have a stage one booty girl on your hands.
TWO
A Stage Two booty girl likes being fucked in the ass. She really does. It gets her off, or at least helps get her off. She will not admit it, not even to her best friend, unless she is very, very drunk and stoned. She will not even admit it to you, the one who does the assfucking. She will not talk about it, she will not ask for it. But when you do it, she likes it. Unlike a Stage One, she will let you enter her anus and not threaten to sue your ass for trying.
You might ask how you can tell the different between a Stage Two and a girl who isn't a booty girl at all and who just doesn't give a fuck if you fuck her in the ass or not. Such a girl, you might as well be back humping your pillow like when you were 12. But how much of a fucking dumbass are you? How fucking clueless are you about the needs of the woman you are fucking? Can't you tell when a bitch is faking an orgasm? Do I have to go all Seinfeld on your ass?
The best part about a Stage Two is precisely that she doesn't talk about it. She keeps that shit a secret, because she's still a little bit ashamed of it. One advantage is this makes her much less likely to let anybody else but you have her anally while you are dating her, since she wants to keep the secret shame of the fact that she likes being a butt-bitch known to as few people as possible. If there were some way for you to fuck her in the ass and *you* not know about it, that's what she'd probably prefer. But you know, and she knows. You've been there. You've been to the dark hidden place where no one else can go, even if she cheats on you and lets somebody fuck her in the cunt or in the mouth.
So how did she get to Stage Two to begin with? If you figured out last time that you have a Stage One, how do you move her to place where you can enjoy her sweet, sweet, behind? The answer to that question is simple. She gets to Stage Two by means of having her ass penetrated. On multiple separate occasions. As many times as it takes for her to realize that she likes it.
"But Flapjack", I hea
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