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Ballmer: 'We'll catch Google'

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the he-loves-this-company dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Steve Ballmer was all about honesty when briefing partners in Sydney yesterday. Microsoft CEO's confessed the software giant's .Net strategy has come to a standstill, says he's accepted SQL Server's shortcomings and vowed to keep fighting search giant Google."

15 of 694 comments (clear)

  1. its not going to work by bigwavejas · · Score: 5, Funny
    Folks..

    It's not gonna work. Why you ask???

    Because he failed to fire off this attack at Google with the passion and ferociousness ROAR!!! (Look Ma I'm a Lion) of some of his past over-the-top WWF wrestler/ MS superhero assaults like Windows 1.0 release http://www.dataflo.net/~mpurintun/videos/microsoft _Ceo.wmv or (Get on your feet) http://www.danzfamily.com/videos/videos05/dancemon keyboy.mpeg I suggest he get back on track with some hardcore dancing and screaming, maybe a body suplex or two where he's GUARANTEED success!! ...or a brain explosion. (We can only pray for the latter.)

    --
    "Simplify, simplify, simplify!" Thoreau
  2. "We'll catch Google" by badmammajamma · · Score: 4, Funny

    ROFLMAO

    Damn that's good comedy. It's like a Ford Taurus saying it's gonna catch a Ferrari.

    --
    Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. -- H. L. Mencken
    1. Re:"We'll catch Google" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny
      It's like a Ford Taurus saying it's gonna catch a Ferrari.

      More like an overstuffed mobile home being towed down the road by a huge smoke-belching tow-truck, with a broken axle and a beat up Yugo hitched to its rear, 15 suitcases on the roof, 6 bicycles barely hanging on a rack, leaking oil, screen door flapping in the breeze, read-faced driver shaking his fist at the Ferrari that cruised by in a nano-second and yelling "I'm gonna catch ya as soon as I git this thing fixed! You jes wait!"

  3. Peter Principle. by jcr · · Score: 5, Funny

    If there was ever a clear-cut example of someone in over his head, it's Ballmer. If he hadn't been BG's college buddy, he'd be running a Denny's restaurant somewhere.

    -jcr

    --
    The only title of honor that a tyrant can grant is "Enemy of the State."
    1. Re:Peter Principle. by Spy+der+Mann · · Score: 4, Funny

      If there was ever a clear-cut example of someone in over his head, it's Ballmer. If he hadn't been BG's college buddy, he'd be running a Denny's restaurant somewhere.

      NO! Ballmer already proved himself as a WONDERFUL telemarketer! We shouldn't dismiss that possibility! :)

    2. Re:Peter Principle. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hey! I run a Denny's restaurant you insensitive clod!

  4. Catch Google? by Mz6 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dog: I'll catch my tail

    --
    Hmmm.
  5. problem by seoYak · · Score: 3, Funny

    Admitting you have a problem is the first step to solving it.

  6. Obligatory Bin Laden parallel by Creosote · · Score: 5, Funny
    "In the next six months, we'll catch Google in terms of relevancy". --Steve Balmer, 27 June 2005

    "The U.S. military is 'sure' it will catch Osama bin Laden this year, perhaps within months, a spokesman declared Thursday". --Associated Press story, 30 January 2004

  7. News Flash! by Kierthos · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ballmer admits strategy to "catch" Google consists of writing the word Google on a baseball, throwing it up into the air and catching it. When faced with the possibility of missing, or a complete lack of physical coordination, Ballmer advised that in the event of such limited cases, a patch would be available to correct the problem.

    Kierthos

    --
    Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
  8. The Numerous Advantages of MS Services by taskforce · · Score: 4, Funny
    Hotmail over gMail - MS's handy adverts popup right infront of you, so you don't have to scroll to the bottom of the page. MS has always been at the forefront of UI design.

    MSN Search over Google Search - WE PUT IT IN TV ADVERTS

    Microsoft's Maps service over Google Maps - It never gives wrong directions. (Becasue it doesn't exist.)

    --
    My 3D Texturing Skinning work (under construction)
  9. Ballmer at Denny's by FunWithHeadlines · · Score: 4, Funny
    Ballmer as a waiter at Denny's:

    "Grand Slam Breakfast! Grand Slam Breakfast! Grand Slam Breakfast! Grand Slam Breakfast!!"

  10. We'll catch Google! by cryptor3 · · Score: 4, Funny

    *Shakes fist in air*

    *Twirls mustache*

    "...if it's the last thing I do!"

  11. Re:Peter Principle - Maybe by Anonymous+Brave+Guy · · Score: 4, Funny
    The big question - What will Microsoft do when it does have the right CEO?

    Innovate?

    <ducks>

    --
    If you disagree, post your argument. (-1, Overrated) isn't your personal censorship tool for views you don't like.
  12. Re:Microsoft is now irrelevent by oGMo · · Score: 4, Funny
    The fact is that Windows Server outsells Unix.

    If so it's only because you need about 20 Windows servers to 1 unix server.

    :-)
    --

    Don't think of it as a flame---it's more like an argument that does 3d6 fire damage