U.S. Scientists Create Zombie Dogs

Alex_Ionescu writes "U.S. scientists have managed to revive dead dogs to life, by using a technique similar to cryogenation, in which the dogs' blood was drained and replaced by a cold, saline liquid. A couple of hours, their blood was replaced, and an electric shock brought them back to life with no brain damage. The technology will be tested on humans within the next year."

Comments

death and taxes

[NegativeOneUserID]

Ok, looks like taxes are the only sure bet left.

Ralston-Purina has responded

[rebug]

New Gravy Brains(TM) brand dog food has the brain flavor your zombie dog craves.

Big Deal

[Anonymous Coward]

I've heard stories of Keith Richards doing this sort of thing since the '70s.

Re:Big Deal

[JordanH]

• I've heard stories of Keith Richards doing this sort of thing since the '70s.

Oh, so that's what happened. Do you know when the plan to revive him?

Re:Not On Me.

[fdrake76]

This seems too far fetched to be real.

From what I understand, the dogs can't fetch very far either.

Brains!?

[Zediker]

BRA.... errr... BONES!!!

Attn: Postal Workers...

[sl8763]

The Good: Zombie dogs are much slower than the normal kind.

The Bad: Normal dogs will not attempt to eat your juicy, delicious brain.

I can't wait

[nizo]

The picture that comes with the article sure makes this whole process look really appealing. It reminds me of the picture that the local news station shows when there is any asteroid in the news (a huge moon-sized rock hitting the earth). Aren't stock pictures great?

Volunteers

[Hoi Polloi]

I think this explains a lot about Dick Cheney.

Re:well...

[Rei]

I'm wondering if the US (or other countries) would allow those on death row to volunteer

So what... they kill them, bring them back to life, and kill them again? That explains the concept of being given multiple sentences of death ;)

Besides... from what I heard, as soon as the dogs were brought back, they immediately headed to the nearest computer and started incessently sending out bulk email.

But don't call it godless necromancy!

[PCM2]

Nothing these scientists have done defies the laws of nature. Got that? No laws were broken! The scientists have merely "time shifted" the animals, which is perfectly permissible under Fair Use.

Re:But don't call it godless necromancy!

[mooingyak]

Repairing broken animals has never been an issue, it's just when you try to make copies without written authorization from the copyright holder that people get all upset.

ObNethack

[cswiii]

What do you want to #rub?
(w) - saline liquid
What do you want to rub the vial of saline liquid with?
(Q) - wand of cold
The vial glows briefly.
What do you want to wield?
(w) - saline liquid (cold)
You break the vial over the little dog's head. --more--
The little dog yelps! --more--
The little dog falls asleep.
The zombie dog awakens! The zombie dog bites! --more--
The zombie dog bites!

brains.... brains....

[Thud457]

Sweet zombie Jesus, how can you tell if a dog has brain-damage anyhow? They already eat their own shit if you don't stop them.

Re:Russians were doing this in 1940

[Anonymous Coward]

If I remember the old joke right* :

Monday: U.S. scientists announce a new discovery.
Tuesday: Pravda reports that Soviet scientists discovered it 20 years ago.
Thursday: German engineers invent a device that puts the discovery to use.
Friday: Japan exports the device to the U.S.

If only I could remember what happened on Wednesday...

* Last heard this one back in the early 1980's, if that helps put the stereotypes in context.

Re:Russians were doing this in 1940

[Rude Turnip]

Right, but in 1940 they were still the Soviet Union. So, technically, dogs created zombie scientists.