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U.S. Scientists Create Zombie Dogs
Alex_Ionescu writes "U.S. scientists have managed to revive dead dogs to life, by using a technique similar to cryogenation, in which the dogs' blood was drained and replaced by a cold, saline liquid. A couple of hours, their blood was replaced, and an electric shock brought them back to life with no brain damage. The technology will be tested on humans within the next year."
Ok, looks like taxes are the only sure bet left.
New Gravy Brains(TM) brand dog food has the brain flavor your zombie dog craves.
there's more than one way to do me.
I've heard stories of Keith Richards doing this sort of thing since the '70s.
From what I understand, the dogs can't fetch very far either.
BRA.... errr... BONES!!!
I love to slaughter the english language.
OK - sponsored by Umbrella Corp. and Union Aerospace Corp.
[Insert pithy quote here]
The Good: Zombie dogs are much slower than the normal kind.
The Bad: Normal dogs will not attempt to eat your juicy, delicious brain.
The picture that comes with the article sure makes this whole process look really appealing. It reminds me of the picture that the local news station shows when there is any asteroid in the news (a huge moon-sized rock hitting the earth). Aren't stock pictures great?
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
George Romero?
GRAAIIINNNNSSSS...Grains...
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
I think this explains a lot about Dick Cheney.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
I'm wondering if the US (or other countries) would allow those on death row to volunteer
;)
So what... they kill them, bring them back to life, and kill them again? That explains the concept of being given multiple sentences of death
Besides... from what I heard, as soon as the dogs were brought back, they immediately headed to the nearest computer and started incessently sending out bulk email.
What a crazy random happenstance!
Depending on the thickness of your tinfoil hat- there are many examples of the gov'/military testing things on humans despite the fact that they "aren't supposed to." The Tuskegee Airmen are a well known example, others may require a little more belief in some conspiracy type things.
It seems to me that this would, or has already been, tested on humans who aren't from the good ole US... The are billions of people of Earth, and they gov'y knows where to find the ones who won't be noticed... i.e. prostitutes etc.
This does bring up all types of amazing possibilities- like having this on ambulances so peopel could be suspended until they are at a hospital and the trauma team is ready...
Although I seem to remember a few times I tried to replace my blood with liquor, and even at a relatively low %, I still woke up with a heck of a headache...
And All I Ask is a Tall Ship And a Star to Steer Her By
I can hear it now:
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
Igor: And you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME?
Nothing these scientists have done defies the laws of nature. Got that? No laws were broken! The scientists have merely "time shifted" the animals, which is perfectly permissible under Fair Use.
Breakfast served all day!
What do you want to #rub?
(w) - saline liquid
What do you want to rub the vial of saline liquid with?
(Q) - wand of cold
The vial glows briefly.
What do you want to wield?
(w) - saline liquid (cold)
You break the vial over the little dog's head. --more--
The little dog yelps! --more--
The little dog falls asleep.
The zombie dog awakens! The zombie dog bites! --more--
The zombie dog bites!
Sweet zombie Jesus, how can you tell if a dog has brain-damage anyhow? They already eat their own shit if you don't stop them.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
If I remember the old joke right* :
Monday: U.S. scientists announce a new discovery.
Tuesday: Pravda reports that Soviet scientists discovered it 20 years ago.
Thursday: German engineers invent a device that puts the discovery to use.
Friday: Japan exports the device to the U.S.
If only I could remember what happened on Wednesday...
* Last heard this one back in the early 1980's, if that helps put the stereotypes in context.
Right, but in 1940 they were still the Soviet Union. So, technically, dogs created zombie scientists.
Bill Clinton: Pimp we can believe in. - The Shirt!!!
Thanks to some changes in bankruptcy laws & tax laws, it might be worth it to spend a year dead for tax purposes.
Freedom is merely privilege extended unless enjoyed by one and all.
So what... they kill them, bring them back to life, and kill them again? That explains the concept of being given multiple sentences of death ;)
It could also be very convenient. Suppose not all the grieving relatives were able to make it to the execution. You could stage it again, possibly even closer to their homes. Think of the possibilities.
OK, I'll go sit in the corner and take my sense of humour with me.
meh