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How Episode IV Should Have Ended

OverNeith writes "An excellent cartoon film showing how SW:Episode IV would have ended in a non-Lucas reality. Enjoy!" From the cartoon: "Han: Boy, you said it Chewie. I was this close to going back and helping those people."

39 of 375 comments (clear)

  1. Episode 4 should have ended. . . by Daikiki · · Score: 4, Funny

    . . .with episode 5. Unfortunately Lucas had to make four more.

    --
    I want the fire back.
    1. Re:Episode 4 should have ended. . . by pyrrhonist · · Score: 3, Funny
      But thousands of spirits existed in the force, why couldn't they have taught new padawan.

      Well, the ideal padawans are children, right?

      Imagine an immaterial Jedi trying to communicate the Force to a prospective padawan. You'd end up with a bunch of kids in a psych ward...

      "I see dead people."

      --
      Show me on the doll where his noodly appendage touched you.
  2. luke... by guorbatschow · · Score: 3, Funny

    sux to be luke then. joint the force he would have :P

  3. torrent by StonedRat · · Score: 5, Informative
    --
    "Religion is the most malevolent of all mind viruses." - Arthur C. Clarke.
  4. how do you play this by wayne606 · · Score: 5, Funny

    What's a torrent file?

    1. Re:how do you play this by W-Cid · · Score: 5, Informative

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BitTorrent might help. http://www.bitlord.com/ is a good Windows BT client.

    2. Re:how do you play this by Conspiracy_Of_Doves · · Score: 3, Informative

      Aww.. Ain't that cute. A newbie.

      Here you go, install the appropriate version for your OS.
      http://www.bittorrent.com/

      This will explain how the whole thing works
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Torrent

    3. Re:how do you play this by werewolf1031 · · Score: 3, Funny

      What's a torrent file?

      Score:-1, Sad :/

    4. Re:how do you play this by twelveinchbrain · · Score: 3, Funny

      Aww.. Ain't that cute. A newbie.

      Aww.. Ain't that cute. Somebody who has no sense of humor. Yeah, he's a newbie whose Slashdot ID is 24,894 lower than your own. Now that's funny.

      --
      Not Found
      The requested URL /signature.html was not found on this server.
    5. Re:how do you play this by ph43drus · · Score: 5, Funny

      Jeez, if 211893 is low, make me some offers people.

      Jeff

    6. Re:how do you play this by ferat · · Score: 5, Funny

      no kidding.

    7. Re:how do you play this by CAIMLAS · · Score: 5, Funny

      You know what's even more cute?

      His slashdot UID is lower than your's.

      --
      ~/ssh slashdot.org ssh: connect to host slashdot.org port 22: too many beers
    8. Re:how do you play this by idonthack · · Score: 3, Funny

      Maybe... he's... uh... using his brother's account?

      --
      Why is it that when you believe something it's an opinion, but when I believe something it's a manifesto?
    9. Re:how do you play this by dair · · Score: 5, Funny

      Get in line people, get in line...

    10. Re:how do you play this by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

      I have UID #15, but um, I forgot my password. That's right, don't look at me that way.

      #15

  5. Re:WARNING!! by takeya · · Score: 4, Informative

    May I interest you in VideoLan?

    I believe it will play WMVs on all systems it supports.

  6. Bittorrent Rate by boingyzain · · Score: 5, Funny

    Its kinda fun to watch my bittorrent upload rate jump up from 2KB/s to 170 to 300 within seconds of the article making slashdot.

    1. Re:Bittorrent Rate by ForumTroll · · Score: 5, Funny

      Almost makes me want to start posting pr0n links here.

      --
      "A Lisp programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing." - Alan Perlis
    2. Re:Bittorrent Rate by WillerZ · · Score: 4, Funny

      Well yeah, I'd have modded it interesting...

      --
      I guess today is a passable day to die.
  7. Not really my thing, but... by John+Pfeiffer · · Score: 3, Informative

    I'm not one for star wars humor, but damn that was funny. :) Worth a watch. The animation is real nice, too.

    --

    Friend: "The NIC is misconfigured..." Me: "No prob, I'll just telnet in and fix it." *Silence*
  8. Re:WARNING!! by Basehart · · Score: 3, Funny

    How about this player, it seems to play WMV files just fine!

