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Royal Society Finds Lost Newton Papers
Quirk writes "The Royal Society has a story on a Lost Newton manuscript rediscovered. From the article: 'The notes are written about alchemy, which some scientists in Newton's time believed to hold the secret for transforming base metals, such as lead, into the more precious metals of gold or silver...The notes reflect a part of Newton's life which he kept hidden from public scrutiny during his lifetime, in part because the making of gold or silver was a felony and had been since a law was passed by Henry IV in 1404.'"
I dub thee, Newton, the Full Metal Alchemist.
He found greater success in his alternative research - scrap paper into gold. Just get a suitably famous person to scrawl nonsense onto the paper (some crap about alchemy should work) wait a few centuries and sell it for all the gold you can eat.
Here's another chapter you can include.
Science without religion is lame.
Error 1404: Lead to gold transformation not found.
Easier way to turn lead and radium into gold:
* Throw away the lead.
* Sell the radium.
* Buy a shitload of gold with the proceeds.
Seems like these papers contain nothing more than plans on how to get a cockroach to navigate a room while perched atop a ping-pong ball. Oh, the progress we've made.
Fear my awesome powers!
When things get complex, multiply by the complex conjugate.
Found in his notes:
1)Find lead
2)Convert to gold
3)Profit!!
From the article:
"It is therefore no wonder that - in their advice lay before us the rule of nature in obtaining the great secret both for medicine & transmutation. And if I may have the liberty of expression give me leave to assert as my opinion that it is effectual in all the three kingdoms & from every species may be produced when the modus is rightly understood: only mineralls produce minerals & sic de calmis. But the hidden secret modus is Clissus Paracelsi wch is nothing else but the separation of the principles thris purification & reunion in a fusible & penetrating fixity."
Is it just me, or does that snippet of manuscript read like spam to you guys?
Oh... you didn't know?
:)
You can make gold by a simple double decomposition reaction. You just need Copper and Aluminium:
Cu + Al = Au + Cl
I think the GP post was pointing out that alchemey was obsessed with the "philosophers stone", nuclear physics IS the "philosophers stone". The idea that silver or gold would kill you is not much of a problem to bussiness, costing more to produce than it is worth is what is holding back glow in the dark jewellry.
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage? - Pink Floyd.
AKAImBatman: Simply place the lead into the path of a strong neutron stream. Wait awhile. You should get some gold if you're patient.
Homer: That's good.
AKAImBatman: However, the gold will be highly radioactive and otherwise generally unsuitable for use.
Homer: That's bad.
AKAImBatman: Given enough time, it will also turn back into lead.
Homer: Uhhh
AKAImBatman: That's OK!
Homer: Can I go now?
Apparently the theory of gravity was all just a hoax! Religious conservatives will be happy - it was after all "only a theory" and not real science, like intelligent design.
In Soviet America the banks rob you!
Incantation 229
Take the pod of durham and triticale, mill to fine white powder. Add bovine lactation, and yolk from flightless fowl. Reduce fruit of fig tree, fill earlier mixture and fire result for 15 minutes. Alas, it is not gold, but these Fig Newtons do sell rather well.
Anybody want a peanut?