  9. Re:WARNING!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    ..but I'm from Europe!

  10. Re:The Matrix Revolutions and Saving Private Ryan! by paul248 · · Score: 4, Informative
  11. Heres a transcript in case you can't get the movie by CSMastermind · · Score: 4, Informative

    *Begin Transcript*

    [Text on screen]
    How Star Wars episode IV should have ended...
    [Inside the rebel base]
    Rebel Commander (briefing troops): Men normally with this information we would take time to make a more intricit plan of attack. However, rather than transmitting the technical readouts of the imperial battlestation and keeping our hidden loctaion safe...Princess Leia insisted on coming back, knowing full well that her ship was being tracked. In short, we have one chance to make this right and it's all Prince Leia's fault.
    [On the death star]
    Death star Piolet: Sir we have reached the planet Yavin. The rebel base is on a moon orbitting on the other side of the planet. We will be in firing range in 30 minutes.
    Death star commander: I say we're in range now. Fire.
    -Beeping noises-
    -Animation of the death star blowing up the planet-
    [Rebel base]
    Rebel commander: Well so much for that idea.
    [Millenium Falcon]
    Chewie: Raaaar.
    Han: Boy, you said it Chewie. I was this close to going back and helping those people.
    [Text on screen]
    The end.
    [Diagobah (sp?)]
    Yoda: Let him beat you you had to. What will I do now? Go crazy I will.
    Obi wan (as a ghost): Oh get over yourself.


    *End Transcrip*

    My thoughts on the subject:
    Look if you remember the first time you saw star wars...you didn't hate it. Maybe you have what it's become but what percentage of movies that were made in the 70's would even pass the giggle test if someone tried to release them today? The plot and special effects were something that had never been done before. Sure after 30 years the plot didn't turn out to be bulletproof. All a movie has to do to be a good movie is hold your attention and entertain for the duration it's on the screen. You know what? All the star wars movies (except episode 1) did that for me.

  12. Stress Test by typical · · Score: 3, Funny

    A post about (a) animation and (b) Star Wars which has been (c) posted to Slashdot.

    If this doesn't serve as a stress test of BitTorrent's scalability, nothing will.

    --
    Any program relying on (nontrivial) preemptive multithreading will be buggy.
  13. Re:WARNING!! by IWK · · Score: 4, Informative
    > **Hunt down the Win32 Codec pack

    If you are running the latest Debian Stable version, Sarge, you can add the line

    ftp://ftp.nerim.net/debian-marillat/ stable main

    to your /etc/apt/sources.list file and run

    apt-get update && apt-get install w32codecs


    --
    Once in a while, I even pass the Turing-Test
  14. Re:WARNING!! by ForumTroll · · Score: 3, Informative

    I'm on Linux and Mplayer and Xine can play the WMV files perfectly fine. Just need to have the correct codec installed. I'm using Fedora and I even installed all the codec's through yum. If you're using an RPM based distribution Atrpms should have all the packages you need. Plenty of instructions can be found by googling on how to install the codecs you need...

    --
    "A Lisp programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing." - Alan Perlis
  15. geez by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
    Hey Zonk, thanks for ruining the funniest line, jackass. That's almost as bad as when the trailer for Men in Black II gave away the funniest joke in the whole movie. I'm still bitter about that.

    Will Smith: (pushes button on remote) Hop in.
    A car pulls up, driven by a man in a suit. Suddenly the driver deflates and is sucked into the steering wheel.
    Tommy Lee Jones: Does that come standard?
    Will Smith: Actually it came with a black dude, but he kept getting pulled over.

    Just thought I'd return the favor. You know, in case you ever see Men in Black II. Or something.

  16. Thanks for giving away the punchline, jackass by trauma · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Yeah the rest of it was funny too, but please. Hurting that bad for a clever editorial comment? Sheesh.

  17. Re:I've had this exact same discussion! by gad_zuki! · · Score: 4, Insightful

    > I sometimes wonder what movies would be like if logically thinking people made them.

    Lets count the ways:

    1. Flying through space would involve a crew, safety checks, and published flight plans in an advances society. So no two man smuggling teams.

    2. Effeminate robots and a beeping speech system would never have made it past the "stupidity test" thus no R2 and 3P0. Instead you'd have two very predictable and obedient automatons.

    3. No faster than light travel. So long galactic civilization.

    4. No sounds in space.

    5. Stormtroopers being professional soldiers would take careful aim, set up snipers, etc thus all gun fights end with the good guys dying and quickly.

    6. No force, no prophesies, etc. No such thing.

    7. No one acting out of stupid impulse or emotion, thus Luke never leaves tatooine.

    etc.

    Err, I'd rather not watch the Vulcan version of Star Wars. The silliness is part of its charm. Storytelling is much more an unpredictable art than a science.

  18. But is it secret? Is it safe? by shmlco · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Speaking of BitTorrent, upon seeing that the "how it should have ended" site only distributed files using that method I way I fired it up to download them.

    Everything was proceeding nicely when, suddenly, my firewall started going nuts with dozens of incoming probes to ports commonly used by sql server, oracle, various license managers, and so on.

    Is it just me, or are hackers are using the ip addresses distributed by the trackers to find currently connected computers to attack?

    --
    Any sect, cult, or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.
  19. Re:I've had this exact same discussion! by Nutria · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The reason I found it so funny was because I had the *exact* same discussion of this plot hole with my friends when we were last watching Star Wars

    In deep space, you have to aim the parabolic antennae at the destination. Presumably, "subspace" transmissions would behave the same way.

    Thus, all the Star Destroyer (or whatever) has to do is notice which direction the antennae was aimed, and go That Way.

    How do you miss an enormous plot hole like that?

    It's called a plot device. It's also why laser cannons aren't radar controlled, like the CIWS in service since 1979, the AMRAAM, in service since 1991, and the AGM-84 Harpoon, around since 1977.

    Oh, and don't forget heat seekers like the AIM-9 Sidewinder and IR targeters like the M1. Abrams, since 1980.

    There are more, and I've not even mentioned non-US systems, but you get the picture.

    And how can we forget Noise In Space? Just tonight on SG:Atlantis, when a ship blew up, you could hear the explosion on other ships.

    What ever happened to, "In space, no one can hear you scream."?

    --
    "I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
  20. Minor Problem... by kbranch · · Score: 3, Insightful

    As I recall, Yavin was a gas giant. What good is vaporising vapor going to do?

  21. Star Wars: Extended Universe by SeanDuggan · · Score: 4, Interesting
    *shrug* Because when they started allowing people to write in the Star Wars universe, they decided that novels had to be canon. To publish one, you have to submit it back to the Lucas Industries where they'll check it against established history. That way, whenever you read a Star Wars novel, you know that what you're reading is actually part of the history and you won't have to juggle a half-dozen alternate realities in your head, trying to remember if in the current book, Leia's mother was an alien or not. I highly appreciate the idea, although the insistence of fans on having Jedi has led to a lot of silly plot devices for why these Jedi were not sensed by Vader in the movies.

    That said, the recent prequels don't entirely jibe with the books. *sigh* Lucas, Lucas, Lucas...

    --
    This sig has absolutely no significance and serves only to take up screen space and waste the time of the reader.
    1. Re:Star Wars: Extended Universe by bill_mcgonigle · · Score: 3, Informative
      That said, the recent prequels don't entirely jibe with the books

      Aww, hell, the prequels don't even jibe with the original trilogy.
      Leia, do you remember your mother? Your real mother?
      Just a little bit. She died when I was very young.
      What do you remember?
      Just images really, feelings
      Tell me
      She was very beautiful, kind... but sad
      Don't even get me started...
      --
      My God, it's Full of Source!
      OUTSIDE_IP=$(dig +short my.ip @outsideip.net)
  22. Re:I've had this exact same discussion! by cgenman · · Score: 3, Funny

    5. Stormtroopers being professional soldiers would take careful aim, set up snipers, etc thus all gun fights end with the good guys dying and quickly.

    Not to be too straight-laced, but they could have had the storm troopers do things like that, get set up properly, make advancements, etc, and still have the main characters escape by the skin of their teeth. It would have built up excitement in a way that watching storm trooper after incompetent storm trooper being gunned down just doesn't. At least some percentage of the movie should have been devoted to the storm troopers winning, to build up tension.

    A New Hope:
    Storm troopers rule:
    killed jawas (off camera)

    Storm troopers suck:
    Took equal losses with the defences of a councelor's ship on a peaceful mission.
    Can't stop a group of rogues from escaping while they're already in prison.
    They're scared of Han.

    Empire Strikes Back:
    Storm troopers rule:
    Took over cloud city (off camera)

    Storm troopers suck:
    Giant battletanks full of the empires strongest weaponry taken down by string.
    Still can't stop a group of rogues from escaping while they're already in prison.
    Got shown up by a dwarf with a pot on his head.

    Return of the Jedi
    Storm Troopers Rule:
    Actually stopped a group of rogues from doing something, and on camera no less!

    Storm Troopers Suck:
    Death of everything they represent.
    Lost to a bunch of muppets.

  23. Re:Torrent, good thinking! by baadger · · Score: 3, Interesting

    I'm using Opera's inbuilt BT client. Infact, I didn't even notice it was a BitTorrent link until it was 15% here already. Very impressed with how seemless it was.

    Came in at 32KB/s at first (I'm on a 300kbps line). Averaged at 11.8 KB/s according to the transfer window. Not bad considering the circumstances.

    Opera doesn't seem to be listening on port 6881, and I have a firewall in the way. Even so i've been uploading. Which is also very impressive.

    Go Opera!

  24. Oh yeah? by Medievalist · · Score: 5, Funny
    ...my firewall doesn't go "nuts". It just blocks all the unwanted incomming connections, and keeps on routing packets.
    Mine runs screaming through the room and into the garage, fires up the old Buick, and roars off into the night scattering beer cans and half-smoked cigarettes in its wake.

    Your firewall is very boring.

  25. Re:I bet... by jacrawf · · Score: 3, Funny

    What else is there to do around here? Have an intelligent conversation? *snort*